My son enlisted in the Marines last week.
When he was a junior in High School the recruiters came out in droves.
They convinced him to consider the Marines as a career.
Of course back then I had a little bit of power over the situation. I refused to sign the paper that said that Michael could enlist before he turned 18. I wanted him to be so sure that this was what he wanted.
One of the recruiters there made a comment that pretty much summed up how I felt about the whole thing.
She said "Your Mom has protected you from harm since the day that you were born and it is hard for her to understand why you would want to put yourself in harm's way."
She was right. I kept thinking to myself, "You can't take my son from me".
That was 2 years ago.
Michael came home from work last week and told me that he had enlisted.
I can't blame him for not telling me before hand. I would have begged him not to do it.
But, this was not a spur of the moment decision... this is what he has wanted for a long time.
He leaves in October for Parris Island. He will be gone for three months. Then, I don't know how long after that.
I guess what compelled me to write this article was the fact that inside, my heart is breaking.
I just wasn't ready for life to change yet. I mean, it has been Michael, Amanda and I since 1998, when my Ex left. We are a family. You get so used to the "safeness" of the routines.
Knowing that Michael will be coming in the door and asking what's for dinner and Mandy being her silly self. It's my comfort zone.
Does every mother wish they could just freeze frame for a bit longer?
It seems as though they were babies just yesterday.
I want to say "Wait, this wasn't supposed to happen yet".
I know it is selfish of me to want to hold on for a little while longer. It feels like I just blinked my eyes and they became adults.
Believe me, I so understand that isn't about me. This is about Michael and his life's path, his happiness.
I put my fear of what could happen to him, aside. I hide the fact that I am going to miss him terribly.
So, I secretly have a good cry once in a while and then buck up and continue on this journey.
I am so proud of Michael. Proud of the man that he has become. I'm proud of the fact that he is so sure of what he wants to do with his life.
After all, isn't this what we prepare them for?
We're not letting them go.... We're letting them grow.
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Comments: 51
Thank you Tabitha. :)
Thanks Randall... I guess that is the best way to do it.
Penni, I appreciate it. :)
This is not an ending, This is a new beginning! Your family that for years has been Michael, Amanda and you will now grow. I think there just may be a place for me in that new beginning family! along with my two who are so close in age to yours. I also know that there already is a place in the little family that I have been with for five years now with Me, Bobby and Kelly for you, Michael and Mandy! That is where this new beginning starts!
Than from there we go on and expand even more. All of them will bring son-in-laws or daughter-in-laws into our lives also. Maybe not the ones that we would choose for them if we had the right to do so. However you and I both know if they are good to our children and treat them right, that's all that is needed.
After that are you ready for this one, a beautiful young lady by the name of Terry D. becomes a beautiful grandmother, maybe a few times over. Hopefully not real soon but when the time is right! I think you will make the best grandmother ever and I would love the chance to grow old with you and spoil and love our grandchildren with a love that is as strong as the love we have for our children, but in a slightly different way.
That honey is the "new beginning" and that beginning is a beginning that will lead to others beginnings and in reality has no end!!
I know that you are very proud of Michael and he also knows it! I have only known him for a little over two years and I am also proud of him. You have to realize that the strength and conviction in what is right that Michael is showing now came from mainly and almost completely you an you alone! Michael knows that also and I have seen how he loves you in so many ways and he is going to be in your life and our lives for many, many years to come after he journeys into this step that he feels he needs to become the man that he wants to be and the man that you gave him the potential and the strength to become! I think as proud as you are of him he is just as proud to be able to call you "mama-dukes" and to see who you are and that you gave him the strength of conviction that you also have inside.
Your picture up there of him in the Superman suit says volumes. I don't know why but somehow I see Michael as a smart and principled young man that gives me the feeling that he is indestructible like Superman! Maybe it is because it takes one to know one! :-)
I love you Terry and if I told you once I've told you a million times every thing is going to be okay and it will all work out!! Believe me on that one because you know how I hate to be wrong :-)
I love the Superman picture..
