by David P.
Member since:
February 14, 2007

Tender Shoot (a tanka)

July 11, 2008 05:55 PM EDT (Updated: July 14, 2008 01:56 PM EDT)
views: 60 | comments: 19
 

The sprout emerges
roots drawing in nourishment
from the forest floor
nearby flora competing
struggling to feed and to thrive.

(This is an entry written for the Gather Group "Poetry Please" with the prompt word of "competition". It is in the form of a tanka, a Japanese form of poetry and a kind of cousin to haiku. The tanka has five lines with the syllable count of 5-7-5-7-7.)
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Comments: 19

t b. Jul 11, 2008, 7:00pm EDT
I like this one David.
You always pick great pictures to go with your work.
Sue * Jul 11, 2008, 7:35pm EDT
I agree with terry...your words are always wonderful, and the images really add to the package.
Vicky P. Jul 11, 2008, 7:38pm EDT
The words alone grew images in my head.
Alison H. Jul 12, 2008, 5:04pm EDT
Just a little sprout.....

Lovely!
Susan B. Jul 12, 2008, 6:34pm EDT
Terrific! Thank you for posting your poem in Poetry Please
Michelle W. Jul 13, 2008, 3:05am EDT
Great tanka for competition! And the image is perfect!
Susan B. Jul 13, 2008, 4:04pm EDT
Congratulations! Your poem will be featured this week in Poetry Please
Mike Ellwood Jul 13, 2008, 5:04pm EDT
Reminds me of the parable of the sower. Nature is full of wonder and whenever one ponders on it as this tanka invites one to do, its mysteries throb with meaning.
lynn a. Jul 13, 2008, 8:57pm EDT
Congratulations. And very good.
Bethany C. Jul 13, 2008, 11:05pm EDT
Lovely! Congratulations!
Kathy W. Jul 14, 2008, 12:46am EDT
David, as one of six kids, this speaks to me of "growing up."
Great imagery, and the picture enhances, rather than detracts from the complex / simplicity of the piece.
Good on you, and congratulations.
Such is life, no?

Blessings,
Wilka
Julie S. Jul 14, 2008, 9:50am EDT
Congratulations. I love the tanka. Nice imagery and thought.
Susan Budig Jul 14, 2008, 12:57pm EDT
David, I might try a tanka. It's too the point, direct, succinct. I like that. You used twenty words to create an image that I can keep with me all day.
Sheila Deeth Jul 14, 2008, 5:33pm EDT
Neat. Congratulations!
amy s. Jul 15, 2008, 9:18pm EDT
thanks for teaching me about a wonderful new poem type congratulations on your win
Sujata (funnily 'Suji' ) S. Jul 17, 2008, 11:59am EDT
Congratulations David !!!

Happy to get back after a week's detention due to troubleshot ....!
Jim Ross Jul 17, 2008, 4:50pm EDT
Wonderful look into the garden, David. Loved the poem and the image.
William Dotani Jul 20, 2008, 4:09am EDT
Since I taught and lived in Japan for 16 years, I'm very familiar with Tanka. Your imagery is excellent, but it is lacking a needed emotional element.

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