New Camera Experience

  I bought a new camera. I went and bought the latest issue of Shutterbug magazine, started thumbing through and there it was, Trouble, Trouble with a capital "T". I read the article, looked at the photos, checked out the specs. I went online, and double checked the price at Best Buy, Fry's and Ultimate Electronics.

  My palms began to sweat, a pounding in my ears, and the shakes. Oh God, the shakes! Like an addict looking for that next fix, but no dealer around. It was sixty-five miles to drive to Vegas in this condition. My vision was blurring, my head pounding. No way was a drive into Vegas going to work.

  I punched keys on the computer, missing most. This is taking too much time! I grabbed my car keys, stumbling to the garage. Wally World was the answer! In a small town Wal-Mart can save an addict. Fumbling with the keys, I inserted the keys with difficulty. A stab of pain as the radio blared with a right wing talk show host, my favorite, but not now. The pain was too great, sweat stinging my eyes.

  I managed to pull into the parking lot with only a few curious glances at the obviously demented fiend I had become. The greeter gave me a look as if security was going to be needed, fear clouding the eyes of this dumpy senior citizen. He had seen my type before in New York, or Florida, knowing I was in need of a fix.

  People stepped out of my way, fear on their faces. Mothers grabbed their daughters, seniors clutched their prescriptions. I stumbled, I staggered, and I wept as racking agony gripped me as I approached the camera counter. People stepped away as I approached and the sales lady looked as if she wanted to run.

  I lunged at the counter, vertigo gripped me, grasping the only solid object available, I gasped "Camera!"

  "Which one?" she asked.

  "Canon... EOS... XSi."

  She went to the display, hands shaking, and opened the glass partition. Handing me the box I felt a wave of relief. Warmth filled every pore of my body. My breathing evened out, the shaking of the hands steadied. The pain of the muscles eased, becoming only a memory. I handed her my VISA card. She still shook, even though she had witnessed the transformation back to sanity.

  I still received some strange looks as I departed the store. Sweat still soaked my shirt, beads still on my brow. Even so, I walked out erect, calm, and the proud owner of a new camera.

  Then I had to wait for the damned battery to charge!