Vanity vs. Reality

I have never thought I was a particularly beautiful woman. I think I have my good points -- nice legs, sincere smile, decent nail beds -- but I'm definitely no traffic-stopping supermodel. However, you want to know what's really embarrassing? I think I've spent much of my adult life secretly thinking that if only I lost weight, I would be.

I've never been hugely overweight, but many years have gone by where I've paid little attention to my health: drinking too much, eating crappy food, not exercising. I've carried an extra 20 pounds or so for a long time, and I realize now that while I wasn't happy with the way I looked, I also had some unrealistic expectations for what I might look like with it gone.

My scale reads 128 pounds these days. I suppose at 5'5" it's certainly not a Hollywood-approved weight, but it's about where I hoped I could get to when it hovered around 150. I suspect I thought that at this weight, I would emerge from my previously untoned, flabby self and like that -- poof! -- I'd be magazine-gorgeous.

Well, it's true I am happier with the image in the mirror, but the magical transformation did not occur. My face did not smooth out into some airbrushed, younger version of myself. My less heavy frame did not re-distribute its dimensions into an eye-popping Jessica Alba-esque va-va-va-VOOM topography of curves and concavity. My nose didn't shrink; my teeth didn't whiten; my boobs, if anything, succumbed even more sorrowfully to gravity's pull.

I look like me, only healthier. Stronger.

At 34 years old, I guess I'm finally starting to learn that the real benefits of a healthy lifestyle have less to do with vanity, and more to do with how it makes you feel. Sure, I have more fun trying on clothes these days, but more important than that, my energy is increased, my mood is happier, my confidence in what I can achieve is higher than ever before. When I work out, my hair all sweaty and my face a red, mottled mess, I feel like Superwoman -- even though I look like something the cat dragged in (and horked up in the corner).

Being fit didn't change me in the ways that I'd hoped. Instead, I got something bigger, more meaningful and rewarding. I doubt I'll ever stop nitpicking the faults I find in my appearance, but sometimes I can stop and drop-kick that self-doubting voice to the curb. After all, now I've got the muscles to do so.

Living a balanced life - it's easier than you think! And there are some small changes you can make each day to make a big difference. Read weekly articles in Balanced Living about eating better, and share your own tips for balanced living. Click here to join the group to stay updated and to publishyour own content.

 

 

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