I have lived with chronic pain since 1986. I decided early on that I was not going to give up and lay down to die. I have fought it every day since then with all the strength that I have. Over the years, I have gotten weaker and slowly giving in to the constant pain.
Living with this type of constant pain has made me more compassionate towards others suffering from any type of pain. Sometimes it is almost like I can actually feel their pain and my heart just goes out to them. I am very sensitive to others feelings and struggles.
Lately the pain has been getting even worse and I never thought that was possible. I am forced to go to the ER at least once a week for relief. Since the pain makes me throw up, I cannot take pills to help. I am forced to have muscular injections.
Sometimes I feel like my life is on hold. I cannot make plans because I just never know if I will be able to follow through on them or now. With this type of pain comes depression and anxiety as well as panic attacks.
I know how hard it can be to live even a semi- normal life when there is any type of pain, depression, anxiety or panic attacks that are always looming over you like a black cloud. I am only sharing this part of my life with you because I know there are others out there who suffer as well. I know how each of us try to hide this part of our lives from others but I also know how much strength can come from talking about it with others who understand. . those who understand because we have a bond that only we can understand because we have something in common. . .
There are already several groups on gather that you can find people who share your health problems. You can find some of them by looking at the groups that I have posted this post too.
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Comments: 34
I know how it is to live with pain, (my pinched nerves). I find if I keep my mind busy I don't think about pain, at least that works for me.
Sometimes it's overwhelming, other times it is a wake-up call, other times you feel sorry for yourself and hate the whole world. Anxiety attacks are the strangest thing and very real and scary.
The feelings and the strange sensations we experience are hard to put into words - in fact it makes me think I'm going crazy. My body is going thru a lot of changes, but sometimes I think it's taking my mind with it.
It's nothing I can't deal with, but what you describe is years of wear and tear and chronic pain that is a whole lot worse. It's hard to imagine that kind of battle and depending on their disposition, others might have given up long ago.
We all need help and good friends and people that care and family if possible to help us through the tough parts of life, like when we're sick and down and out. A group is a good starting point and a necessary support tool for us.
Is your friend a member of Gather?
I am very interested in a continuing chat with others in this situation. If she is uncomfortable chatting in an open forum, we could make it private.
I have also had pain all my life, at least as far back as my teens. After being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, back when it wasn't considered treatable my depression meds helped with that. Now I take Cymbalta and it helps with both the pain and the depression. Neither will ever go completely away and I have learned to accept that.
Having said all that, I can't imagine living life with the kind of pain you describe. I know when my pain was at it's worst it was never like what you have. My heart goes out to you as does so many. I only hope and pray that one day they will be able to help you with your pain levels.
Bless you hon.
Myproblem is my allergies and itching...the itching drives me nuts....it's such a deep itch that you can't scratch...or if you do, you scratch yourself bloody, literally. My scratching drives everyone around me bonkers too. I scratch in my sleep and wake Mike up.
Connie, if you ever need to talk, you know where I am. I may have never met you, but that doesn't mean I don't care a great deal for you.
I was on Cymbalta,
It is one of those antidepressive meds that also has pain med in it. I had no side affects from it but it done nothing for me at all. My Dr gave me samples so I never did have to pay for it. Always ask your Dr if they have samples.
Elle, I have thought about accupuncture and I think I'm receiving a gift certificate for it for Christmas, so I'll see. My neurologist has suggested brain surgery. My brain is so small, I think I would rather put up with the pain than trying to live with any less of my brain. LOL
I refused to have brain surgery. The brain is still one part of the body that they know very little about.
I understand. I know how hard I try to do things. I don't want to burden others. I try till it just makes me worse. Sometimes I feel like just laying down and giving up. I would never kill myself but giving up is something I think of doing lately.
After living with so much pain, I have learned to do things that I later dont even remember doing. I just go through the motions to daily tasks.
Yes I do know what you are going through. Maybe that is why I was drawn to you as a close friend on gather.
One thing I noticed that I do is complete tasks really sloppily. I think I am doing well, then I see it later and it just looks so... half-a**ed, if you know what I mean.
I do know what you mean. I think it may be because the pain makes us not see things as they really are. Does that make sense? I think I am doing the best i can do and like you when I look at it later, it is not good at all. When we are in constant pain, we learn to keep moving but we are too tried to think straight.
I would drive to work and work all day, drive home and never remember driving home. It was at that point I knew I had to quit work.