I've already said that things weren't going as well this year as they have in past years. They were never that smooth to begin with, but this summer is really eating away at me and things just keep going wrong. I'm not even doing anything wrong either, but for some reason, it appears that I'm on my boss's bad side (not something I'm used to, especially considering I've worked with him before). Other staff are driving me crazy, they've changed the program I've always worked with (and not for the better), and there are things going on that I can't even vent about for fear that it'd be traced back to me and I'd get complaints about them.
To top things off, I work with 3 other counselors for the Peanuts. One is switching to videography, another to general, and the third is actually considering quitting. Two people were fired and even my boss has given me the cold sholder, so blah. I was supposed to do a newsletter for my group this year as well and four weeks in, guess how much I've written? Nada. I have no motivation to even try to do it like I wanted. I love my kids and they're the reason I'm here -- but things are going downhill so much that it takes all I've got just to have fun with them and make sure they're happy. And I don't think anyone can even see that I truly have fun doing the actual work part of my job....it's all the other BS that is dragging me down. I don't even have anyone I can really talk to about it either because it can't be published anywhere, I don't have phone or internet access often, and the only adult interaction I get is with my co-counselors (who are frustrated on their own) or on nights off when everyone is drunk and not acting like adults anyway.
Alright, there's my rant. I'll leave it at that. Thanks for listening.
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Comments: 21
been there, done that :)
you might want to consider creating a private group to give yourself more freedom, Jessi - if you include only those people that you know/trust, would give you a place to vent
I'm sorry this summer is turning out so difficult
The only thing that helped me during those awful times was when I answered the question: What am I doing this for?
The "prize" I was after changed from job to job -- from time to time -- depending upon where I was in life and what I hoped to accomplish but, concentrating on whatever goal I had at the time helped me to get through the worst of things...
In your case, the "prize" may be: "I need to do this in order to gain my eventual educational (and, thus, vocational) goal". That's a wonderful "prize", Jessi, and, if I were you, that's what I'd try to keep uppermost in my mind...
Also, keeping things in their proper perspective (i.e., "this is a job I must finish and NOT a social organization that I wish to belong to" or some such) AND realizing that, while certain events SEEM to be related, many times, they are NOT and, most of the time, the only common denominator is that all of the events happen to happen to YOU... Other than that, they are unrelated and not simply "parts" of a "greater whole dark cloud" that is following you around... Their seeming relationship is merely an illusion of "coincidence"...
That's the best advice I've got for you, hun... Take it as you will...
Namaste'
jean