mothers who cant

The headlines on www.haaretz.com today brought some more sad news

a mother had drowned her 4 year old son in the ocean

she was an immigrant from Russia

another child, also a 4 year old called Rose, is missing and the mother

and the mother's lover, the child's biological grandfather are suspected in the disappearing , the child seems to have been beaten , the mother is an immigrant from France..

The Jewish mother has always had such a reputation and now this ..

first of all the mothers in question both emigrated from another country

may have had a lot to deal with

still how do mothers get to the point where they injure their children and kill them ?

I recall the case of a mother in the USA who killed her small sons and then staged a kidnapping, appeared on the news begging the alleged kidnappers to return her sons then it turned out she was seeking to be with her lover and the children stood in her way, or so she thought..

how can a mother do that to her own children?

Not to mention the mother in Texas who drowned all her children in a bath tub

children are supposed to be our future,

they are the best parts of us

and hope for a better future

Sometimes i get angry at my children and am disappointed,

my children can get angry at me and say things that hurt my feelings

however i realize when they sleep that they are the better and improved version of their parents

whatever i did wrong in my life, i hope they will do better

i hope they will appreciate themselves, and find their direction in life

that they grow up to be contributing citizens wherever they live,

interact well with others, form bonds and relationships with other human beings,

be kind and generous

sensitive to others and seek to give more than to get

i hope my children will be the sort of people who make others feel good to be around them

During divorce court the father of my children had said what a great soccer player my son would be or could be with the right coaching

i said that we are not training for the olympics, i would like to add that for me

the most important goal is what president Truman said parents do for society

to raise children that are humane, that care about others,

and contribute to their surrounding

i hope my children will have good values to be kind to others

to treat others as they would like to be treated themselves

to be kind to those weaker than they are

to other children , people, animals

to appreciate nature

and to build rather than destroy

Having raised children in a less than ideal environment;

a foreign country, no relatives or friends i can depend on

i would like to encourage any parent who feels burned out, stressed out

to seek help, to talk about difficulties, to discuss and deal with difficult issues rather than sweep them under the carpet

and to forgive yourself

Every time i watch animals and their young

i feel i have so much to learn

they have their priorities right

so when my small son calls me and i really want to read the paper

or write

i say, coming, i leave the computer and realize

what is important

yes, i have a need to read, write, have a life of my own

but without my children

what would be the point of living ?

what would be the goal and aim of life?

My children challenge me often,  at times they make me question why i ever thought i could parent    but despite the difficulties they are my second chance

to correct the past by building the future

to give what i would have wanted to have

and to be what i wanted to be

my own person

they will be who they will be

i will not have full control over that

but i do hope that they are able to express their feelings, and to sense when they have hurt another human being or animal and to feel regret and to try to fix , repair and better themselves.

I hope my children realize that life is a process , filled with pain and joy

and that once we take responsibility for our actions

we can do so much

to make the world a better place

love is not a slogan it is a verb

it is a doing being thing

i hope i can teach and learn more in the future

i hope i can teach and do more in the present

and that the past will remain the past

I hope more parents turn for help and realize when they might be placing their children in danger either by their own actions or that of anyone they are in a relationship with .