Will Twin Cities Face Shortage Of Male Hustlers For The Republican Convention?

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As St. Paul prepares to host the Republican National Convention in September, city officials have begun to ask quietly if the Twin Cities will have a sufficient supply of male hustlers to meet the demands of lonely Republican men in hotel rooms. 

One member of the Minnesota Tourism Department, who asked to remain anonymous, told this GNN reporter that "we organized all the resources demanded by the RNC (Republican National Committee), but we're now told privately that they under-estimated the demand for male rentboys."

Our source added, " They thought that with fewer evangelical leaders featured at the convention this year, there would be fewer people looking for an anonymous quickie from a male hustler."

Cindy Procuress, who led the team from the Twin Cities that negotiated the convention business deal, emphasized the detailed RNC requirements that were successfully met.

"We were able to convince the RNC that there would be a variety of venues at which "really sick, degenerate magazines and videos featuring abominable acts of sodomy" could be obtained for educational purposes.", Procuress said. 

"They (the RNC) also agreed that Minnesota has really cute partrolmen and Park Rangers", Procuress added.

Brett Packer, a young entrepreneur from St. Cloud, Minnesota, built a successful business supplying tough-looking young men to effete and closeted conservatives. 

According to Packer, "the local market is not good for us here; there are too many open and successful Gay folks.  My boys depend upon a steady stream of conflicted, furtive, secret-keepers that attend out-of-town conventions."

Packer believes that there is a sufficient supply of male "workers" to meet the demands of the Twin Cities' largest conventions.  He thinks the question of scarce male sex workers is the result of "hysteria" among Republican delegates who are counting on getting lucky at the airport or the hotel.  

This GNN Correspondent was successful in reaching Butch Swisher, spokesperson for the RNC Convention Committee.

Swisher denied vehemently that there was any question about adequate planning for the St. Paul  event.

"In a close election year like this one, we aren't risking alienating a traditional Republican demographic like family values champions who have furtive sex with policemen."

According to Swisher, "the Democrats are deluding themselves is they think that they can appeal successfully to self-loathing closet cases."

He laughed derisively and said, "Everyone knows that the Republican Party has provided a good home to gay-baiting sexual predators for many years."