Labor Day weekend is a good time to catch up on your culture. Of course, you can go to the Sausalito Art Festival (SAF) — voted the best in the country since, well, forever — or you can opt for a change: come to my house and attend My Art Festival (MAF).
Let’s compare the two choices:
ADMISSION: No contest here. SAF costs $20 unless you’re over 62 or under 12. MAF admission is (are you sitting down?) FREE.
NOTE: SAF doesn’t charge for children under six. However, because MAF is held in my private home, I require a $1,000 deposit for any children under six —and only children that have been potty-trained, please.
PARKING: There is no charge for MAF parking, although for snob appeal, I’m offering VIP parking in my driveway for the first two cars at $5.00. The SAF can cost you up to $20 dollars to park depending on what shape you and your walking shoes are in.
DRINKS: The SAF is somewhat limited in its beverage menu. Unless you like to taste fine wines from Napa Valley, you’re limited to champagne, margaritas or beer. MAF has unlimited beverage choices — as I don’t have a liquor license, you bring your own. I will provide FREE paper cups so patrons of MAF can easily share each other’s beverages.
MUSIC: At the SAF your listening is limited to a top singing act or quality chamber or folk music. Once again, MAF wins, having unlimited musical entertainment with my patented BYOM system. I provide a CD player and you carry your own tunes.
(This years Poster)
WEATHER: SAF can have cold rainy days or hot sweltering days. Sparing no expense, my house is CLIMATE-CONTROLLED for my patrons’ comfort. (I’m paying for the HVAC anyway, so it’s literally no expense.)
What, you may ask, about the ART? Okay, here the SAF has a slight edge, but that’s just because this is only MAF’s second year. SAF has over 20,000 original works of art. I have twelve, ten of which are copies and the others are limited edition etchings. However, I have high-speed Internet on which you can see ANY art ever created at the click of a mouse.
CROWDS & LINES: Over one million visitors have attended the Sausalito Art Festival since 1952. Last year, MAF had four. You do the math.
KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN: I’m just a few blocks from SAF. You can park your car free, visit MAF and then amble over to the Sausalito Art Festival once you’d had your fill of my cultural offerings. I’ll be happy to sell you my address for only $39.95. No stamps, please.
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Serious Note: The Sausalito Art Festival, which starts this Saturday and continues through Monday September 1, is voted the best outdoor art festival in America. The entertainment is phenomenal (think Neville Brothers as just one example).
I am captain of Beer Booth #3 on Monday — just to the right of the main stage. Mention you have a gather account and, for only $6, I will personally pour you a nice cold beer and extend a hearty handshake.
Check it out at: The Sausalito Art Festival.
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Comments: 163
Based on last years attendance — NO LINES.
All the food booths are run by local organizations like the Lyons, churches, day school, etc. For most it is their biggest fundraising event of the year.
Not too tough for the artists who get accepted either. Last year they sold over $4.4 million dollars of art.
But now I have to kick it up a notch since sadness has come upon me this weekend. Not only will it be my camping spot; it is where I will come to die. My zest for living has waned. But look on the bright side; after my passing, you can inject me with formaldehyde, pose me as you see fit and prop me up as official exhibit number 3 for MAF number 3 next year. My check for your location is in the mail.
You have to cross the palm of the owner with silver semolians.
I think I should go to bed.
Bathrooms...I believe that the whole world would be more peaceful if every person had his or her own bathroom. It certainly keeps things peaceful here!
Hope you will be giving a post-fair run down of both festivals. I'll be looking forward to reading about them. Also the Slow Food festival is that weekend.
I'd be happy to accept gatherart for the MAF. But, seriously, you can do both. The Sausalito version is a ten-minute walk from MAF.
The Cowboy Caricature
But please don't exhibit it in one of the 2 1/2 baths, any place else in your mansion will suffice nicley, until I arrive in person.
If I do a rundown it will be of the humorous kind so won't have too much to do with the art itself. But I'm sure the San Francisco Chronicle and Marin Independent Journal websites will have more serious articles.
Thanks for reminding me: I started a column about "slow food" some months ago and forgot about it.
Hell, the whole damn town is on a hill.
It is not bathroom worthy so you are safe there.
John, California IS the land of dreams....
"Oh, Barkeep!"
"Man, you give a guy 2.5 baths and he thinks he owns his own post!"
Have a drink of BYOB and think of me.
And I got views of the synchronised swimming I wouldn't have got poolside.
Enjoy the SAF.
In my defense, it's a rental.
Nancy, I was wondering when someone would pick up on that.
Beverly, there are a lot of competing events over Labor Day and I think the AFs have it.
Commander Cody is another music act at SAF this year.
Put on some Neville Brothers, tune to the public broadcast channel and open a frosty Fosters (unless you mates like yours room temperature).
Thanks, Donna. As I understand it the White House may have even more than 2 1/2 baths.
And a surprise Vice Presidential candidate will be announced in the near future.
Djon, I', waiting ...
However, an Irish festival is great by definition.
Rest easy
Any one who brings their own plastic cup is more than welcome.
(Re: transportation,. I notice a lot of artists come from quite far away with a trainer or a rental truck. Just saying.)
Be quite a coup for the MAF.
How about a couple 'slimmer samoans" instead.
Anyway, isn't slimmer samoan an oxymoron?
Seriously, SAF sounds like fun - maybe too big for my taste, but fun. Thanks for the heads up.
I'd suggest one of those electronic keyboards.
Remember Samson?
I'd love to sell you a beer at MAF but we do not have a license — nor are we likely to get one.
Not if you starve them in your basement for a few months. Oh, today I'm being cynical.
As far as financial advice goes, there should be some collectible Euros printed soon - complete with a portrait of Obama. Yep, being cynical...
Great work John as always, this story is featured on Gather Essentials: Writing
Thanks for the Feature.
I have been to Coral Gables art festival, which was a lot of fun.
Maybe Elsie could display her "John for President tattoo" at the MAF, better yet SAF - you know, the 'local boy makes good' angle. Muah Ha Ha
~E
Who talks to Elsie about it?