by Chana M.
Member since:
June 6, 2008

The Whimsical Humours Of A Place Less Known

August 19, 2008 07:03 PM EDT (Updated: May 30, 2009 08:32 PM EDT)
views: 116 | rating: 10/10 (18 votes) | comments: 23

You haunt me
I loosen my bearings
Day becomes night
I take The Trane to another place
Cool breezes surround me
I see a ray of hope in front of me
There is attraction in this place
The whimsical humours of a place less known
The familiarity of a much loved tale
You fill up an empty hole
Night becomes day
You turn away

© JACM 30 May 2009

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Comments: 23

DIANE D. Aug 19, 2008, 7:26pm EDT
Thiis is WONDERFUL!
Anne W. Aug 19, 2008, 7:31pm EDT
VERY VERY good!
Anne W. Aug 19, 2008, 7:31pm EDT
Thank you for posting to Point Whore! Wishing everyone many, many points!
Pie S. Aug 19, 2008, 7:35pm EDT
Very nice!
Michelle T. Aug 19, 2008, 8:21pm EDT
Great! I like it!
Kerrell g. Aug 19, 2008, 8:37pm EDT
W O N D E R F U L !
Rebecca [Future Teacher] Aug 19, 2008, 8:48pm EDT
Great poem and well written!
Thomas W. Aug 20, 2008, 12:28am EDT
again...that stir...
Thomas W. Aug 20, 2008, 12:30am EDT
something is niggling at my gut in these. -is it that you're voicing simple (and universal) things...

...or Something Else?

i'll revisit this soon.
Janie E. Aug 20, 2008, 1:11am EDT
Love this!!! 10!!!
Paidra Delayno Aug 20, 2008, 3:19am EDT
Very nice, Chana.
Chris Brockman Aug 20, 2008, 8:59am EDT
Dreamy! I like your allusion to Trane. Are you familiar with this wonderful poem by Michael Stillman:

In Memoriam John Coltrane

Listen to the coal
rolling, rolling through the cold
steady rain, wheel on

wheel, listen to the
turning of the wheels this night
black as coal dust, steel

on steel, listen to
these cars carry coal, listen
to the caol train roll.
Rachael G. Aug 20, 2008, 1:02pm EDT
Very nice. A 10 for you.
Lisa Frost Aug 20, 2008, 5:10pm EDT
Such are the tides of life as they swing by. Very good.
Dan H. Aug 21, 2008, 12:02am EDT
Thank You For Posting To:
http://friendsofdanh.gather.com.
Our goal is to help you further your exposure and to support other gather members.
Doug H. Aug 21, 2008, 7:00pm EDT
Very nice, but such a sad ending. At least the 'Trane blew a breeze of cool jazz through the night.
Diane "stormyz" B. Aug 22, 2008, 5:29am EDT
Here's a 10 for you!! Thank you for posting this to the Gimme 10!!! Group
Well done.
Randall C. Aug 23, 2008, 5:25pm EDT
Chana. I would love to be that ray of hope.
to make you smile again,
to enlighten your day,
to see you glimer,
like a shining star.
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Aug 26, 2008, 7:25pm EDT
I enjoyed this very much. You are very good Chana!
Glome . . . Sep 3, 2008, 9:49pm EDT
Woo woo ... listen to Randall. Your poetry is enchanting Chana. We'll need to tie Randall to the mast :)
Shelbia C. Sep 27, 2008, 9:06pm EDT
I really like this one
Elizabeth S. Dec 14, 2008, 4:10pm EST
Okay, I'm a little confused. I thought the Trane must be some literary reference I didn't recognize. Then another comment made it sound like it was simply a train. Search engine didn't help with Trane, but I didn't pursue it past the first page.
Anyway, enjoyed the poem both ways.

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