So true. I always live by the number one rule, "Judge not, lest ye be judged." I know what it's like to be considered one way, when I'm the complete opposite. You never know a person, until you walk a mile in their shoes.
I live by the rule that Angela stated although I've never been perfect enough to obtain complete cessation of judgement. Every time i make progress humankind displays its penchance for kicking the bizarre up a notch. To prove my point: the 1,000 pound lady in Houston who bashed int he head of her two-year old nephew; I want her gone.
But, John, I do try. And I am mostly unconcerned about being judged. Except by God; now that will be a scary day. And I don't want to steal your thread but I would like to share just one piece I wrote and ten I'll depart. (I will depart to go wreck havoc on your other byte... lol)
Be careful what you say of the beggar as he rambles down the street Can you testify as to his ill-fortune or place his shoes upon your feet Think before you utter a slur, meant for that lady of the night Can you explain the load she carries or the sorrows within her sight.
Don't laugh at the man who is down on his luck unless you can laugh at what you've lost Don't add to the burden of his shame if you don't intend to bear his cost And do not condemn those who do wrong or announce their wrongs for all to view Unless you have walked a perfect life with a heart sinless and so true.
And what of he who is beaten and broke could you endure his pain If instead of that down-trodden soul it was yourself standing in the rain "Judge not, lest ye be judged" is the message these words are trying to make For as you give up on the rest of the world it may be you that the Lord forsakes.
----------------------------------------------------------------- For he shall have judgment without mercy, that hath shewed no mercy; and mercy rejoiceth against judgment. (Jas 2:13)
True words. Let he without sin cast the first stone. Until people accept who they are and accept others as they are, world peace will not happen. Peace
One of my fav comebacks is Judge not lest ye be judged. I was reared in a church of people that believed their mirror reflected life perfect. Good post. . . when you point, the other three fingers nail you.
"You never know a person, until you walk a mile in their shoes." Once you know them, if you don't like them, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.
Seriously, judging comes easily and needs to be discouraged. None of us is without sin.
You must never stop writing John, 'cause absolutes are not always reached simultaneously; if that were the case, there would appear to be no point in continuing, however thank goodness for subjectivity in human nature. Have a great day!
If I know when people judge me that they are just enjoying the judging I can relax. So I have no need to judge because I know how useless it is and it has no enjoyment for me.
John I will play the role of devil's advocate here. Being able to make a rational conclusion about someone is not the same thing as fearing that one is inadequate. Unexamined decisions are just irrational, uncontrolled outbursts. Decisions based on superficial qualities fall under this, but carefully weighed conclusions based on actions do not.
If your statement is pre-judgment than I concur 100%, but I will not sacrifice reason to some soft ,fluffy notion of equality. Everyday with every action we take we decide where our character lies in the spectrum.
You probably can't stop until then but many of us never stop even then. I'm judged a lot, but I don't give a crap. I stand in judgement a lot, too but those I judge usually don't care either.
Mary, you make a good point. I consider "criticism" as balanced feedback for the purpose of informing (e.g. do I want to see this movie) or for improvement/learning — though I realize this is not the common interpretation most people have for this term.
Judging myself implies I give myself a score and that can have negative consequences.
How much do you risk when you know you are being judged
or one of the operative words in this Byte that has been hardly touched on is "concerned" over being judged.
John if I can't judge myself with the same eye, then I can't judge others. I see the trap you've laid, but without it we're all bordering on becoming the Unibomber.
The goal is create the image in the mirror you want to see. For lying to yourself is the worst offense.
I think of "judging" in a completely different way. A society obviously has to have to some standards or morals, and if someone within that society does not, then that's when judgment comes in. We can't say nothing anybody ever does will be wrong. Everybody can't just do whatever they want, whenever they want. Judging in this broader societal sense, if you will, is most often a good thing. For example, you could say that we judge a person when we give him or her a trial in a court of law before sentencing him or her. You're not saying we shouldn't punish criminals, are you?
I can replace judging with the word bologna, the word itself itself is irrelevant. Perhaps I've gotten on the wrong track. But if the intended route is self-acceptance that begins with honest appraisal. Are you going somewhere else?
I'm with Vivian--you have to look upon things with a critical eye -sometimes- but not just to put yourself or others down. Criticism can be positive as well as negative.
John I never said critical, and I suspect Beaker did not intend the negative connotation that the word implies, of course Beaker is more than capable of speaking for herself. That said I was discussing assessment.
Poor self-esteem is not derived from outside voices, but the one inside of you. That is why lying to oneself is so damaging. To not be able to look in the mirror is the problem.
I think we are dancing around agreement, but from different angles. My judgment of others is separate from my acceptance of them.
I reached this plateau several years ago when I realized I was 50 and had to at least pretend to act my age - lol - but by then I had met my husband and he was not judgemental toward me so I quit fighting myself over this aspect of life. He loves me and I don't have to beat myself up over presumed defects - love is liberating and was eminently so for me. I watch the People's Court anytime I feel I need to be judgemental - I sit at home and decide whether Judge Millian is being a diva or a jurist and become astounded at the cases she is asked to preside over.
Generally, most of my judging is about other people's art and they ask me to do it. In other cases, it is the heat of the moment. ---- "That SOB is an ass who got his driver's license in a Wheaties box.."
I'll have to check my planner and see if I'm "Judge Of The Day!" Seriously, when it comes to judging others, we all should lighten up. Now, we don't necessarily have to buy into what the other is doing, or how they are living, but we can be more tolerant.
"Judge not ..." is the ideal, but I often find that a judgement jumps out of the box before I can get the lid on. I will continue to try to ride herd on them. Thanks for your good reminder.
I guess I am taking this thing too seriously, because I just can't see how a human being with a working mind could get away without ever judging anybody (at least inside their own mind). I mean, you can keep you judgment to yourself and not say it out loud, but could you really abstain from all judgment of others althogether? I'm not sure you can, even if you want to. It is just a part of our psyches as human beings.
Yes, I believe that it is South Pacific (among lots of other places ) that suggests that we are taught to look down on others. It is not part of our natural humanity.
Of course Oxnard throws a bit of a wrench in when she says "abstain from all judgement."
Anytime we use words like "all, every, none" we have a different kind of discussion.
Thanks for the thought byte, John! I used to be quite judgmental until my priest/confessor enabled me to see the danger and harm I could cause. Now I strive to never judge the person and to try to understand their actions. Not being judgmental has given me a great deal of freedom, including not being concerned with how other people judge me - I just treat everyone as one of God's children.
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I know what it's like to be considered one way, when I'm the complete opposite.
You never know a person, until you walk a mile in their shoes.
And, if you did Angela. you probably wouldn't judge them.
Well ... maybe depending on what the shoes looked like :)
Good for you.
But, John, I do try. And I am mostly unconcerned about being judged. Except by God; now that will be a scary day. And I don't want to steal your thread but I would like to share just one piece I wrote and ten I'll depart. (I will depart to go wreck havoc on your other byte... lol)
© 2000 Robert C Burnham
Be careful what you say of the beggar
as he rambles down the street
Can you testify as to his ill-fortune
or place his shoes upon your feet
Think before you utter a slur, meant for that
lady of the night
Can you explain the load she carries or
the sorrows within her sight.
Don't laugh at the man who is down on his luck
unless you can laugh at what you've lost
Don't add to the burden of his shame
if you don't intend to bear his cost
And do not condemn those who do wrong
or announce their wrongs for all to view
Unless you have walked a perfect life
with a heart sinless and so true.
And what of he who is beaten and broke
could you endure his pain
If instead of that down-trodden soul
it was yourself standing in the rain
"Judge not, lest ye be judged" is the message
these words are trying to make
For as you give up on the rest of the world
it may be you that the Lord forsakes.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
For he shall have judgment without
mercy, that hath shewed no mercy;
and mercy rejoiceth against judgment.
(Jas 2:13)
Seriously, judging comes easily and needs to be discouraged. None of us is without sin.
I've always felt when you reach absolute veracity it is the time to stop writing.
Or are you trying to tell me something? :)
You had a good teacher, Jenn.
(By the way, it is not my thread, it is our thread.)
Well said, Kimber. Judging others is an indication you are uncomfortable with parts of yourself.
Unless you want to be judged, Vic, which is another aspect of this Byte.
Deborah, I used to have a mirror like that.
I like "when you point, the other three fingers nail you."
Thanks.
Jan, it comes easily because we are taught the technique.
Fo some reason, Zeno's Paradox comes to mind.
You have a great day as well.
Or, put another way, would I lie to you?
Thanks.
If your statement is pre-judgment than I concur 100%, but I will not sacrifice reason to some soft ,fluffy notion of equality. Everyday with every action we take we decide where our character lies in the spectrum.
Rest easy
And they are not lessons in the sense of do this or do that or right or wrong.
They are offered more in the sense of here's something to chew on you may find valuable within your experience.
Sometimes people get entrenched in their judging behavior.
Especially when thrown into a room with those young whippersnappers.
I do not mean to imply "equality." I mean judging yourself.
Judging myself implies I give myself a score and that can have negative consequences.
How much do you risk when you know you are being judged
or one of the operative words in this Byte that has been hardly touched on is "concerned" over being judged.
The goal is create the image in the mirror you want to see. For lying to yourself is the worst offense.
That doesn't mean you aren't aware of what is gong on —in fact, you would be more aware — nor that what you observe doesn't effect what you do.
Thanks.
I can replace judging with the word bologna, the word itself itself is irrelevant. Perhaps I've gotten on the wrong track. But if the intended route is self-acceptance that begins with honest appraisal. Are you going somewhere else?
For me it's tied in with self-esteem, among other things.
What if I replaced the word critical with "accepting?"
Poor self-esteem is not derived from outside voices, but the one inside of you. That is why lying to oneself is so damaging. To not be able to look in the mirror is the problem.
I think we are dancing around agreement, but from different angles. My judgment of others is separate from my acceptance of them.
I agree with your statement about self-esteem and would dd that sometimes the inside voice listens to the outside voices.
While not the main thrust of this Byte, I would suggest (and do in other Bytes) that judging has some negative consequences to the judge.
I like the idea that whenever one feels the urge they can turn to the TV for a little dose of judging. Any cable news channel will suffice. :)
As you wish.
Rest easy
The other is what I'd call "reflex judgement" that I find interesting but I'm not sure I understand the mechanism at work there.
The take away: GIVE UP RESENTMENT TOWARDS EVERYONE. It it the soul food on which all jugment thrives.
There is an alternative to judging and that is "accepting." Not easy, but worthwhile to aspire to move in that direction.
Non-judging is an important part of many Eastern spiritual practices.
Of course Oxnard throws a bit of a wrench in when she says "abstain from all judgement."
Anytime we use words like "all, every, none" we have a different kind of discussion.
No one said it was simple -- or easy. :)
Blaine, I give you permission to continue with this particular judgement.
I used to be quite judgmental until my priest/confessor enabled me to see the danger and harm I could cause. Now I strive to never judge the person and to try to understand their actions. Not being judgmental has given me a great deal of freedom, including not being concerned with how other people judge me - I just treat everyone as one of God's children.
The former gives one energy, the latter sucks it up.