Underwear Revolution

I am starting an underwear revolution!

I am starting with my mother!  (My poor mom would probably die if she knew I was writing this!)

Over the years, I have reformed and revolutionized my mother’s make-up and wardrobe, but I’ve never been able to move her away from the granny panties.

Years ago she wore that white raccoon make-up around her eyes and silver eye shadow.  She wore it when it was cool, but she kept wearing it after it stopped being cool.  For years.  Over time, I convinced her of how much better she would look without it.  It was a crutch.

Then I convinced her that the spider-eye mascara was really not as attractive as her fun-house mirror apparently made her think it was.  I taught her the wonders of an eyelash comb and she looks so beautiful and so much younger with the make-up reform.  More than that, she feels better about herself.

Then we moved to her wardrobe.  My mom has pretty good taste, but she has fallen victim to some of the evils out there.

I have slowly, with the help of Stacy and Clinton, convinced her to toss the sweaters with novelties on the front.  You know what I am talking about.  The Christmas tree nightmares and the embroidered floral disasters.

Granted I cannot completely take these things from her.  She still has a sweater or two with some American flags or whatnot, but I would say we have removed at least 90 percent of these.

We can’t forget the oversized down-to-the-crotch shirts that she wore to cover her ass which really only make the ass look bigger.  She never wore t-shirts, I am talking knit or sweater tops, which get even more stretched out over wear.

I am not completely done reforming her wardrobe.  She unfortunately is not entirely convinced, though she is close, that wearing a sweater with a 4-inch bleach stain on the sleeve to the grocery store, even under her coat, is unacceptable.  I mean, really, what would Stacy and Clinton say?

Now I am reforming her underwear collection.

She, like so many women in her age bracket, and some not in her age bracket, have become comfortable with the granny panties.  Yes, I imagine that wearing a tent to cover you from navel to lower hip would be comfortable.  However, it is not at all attractive...Continue Reading