The Fibro Fog

The Fibro Fog

Today is one of those days, I feel listless, I feel tired, and my brain has fizzled out.  It started when a friend of mine emailed me and asked me to send her my phone number. She had something she wanted to discuss with me.  I sent the phone number.  She wrote back that it was not the right one. I needed to check the number I had given her.

I checked the number and as far as I was concerned it was the right one.  I told her to try again.  Apparently she called three times and got a strange man each time. I couldn’t believe it. I know my phone number. The number I had given her was correct.

I decided to call the number and sure enough a man answered.  I asked him if I had dialed what I truly believed was my number and he said yes.  I told him it was my number and I couldn’t understand why he would have it. I was adamant that I had the number for three years.  Still being nice, the man informed me he had that number for 8 years.

I was really confused at this point.  I said that I would call Bell and get the problem sorted out.  I still do not know how this man and I can have the same phone number. 

Instead, what I did was to call my aunt and ask her what my phone number was.  She told me and I was the one who was wrong.  I was one number off.  How could I make that mistake?  How could I be so certain that the number this man held for 8 years was mine?  What happened to logic?  I have always been a logical person.  The thought should have occurred to me that I was mistaken and no two complete strangers could possibly have the same phone number. 

I quickly called back the nice gentleman and explained that I was wrong and I apologized for inconveniencing him. However, I could not let this situation go.  How could I not know my own phone number and more importantly not figure out the logic that two people do not have the same phone number.  Where was my brain?  What could I have possibly been thinking, or more to the point, why was I not thinking?

I am a logical person, I am an intelligent person, I am a person that has a bachelor’s in psychology, a diploma in Family Life Education and Master’s in Counseling Psychology and yet I was stumped. This article is purposely redundant at this point to stress the fact that I was ruminating over this issue and still could not figure it out.

Finally, I decided to take it to an open forum that I am a member of.  I explained the story and within minutes I got the answer I was looking for.  Only now I feel foolish since I couldn’t figure it out myself.

You see, my misquoting my phone number was a result of what the respondent called the “fibro fog”.  Sufferers of Fibromyalgia such as myself, suffer from various symptoms. Losing our memory, forgetting things, being confused about things and so on, are all symptoms of the fibro fog.  Today I really was in a fog.  It is the first time that I have experienced a fog of this type, but not the first time that I have forgotten things that I really should have remembered. I can’t stress how scary this is to me.

I have various symptoms of Fibromyalgia.  The most common symptoms are pain all over my body.  Sometimes the pain is in the neck, or it could be an arm, a leg, a shoulder, or in my lower back.  Fibromyalgia pain cannot be detected on an X-ray.

For the longest time Fibromyalgia was considered a phantom disease.  Doctors believed women had psychological issues and the pain more or less was a product of their mind.  Today more and more doctors are starting to see Fibromyalgia as a real disease and are starting to treat it.  However, the Quebec government is yet to recognize this disease as a valid reason for disability.

I was on temporary disability only now, the Quebec government is refusing to extend the disability coverage reasoning that I after a year I should be recovered.  Temporary disability is just that, temporary. As far as they are considered it is not a permanent condition. I am stuck between a rock and a hard spot.

My brain is foggy.  I have pain all the time.  I wake up in the middle of the night in pain.  I toss and turn all night long and I never have a good night sleep.  I cannot stand up for more than five minutes without my back hurting. When my back hurts I walk stooped over like the hunch back of Notre Dame.  It hurts too much to stand up straight. My mobility is severely limited.  I cannot walk outdoors and I am housebound for 8 months of the year.  I cannot do housework, except for on a good day.  However the good days are few and far between. 

My emotions are out of balance, and my brain is now foggy at times.  I am afraid that I am losing myself.  I want so much to be the person I used to be. However, since 2001, I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, diabetes, thyroid problems, and more.  How anyone could think that Fibromyalgia is a phantom condition I do not know.  I was never one to run to doctors unnecessarily and the last that I am is a hypocondriac.

Yet when I am at my lowest, emotionally and physically, I must battle the Quebec government for recognition of my disability. My brain is so foggy I don’t even know my own phone number but I must fight for my rights. 

Note: For my information on Fibromyalgia visit this website: