Fred turns up for golf with his regular foursome, and on the first tee proudly tees up a hot pink golf ball. His mates all make incredulous noises along the lines of no self-respecting man using pink balls etc.
Fred says "Wait, you don't understand; this is no ordinary golf ball. That color makes it impossible to lose".
"Garbage," says Bill, or words to that effect. "I've been in spots where that would never be seen again."
"Well, in those situations," says Fred, "this ball has direction finding equipment; it emits a loud beep and you just follow the sound until you find it".
This shuts the boys up for a minute till George says "OK smart alec, what about hitting it in the water?"
"Ah, says Fred, that's where it really comes into its own. Its flotation device takes it to the surface, where radio waves sense the nearest bank, and solar powered cells propel it there. You just pick it up and keep playing."
There is a long silence. Finally Harry says in awe, "That's amazing Fred. Where did you get it?"
"I found it," said Fred.
There was a man who worked the night desk at the local FBI office. The office received a lot of misdialed calls, because their number was similar to a local pizza restaurant.
One night he answered the phone, "FBI."
When the caller hesitated, he said, "You meant to call Dominoes..."
The caller exclaimed "WOW! You guys really DO know everything!"
The son came home from school and asked his father, "Today I learned that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.
Dad replied, "That happens in most countries, son."