I put his swimmies in his shirt for muscles.. lol
Yes, he does love to call me Mama.. and Mama Dukes. lol
You know this is tearing me up inside. But, I am strong.
Remember that episode of Rug Rats (years ago), Where Tommy kept saying...
I'm a big brave dog, I'm a big brave dog... Because he was scared..
That comes to mind now.. lol silly stuff.
I love you.
You did the right thing. That's all any of us can do. Our best. And you gave him time to be sure that was what he really wanted.
When the recruiters called for my son or daughter, I simply told them never to call here again.
Thank you Lena.
This is where their Guardian Angels take the wheel. :)
I tried that too.
Thank you. You've been through this.
I appreciate comment. :)
Geeeezzz.. did we live parallel lives?
Yes, it is hard for almost every mom to let them go and make their own decisions. But you are right to be proud and confident in the man you've raised. And beleive me, it's not like they ever become less of your life. They don't. You're intertwined forever, no matter what.
So take heart and chin up!
Otherwise, life isn't worth much. They're on their own and you taught them as much as you could. Let them live their own life. I do tho know it's difficult.
He is in your heart always no matter where he is. May he be home sooner than you think.
God Bless
Karen
Having said that, only a mom can know the pain of separation. As your son goes off to his new adventure, you are left behind with photos, memories and a panicky feeling of how did this happen so fast? Give yourself permission to grief and time to do it, Terry.
Although your son is off to begin his adult career, your heart aches for the loss of his childhood. Be good to yourself.
As hard as it is, letting go is one of the best and most necessary gifts we give our children. They will never know the cost to us until their children leave home.
God bless you and keep your son safe and happy.
That is what I was thinking while reading your article. I don't think Bob could have said it any better. You obviously raised you son into a wonderful young man who clearly knows what he wants . Serving in the military is a very honorable thing to do he is doing something not just for himself but for everyone. I have been a military wife for 17 years so I may be a little biased but think he made a good choice. You have taught him since he was a baby and now the Marines will continue his education with life lessons. I have a son going into high school that has wanted to join the military ever since he knew what it was. Because I am his mother I feel many of the same feelings you do. However I know in my heart if that is truly his passion in life then I need to support him just like I am sure you will.
You last statement is so true. You will watch him grow and you will be amazed and the pride you will feel.
Good luck to your son from what you have said about him. I know he is going to be a wonderful addition to our armed forces.
May God put that protective bubble around your son and family. Things change, he's ready. Just hang on with your heart. You have a wonderful family. BTW, Sixteen is up. This link won't get you there. Click my name, then articles on the yellow bar to find it. (This is a comment link for A Stone's Throw Away. It was written for you're entertainment. Don't click this link until you're in the mood to be entertained.)
Posting my feelings here is like talking to a good friend.
I appreciate your thoughts and feelings.
You are all a huge part of my support system.
And I thank you all for that. :)
When my eldest daughter was a baby and began pulling herself up on furniture (and people and anything else handy!) I knew she would start to walk soon. One Sunday afternoon, my husband and I sat on the floor on opposite sides of the living room and she took her first steps, walking first toward me, then toward her dad. As she waddled tenuously away from me, I had a sudden, breathtaking wave of insight that felt as if someone had physically stabbed me: as a parent it's my job to prepare my child for the world, and with these first steps, she begins to walk away from me. If I do my job right, her journey continues until the day she walks away from my arms, my safe house, my constant vigil to protect her and walks into the world.
As a mom, I sympathize with the mixed emotions you're feeling. You've done a wonderful job, now it's time for him to walk away.
That being said..
Bless you for protecting your son. And, I commend him for knowing what he wants and going after it. That means you raised him right. Just remember that as he goes forth and prospers. That you have done a very good job. He will fine as long as you believe in him.
love and hugs...
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You're such a sweetie. :)
Thank you so much for your kind and wise.. words. :)
~~Paying it Forward!~~
"paying it forward"