by Brittney R.
Member since:
May 30, 2008

Sand Beneath You (poem)

July 28, 2008 10:29 PM EDT
views: 94 | 1 person recommends this | comments: 12

Sand beneath your feet
You walk all over me
Taking pleasure from my pain

I cling to you
I've got everything to lose
And nothing left to gain

I can see you now
Pretending not to notice
The sand beneath your feet

You watch the rain fall
Washing me into a faded memory
I guess I'm settling for defeat

I cling to you
I've got everything to lose
And nothing left to gain

It's bittersweet
How neither of us care
I'm just sand beneath your feet

©Brittney R.

 

(This is something I wrote awhile ago, but any feedback/comments/critique would be appreciated)

link to this page
Bookmark this post:
Facebook
Twitter
Delicious
Buzz
More

Comments: 12

Patty H. Jul 29, 2008, 3:47am EDT
Wonderful Brittney
Chelsea R. Jul 29, 2008, 1:54pm EDT
lovely poem!!
J R B. Jul 29, 2008, 7:15pm EDT
Very nice, well written.
Lawrence U. Jul 29, 2008, 9:45pm EDT
This is a powerful poem, Brittney! It's so thought-provoking and so profound - the first stanza sets the scene and captures the moment. I love it!
Amy C. Jul 30, 2008, 9:23am EDT
This could be a song. I like it and it is filled with emotion. I think we all have felt like sand beneath someones feet at some point or other during our lives...

Thanks for sharing this!
sheila ~the hapless housewife~ j. Aug 1, 2008, 10:32pm EDT
Britt, this touched me. I don't know what was going on when you wrote it, but I hope everything is better now.
Erin Montgomery Aug 25, 2008, 10:42am EDT
Strong emotion and an excellent cadence to this piece Brittney! A feeling I think everyone has had in the course of living, and so well described.
tiffany h. Sep 17, 2008, 1:23pm EDT
i just read this. was this just a poem, or something more? love ya
Connie C. Sep 28, 2008, 9:28pm EDT
That was a wonderful poem.
necee t. Oct 14, 2008, 12:45pm EDT
wow, this is really good...
Connie C. Dec 8, 2009, 12:25pm EST
Nicely done. I was unaware that you write such great poetry. I have been missing out!
René Allen Dec 30, 2009, 11:49pm EST
Well written Brittney.

Join the Conversation
Chime in! Become a Gather member to comment.
Already a member? Sign in
top
 
Gather | Friends | Groups | Share
About Gather | Engagement Marketing | Make New Friends | Gather Points | Advertise on Gather | Gather Press | Privacy | Terms of Service | Community Guidelines
Books | Celebs | Entertainment | Family | Food | Health | Moms | Money | News | Politics | Spirituality | Sports | Travel | Writing
Version 16961, "Pacino"; Copyright © 2009 Gather Inc. All rights reserved.