And Now For Something Completely Different

Not a word about the upgrade. 

Not. A. Word.

Today is ... some day of the week; I forget, but it's after Monday, I know that much.  It's 100 degrees outside (well, maybe only 99, but honestly, what difference does it make).

One of my jobs is to read customer suggestions where I work.  I save the most entertaining ones, and today's your lucky day, because I'm sharing a few with you.

012 04:53PM 01-17-06 Terminal 803
     HAY THIS IS TOMAYA AND YOU SHOULD BE EXCITED ABOUT ME WRING YOU SO DON'T TELL ME ABOUT YOU I'LL FIND OUT AND BY THE WAY WHAT DID YOU DO LAST SUMMER

I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.  And wring someone else! 

001 05:01PM 01-18-06 Terminal 803
     hay ya'll are doing bad and it need to stop now ya'll people are being mean
and i don'tlike it

Me either.

003 05:13PM 01-23-06 Terminal 803
     every one says i looke like halle berry

I'm happy for you.

027 04:44PM 03-03-06 Terminal 803
     my suggestion is kill yourself  

That seems a bit harsh...

003 04:35PM 01-21-04 Terminal 1
     Food, booze, animal crackers
     dancing naked monkeies
     tv
     more dancing naked monkies
     ferraries
     strippers

Okay, sure.

006 02:14PM 08-28-99 Terminal 800
     MY SUGEESSTION IS THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE POKE'MON STUFF ON THE FIFTH FLOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     I MEAN WHAT IS THE USE OF HAVING A FITH FLOOR IF NO ONE USES IT?

We will get busy removing the fifth floor right away.

039 05:45PM 09-15-99 Terminal 800
     Why Dont theyknow wehat I looking for after giving same.
     Sign User`s

Sorry, our ESP subscription ran out.

040 04:05PM 10-20-99 Terminal 800
     would you please place a vending machine in the library for
people like me that stay here for extended amount of times it would be very helpful and convinat for me and many co-workers that come on a regular bases because of our jobs requirement of accurate information if a vending machine is not installed we will take our bussnis elsewhere!

Hrmph! I guess he told us.

015 06:59PM 11-29-99 Terminal 800
     i think that this place should have a snake machine so that if you are hungry you can get something to eat

Yeah, but what about for the vegetarians?   And would that be raw or cooked snake?

026 06:19PM 12-01-99 Terminal 337
      canyon
      something about canyon

I'm thinking... grand?

043 06:28PM 12-08-99 Terminal 800
      Indoor pool... It would make this place alot more interesting.

True.  But you could never really be sure how clean the water was.  Plus, there's the snakes.

065 10:23AM 12-18-99 Terminal 800
     Continue as you are.  The place, the process, the atmosphere and the environment (not to mention the staff and company) are excellent in my opinion.  I've seen no discrimination and that in itself makes a very big difference.  Thank you for sparking in me reason to live and love again.

WELL!  Must have been the pool.

010 06:26PM 02-10-00 Terminal 481
      TODAY IS MY WIFE<S BIRTHDAY
      WHAT SHOULD I GET HER
      I HAVE ALREADY GOTTEN HER A PAIR OF RINGS
      WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 18 YEARS
      WE ALSO HAVE 2 CHILDREN
      SO WHAT SHOULD I GET HER

How about a divorce?

009 11:08AM 02-19-00 Terminal 434
     I SUGEST THAT YOU SHOULD MAKE IT WIDER & SMALLER BUT DON?

Yeah... Don?  What do you have to say?

008 03:45PM 03-30-00 Terminal 335 
     I suggest that you guys have a light on in the bathroom.
     That you have paper and pencil for us.
     I have pedals when I walk in here.
     Music in this peace.

005 05:23PM 04-06-00 Terminal 356
     more info
     more help
     i am scared of the people working here

Maybe it's the snakes?  Or the fact that the lights are off in the bathroom?

And finally...

006 06:13PM 10-07-99 Terminal 800
     buddy
     life is short

Life is, indeed, short.  C'est la whatever!