There are some things that bother me when I read articles or stories. I don't offer criticisms in general, unless someone asks specifically and then only in a private message. But I thought this might help those who read it, although the ones who might need to know these things, probably won't read it. At any rate, I wrote this out so here it is for whatever good it might provide any who reads it.
1. ‘Bated breath.
When someone tells you they can't wait for something to happen, they might say, "I will be waiting with ‘bated breath." This means they will wait for that to happen, holding their breath or breath abated. If you use the term "baited breath" this means your breath will be bait to someone or something. Not the same thing at all.
2. Passed/past.
These are often confused and mean very different things. If something happened long ago, it happened in the past. If we are running a race, I am ahead, and then you pull ahead of me, then you have passed me.
3. I could care less.
To express how little one cares about something, people will write, "I could care less what he has to say." This actually means you do care, at least a little, what he has to say, not that you are totally uncaring. To show a total lack of caring one must write, "I couldn't care less what he has to say."
4. Hear, hear.
When one wants to write dialogue in which someone makes a statement with which many agree, this statement would be, "Hear, hear! Well said." It's an old-fashioned saying to indicate, "Yeah, man." One would not write, "Here, here." In this example here, here would indicate a location
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Comments: 60
I'm still working on my grammar, and my punctuation. Still flinging too many commas around.
However, I'm happy to get nearly the right word these days.
I tried to tell someone that a certain lady had had a breast inaguration as opposed to an augmentation.
Thanks for the reminder.
No head lice here
hey it rhymes
is that a poem or what ???
I agree with Helen. It bugs me when people say this one wrong as well........
Here, hear!.. Ha ha!
Just kidding..
Love the article my friend.
Wilhe, if she had a boob job, it could indeed be an inaugaration!
Oh Sarah, yes, it is the nape... not the nape of the neck. It like saying the shoulder of the shoulder. LOL
Nana, You can choose to leave me a comment and I wil thank you if you do. Then I can tell everyone that Nana chose to leave me a comment.
I have to write some of these things down to help me remember them, so I make 3x5 cards and hang them on a bulletin board until I get so sick of looking at them I remember them in self-defense.
http://friendsofdanh.gather.com.
Our goal is to help you further your exposure and to support other gather members.
Just a thought.........
..
U
I should make a list, too.
"I could care less" I believe is trite sarcasm, the obvious irony, sure, if someone didn't care, they'd not comment at all.
Past/passed. The way I remember is if it's the action of the noun phrase, it's passed. All else is past.
He walked past the door. The action is 'walked.'
He passed the door. The action is 'passed.'
OK/okay. OK is preferred.
aloud/out loud. Unless you're LOLing, it's aloud.
backyard is one word, front yard is two.
backdoor is one word, front door is two.
I don't know why.
Further/farther. If it's literal distance, it's FARther. All else is further.
'very' and 'really' are great for teenage-girl-speak, but not so good as modifiers in general narrative.
(Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Mark Twain)
sleight of hand not slight of hand
I think "Hear, hear!" would be great in dialog to illustrate the nature of a character. Then the young bohemian can ask: "Where?" launching the mess into a version of 'who's on first?'
ALL CAPS is not acceptable for emphasis is pseudo-formal fiction writing. Italics are used. ALL CAPS is great for email (if you don't have a good interface with italics) IMs and comments on Gather if you don't know how to make italics.
it's/its
it's is a contraction for 'it is' and nothing else.
its is a possessive pronoun.
If you can write it as 'it is' then use it's, else everything else is its.
Moving on. Something I've been working on lately, which I call 'qualifiers' or 'qualifying.'
The three people sat around the table smiles on their faces. Tom got up from his chair.
"on their faces" and 'from his chair' are qualifiers I write in because I think my reader is stupid and won't know where smiles are or Tom was sitting on a chair.
The three sat around the table smile. Tom got up.
Where we really see qualifiers is when the writing insists on getting between the reader and the story, explaining why the characters is doing something.
Sally twisted her face. "Stop staring at my breasts!" Sally was mad.
Tom looked away. He liked staring at Sally's breasts because he liked big breasted women. "Sorry," he said as an apology.
The 'he said...blah blah blah' can be cut 9 out of 10 times. The context of the scene carries (or should) the emotion of the characters. We don't need "he -cried- shouted- said -angrily - happily - whatever-ly
Sally twisted her face. "Stop staring at my breasts!"
Tom looked away. "Sorry."
