The Tail of Bessie; Wilma's Deception: Part Two

It was 3 a.m. and Marge, soon to be elected president of her Neighborhood Watch Program, was acting vigilantly waiting for a phone call to see if anyone needed tucking in. Bessie had decided to seek fortune and fame (no matter how short lived) and wanted to say goodbye to Marge. Wilma, knowing this could ruin everything was quick on her feet, 'Marge might be tucking in little Peety Swanson because his nightlight burnt out.' Bessie, having a McCain moment, did not question how Wilma knew this. Wilma continued, ‘We don't want to wake up Russ, do we? Let me call Marge on my cell.' Wilma actually called herself and waited, then told Bessie, 'Marge must be reading The Joan Stories to little Peety.' She looked at Bessie and said, ‘It's now or never, kid. I might have to take Chloe, although she is not as udderly fabulous as you. It would be a shame to see a lesser cow get the starring role.'

‘Chloe!!! Chloe!!!' Bessie was letting her vanity show (good sign for Hollywood, but Tacoma?) as she continued, 'She looks like she hasn't been brushed in a month and have you noticed how she stumbles and falls down a lot?' Bessie then grabbed her bag and told Wilma, 'Lead the way.' Soon Wilma and Bessie were sitting back watching 'What Not To Wear' on TV in the boxcar of a train rumbling through the early morning hours to where 'Tailgate Party' stars are: Well, not born, but... Let's just say Andy Warhol was spot on about 10 minutes of fame. Wilma explained there would be a period of training before Bessie could take the giant step forward. Bessie asked about her star contract. Wilma said, ‘At first you get basic pay, but after your first leap, our marketing department will decide the best roast, I mean role, for you to play. I give you my word you will be part of each marketing decision.'

Few have seen Wilma's training facilities, but they are state of deco art. All of her cows play mock beauty contests walking up and down a trail that looks just like the real one used for the 'The Leap of Fame' aka 'Barbecue Heaven.' None of the cows understood why they were strictly required to walk up the fake trail with their eyes closed, but Wilma promised each cow would find out after their first live performance. It just so happens that Russell M 'The Fence Sitter' from California, where cows are happy, was installing a fence when he first saw Bessie. He remembered his first kiss given by a girl that looked just like Bessie, October 31, 1972. He also thought Bessie was udderly fantastic. Russell was also a spy for an animal shelter. His credentials? Let's just say he liked his milk shakes shaken not stirred. Russell knew he had to save Bessie, but the security was like no other. Rita's Hair Salon and Security Service were everywhere. None of the cows in training had a bad hair day and all of Rita's bulls had cell phones and GPS devices.

Sorry, but I must stop here and have a part 3 to this story because frankly ..........