Did you write a book? Have a longer story that isn't getting the reads you want? Give us the first paragraph and a link. Can You hook us into reading more?
This is inspired by Aaron LaZaar's Saturday Writing Essential from yesterday about "hooks." All authors, but I think especially independent or self published authors have to have a really good opening paragraph in order to sell to a potential reader to keep going. So I invite here all Independent, Small Press, Medium Press -- heck even you bigwigs from Harper-Collins to display the opening paragraph of your book. Hyperlink to your sales page if you see fit.
My opening paragraph to No Sensible People is this
Daddy died in one of those freak tractor accidents you think only happens in the movies. I was out playing with the chickens, and I heard the horses and cows go loopy. When I looked out toward the wheat field, the tractor wasn't facing normal, and Daddy wasn't in the driver's seat anymore. I was nine and a half, and Mama never asked how I felt about the whole mess. She went on and on about how the wheat harvest was cursed and the tractor possessed. Father Oliver had arranged for a couple older boys from church to get a couple days off school to come out to the farm to help take care of the field and the animals until Mama could decide what she wanted to do. But before the boys came, Mama had a favor to ask Taffy. She and Daddy called him Denny, but I called him Taffy. He brought me saltwater taffy nearly every time he came out to the farm. Only Mama had been frantic when she called him, and he didn't bring me any that day.
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Comments: 15
The best hook I ever wrote (at least in my opinion) was the first line for a short story in my book Inside Realms:
"I used to be mortal."
My personal preference is for reading is when a story begins with action and dialogue. I think stories move more quickly when writers keep descriptions short and allow the characters' actions and words to supply information to the reader.
Descriptive writing earns writers good grades. A gripping or teasing beginning earns them readers.
For example. The King died, then the Queen died.
This is how a lot of unpublished books read.
That is a story line but not a plot.
Plot: The King died, then the Queen died. Of grief.
A person could begin to write a story based on the first story line, but chances are, they would begin chronologically. Ho hum.
But, by developing an actual PLOT first, a writer has a much better chance of where to begin.
Beginning to write, the writer could write an INITIAL HOOK -
After the King died, Queen Sheryne was stricken with grief. Not only that, she refused to eat, ceased taking care of herself, and let her gardens go. She locked herself in her private chambers. Her staff worried sick about her. Night and day, they attempted to convince Queen Sheryne to unlock the doors, to open the draperies and let in the sun, to take nourishment and to begin to warm herself with the loving touch of human kindness.
Now, that is the beginning of a HOOK.
Reading on, the reader wants to know more.
But Queen Sheryne would not open the door. Days turned into weeks, and her staff knew time was running out. Queen Sheryne would soon die if she did not eat. The Queen's head lady, Milady Bridget,hatched a plan to save the Queen's life. But would Milady Bridget succeed in time?
Now, you have the beginning of a plot, not just a storyline.
After finishing the draft, you go back and revise the hook.
Many unpublished books fail because they have a story line not plot, have a weak hook, and the writing is flat.
Your article is Featured in the Triple Name Club.
"I was struggling to get a good basic guitar track down on a new song that I was planning to try out that night, and it wasn't going very well, and time was running out, and I was getting more and more frustrated by the moment."
http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?memberId=246316&articleId=281474977090546&nav=MyGather
How about this.
Sylvia lost her battle with the tears as they streamed down her face. She gave up caring. It didn't matter anymore, now that Hal was dead nothing mattered anymore. She was able to hold back the sob but not the tulmut of thoughts streaming through her mind as she watched the pallbearers lift the bronze casket and start down the aisle.
Being the only son of one of the most powerful Dukes of the realm could be awfully tedious at times, Brandon decided, as he stared distractedly into his freshly poured brandy from the side board of his father's library.
This had been his third glass in over an hour after realizing he would need all the liquid fortification he could stand in order to be able to continue to listen as his father the Duke of Wesley droned on about his duty of producing an heir for about the thousandth instance in his lifetime.
While his lordship remained safely ensconced in his throne on the opposite side of the room from him and doled out his usual demands, Brandon became so bored that his mind drifted to his closest friend Gregory Hughes the son of the Earl of Rochester who would be at this time waiting patiently for him to play a round of cards at White's.
Gregory with his deep brown hair and silvery grey eyes always sparkling with mirth exuded so much charm that every lady of his acquaintance chased him with the equal fervor that caused them to cling to the hope that the prince regent himself would garner them one ounce of his own favor.
But to the chagrin of his Gregory's long suffering aunt Agatha his friend refused to be caught in any debutante's matrimonial web. In that respect, he and Gregory were of like minds.
"Brandon hullo!.. Brandon are you listening to me?"