See how much sharper that is and it still says the same thing.
The point is, Wanda, to not crowd our stories. Let are stories roll down the page.
2. In the past, I passed by. I walked past the store. ... I think what trips up people is that second sentence. It's certainly not "I walked passed the store" (and by God I've certainly seen it used that way) but by the definition of "past" and "passed" you'd think it might be.
Karl: "The three sat around the table smile. Tom got up. " I think you're missing something here. :)
I appreciate real comments on my writing. I very rarely get them. I think "Thanks for posting" all by itself has got to be one of the rudest things one can say! That's like saying, "I have nothing to say about what you wrote." Or maybe they didn't read it at all. Grump. :(
I make the your/you're error all the time when I'm typing fast. It's not that I don't know the difference! I swear my fingers do it all by themselves!
Another problem many people have is the to/too/two thing. Some people just don't have a clue. I've gotten email where someone said, "I went too the store two get 2 more but I didn't want too give him to much." Honest to God, that was in my email (for the ferret shelter).
What bothers me is the huge number of people who are sorely offended if you say something. I can understand not wanting to be chastised in public (although anyone who wants to be a writer should suck it up and deal with it), but some people seem to revel in their poor language. They seem to defend it like it's a natural resource to be preserved. I'm called the grammar police by the people I work with and my friends. I would want to know if I put out a memo with mistakes that made it incomprehensible. My mistake is assuming other people feel that way, too.
"The three sat around the table smiling. Tom got up." Is what I meant to say.
I don't get much creditable feedback on Gather, either, Barbara but for copy-editing of my Gather comments. I've got three really solid people who tell me in painful detail exactly what they think. I often sent them stuff privately before I go public. It makes me cry but it's made me a better writer.
I've gotten pretty good being objective with my own work. Comes from thorough critiquing of over 200 first chapters last year. I learned a great deal.
I don't copy-edit/critique on Gather anymore. Too many 'special writers' wanting 10 stars just for showing up.
Thanks again for correcting my Gather comment. I'll be more careful in the future.
Good writing is hard work. Great writing is damn hard work.
If the "could care less" is actually used as sarcasm, I agree. But too often I see it as an actual statement, and the implied meaning is they couldn't care less.
I have had the benefit of your critique, only once so far, but I appreciated it. You put in a lot of work as a favor to me and it affected the entire piece. Thank you.
You all have brought up other nits that bother each of us. I think it would be helpful for writers on here to really reach out for the help others can offer.
I see a good deal of 3rd person told as if it's first person. (I understand that's how 'chick lit' is written, generally) I think many 'net writers simply don't know the difference.
I try to look at the context of the writer, the level, if I can use that term. Blogging -- like on sites like Gather -- has created a new generation of writers we could call 'first draft writers,' concerned only with puking out a quick idea, caring nothing for the presentation of the idea, posting it and forgetting it as if it's a finished work. OK, maybe to this type of writer, it is a finished work. Again, context.
I suffered through a poorly written piece a couple weeks ago and did five paragraphs out of the 1500 words, just to give the writer a hint of what I thought she needed to work on.
Her response:
"Well, it's not like I'm getting paid to post on Gather, so why should I put time in editing a piece? I just want to know what you think of the story idea anyway."
If that's the case, I'd suggest a blurb, not a story:
A woman encounters what she thinks is a ghost only to discover she's the one that's the ghost.
Leave out the other 1487 words so I don't have to suffer through them.
Oh, what I think of that story idea? Hackneyed and trite, told so many times my only hope is to fall asleep before my teeth turn around in my head and eat my brain.
I try to avoid first draft writers because I find something inherently wrong with me spending more time on someone's work then he or she does.
Wanda, if you ever wish to suffer the slings and arrows of my thorough critique, just let me know which piece. Like you, I never offer anymore unless asked.
Whew! and another "Whew!" I's done pass-ed this test. Please Madam Wanda: If you EVER see me makan any mistakes, let me know. However, the 4 up there? I got them ones covered, yes sirree, I do!
Thank you again, Wanda!
Nee, I have been contacted by email to help with misspells or misusages. So that is what I do now. But if I ever see something on yours I will email you too.
Karl, I might have something I want some help on pretty soon. I thank you kindly sir. ;o) Who is to say I don't enjoy a little of that sling-and-arrow abuse. Maybe I am getting addicted.
night all and to all a nice hug
Your list is great. I laughed out loud a couple of times. Oh! sorry, lol.