s a lot to do with a person being okay with themselves.The main problem affecting those who are on the receiving end of a dumping is they suddenly have issues with their self esteem and translate the actions of their ex as being the general feelings of the rest of the population.
Remember, when one hears those piercing words..."I want to break up..." feelings of desperation and panic will follow and this is a dangerous time for the person spurned paticularly if they have a deep desire to get back with their ex.
So what can someone spurned do? Well, T W Jackson makes the point in The Magic Of Making Up that the best course of action is to agree with the break up, tell your ex you were even thinking about it for sometime yourself and then just take time out.
This is a difficult strategy for many in this position to grasp but there is method in the madness. Most will think they are literally throwing their relationship away if they take this course of action.
But handling a relationship break up needs to start with a positive move from you and while you may not think so at the time, this is a positive move. What you don't want to do is stick around and argue or try to make your ex see that they are making a big mistake.
More to the point, you don't want to threaten them with any statement that contain the words "or else" in them. Just agree and walk away.
Time For An Assessment Of Your Relationship
This time should be dedicated to analyzing your relationship in a very objective way. By agreeing with the break up, you have got your ex thinking about the way you reacted. Even if you're reading this sometime after being dumped you can still drop them a note or make a phone call and reiterate your position.
By analyzing, we mean looking at the good and bad things about your relationship. Make a list and be very honest with yourself. Think back to when you first met and what attracted you to your former partner. Think what attracted them to you.
Then make a thorough analysis of your findings and weigh up the negative aspects against the positives. If the negatives far outweigh the positives then there are two things you need to ask yourself - can you turn things around and if not, why would you want your ex back?
This is going to take some doing on your part because right now you'd probably take them back under any circumstances. But what's the point if the same thing is likely to happen down the track.
As Jackson puts it in The Magic Of Making Up, this is all about being okay with yourself and realizing your world won't disappear if you don't go back. And more importantly, be careful not to want to go back just for convenience sake.
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