Warm Chalky Smiles or Hickory Sticks -- Social Insight Courtesy of A Sylvan Learning Center Commercial -- (social commentary)
July 09, 2008 01:42 PM EDT
(Updated: July 09, 2008 01:46 PM EDT)
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comments: 36
The commercial goes something like this:
A mother stands in frustration.
"I don't know what to do with you! We've talked to you, we've grounded you, we took away your game station, we cut off your Internet access, turned off your cell phone, we've yelled at you, and we've punished you; and STILL you're failing in school."
Young anguished boy responds, "I'm just stupid !!"
Then the commercial cuts to scenes of the kid sitting at a desk, pencil in hand, a Sylvan educator leaning over his shoulder to help with a problem. She smiles and nods as she teaches. He smiles and nods as he learns.
The commercial ends with mom, child and teacher standing at the entrance to the centere, smiling, as the lad proudly clutches a diploma, or high scored grade card, or something like that.
In the television shows that I grew-up watching (the shows of the 1960's and 1970's), portrayed "good parents" were always shown spending an hour or so of evening time helping their younglings with homework.
Yeah, it was a fantasy. Most parents that actually tried to help their kids with homeowrk through and beyond that era, quickly discovered that the material was beyond the parent's education and-or ability. This, of course, created intensely awkward moments for both parents and children which many parents notoriously played off with excuses of needing to do other things and coupled with advice to ask a teacher or fellow student, or find some way to figure it out on their own.
The most interesting thing to me about the commercial, however, is noting that punishment was the first tack taken by the parents toward dealing with their child's poor grades.
It is my observation that this display of parental practice is not far skewed from reality. For myself and the majority of folks I've known, parents most often have, did, and do, jump to an immediate conclusion that bad grades are firmly rooted in lazieness.
Sylvan, on the other hand, capitalizes on the known fact that personal, individualized, structured instruction (tutoring) that is delivered in a patinet, pleasant and inspirational style is incredibly effective.
Tutoring, well and blatantly contrasts the obviously less effective methods most commonly found in public education of large class sizes and low teacher to student ratios.
Add to that the disruptiveness of being schooled along side children that have no desire to learn, throw in a bunch of peer pressurings and adolescent hormonal changes, and such afflicted public schools become nightmares for learning.
I ask all parents to please consider that a child struggling in school is more likely to be suffering from confusion and a lack of proper engagement or instruction; rather than any motivation towards lazieness.
Submitted for your thoughtful consideration.
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09 July 2008
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Bill's Spirit is an Artist, Writer, Poet, Philosopher currently wordsmithing social commentary from a humble digital forge in small town Ohio.
The works of the man behind Bill's Spirit have been published in small, alternative and amateur presses since 1986. Before that, they just filled notebooks, decorated walls and gathered dust in piles and boxes.
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Comments: 36
Like most other topics that involve parenting, I don't think it is easy to look all kids or all situations and come up with a right and wrong. If we know our children, we know when they need help and when they are trying to sucker us into doing their work for them or kill time so they don't have to do it. I think patience and a smile are appropriate for one and,"sit down and get it done or lose privileges later" is appropriate for the other.
Anyway, good article, and valid points throughout.
He wasnt lazy or misguided and I didnt fail as a parent. His eyes were the problem.
I have always wondered about the cost of Sylvan...does anyone know?
After 10th grade my son's grades took a nosedive. He's finishing up his last class in summer school-- which he'll finish in 4 weeks instead of 6, and then he'll be graduated. His assignment last week-- a 700 word essay on a time when he was excluded from a group and how he felt about it. Another words "dig up old cr** that made you feel cr***y and see if you can feel cr***y all over again." And they wonder why kids have low self esteem.
I just read a book about a man who educated his son through watching movies. Sometimes more traditional homeschooling works, or private school, or tutors. But when "the system" doesn't work something inevitibly will-- it just takes a lot of trial and error. Very few kids are "just stupid"-- mine certainly isn't.
My daughter in law, a wonderful and caring teacher, just left the profession to be a translator. She just couldn't take the system anymore. What a shame!
As per my own life experiences, I struggled horribly in some of my public school classes, while doing quite well in others; and the ease or struggling seemed to have little to do with the subject matter, but wholly in the teaching style used.
While attending a community college I picked up a learning-studying trick that had me on the Dean's List every quarter except my last. Who knew that a highlighter could be such an invaluable tool. I didn't, but I do now.
Although not diagnosed, I am certain that I have always had a version of ADD, or perhaps some brain damage (I fell down some basement stairs when I was two years-old and it caused an epileptic type seizure in me at the time). My memory is very visual. I rarely remember exactly what words were said, but I remember with acute clarity how the person looked when they were saying it.
Thanks again for all your comments.
Some kids need more challenges, other need encouragement and some are just in a phase or there are problems at home or with their classmates.
It's great if you can afford it, but a dedicated parent who understands the homework would do fine too. Then again - who has the time and is familiar enough with the class material.
Gud Artical. Personlly, I perfer the Evlyn Woodhed skool of sped redding. I gut my PDh that way.
Sorry, hon..I couldn't resist that little "blast from the past". Very good article. As you know, I still carry a boat load of guilt about this very topic. My son was punished by his Dad for poor school performance for several years before his ADD was diagnosed.
Very good article!
I am a former Sylvan student and I can personally say that they helped me reach my full potential in math. Their teachers created a personalized learning plan that augmented what I learned in the classroom. I just needed a little more 1-on-1 help in geometry to catch up to my class. I'd recommend them!
Parents that do not care.
Teachers that do not care it is just a job to them.
Teachers beaten down by Parents that demand their child comes first.
Yes there are disruptive kids in school, and where do you think this comes from?
Children need to be part of something and need attention from their parents and when they do not get it then they demand it from other adults that they come in contact with for their time.
I grew up in the 50s and 60s and had such bad grades, I was being socially promoted but my mom and dad would not let that happen. Both of my sisters were on AB honor roll. I worked so hard to make what little grades, Never made an honor roll in my life. My dad had me studying 3 hours a night but still I could not make good grades. I went to college and after failing out 2 times I quit and went to work. One day my new wife said she knew what was wrong with me. At 22 there was nothing wrong with me!! Well she had seen this show on TV that said what was wrong was I had a Learning Disability. I turned numbers and letters around. Now there is help for those that do this. There are lots of problems and each person is different and how we learn is not the same for everyone.
I think your short article is like writhing a one sentence on how to play baseball. The subject is so complex you could write a book on just a few children There are so many different problems out there. Have you ever thought about being a tutor in your local schools. There are always places where a person of your talents would be welcome
There are millions of families hanging on the edge if not to just put food on the table but to keep their jobs.
I have a friend who lost his job because he could not read well or was willing to learn to use the computer. Generally you can pick up on someone's level of education by just merely talking to them, it does not diminish their goodness. It is very hard for any parent to help his or her child with homework when they themselves cannot fill out a survey or use a checking account property. It is sad.
I wish every child that has difficulties in school could go to Slyvan. It takes money. With technology fastly approaching warp speed in schools, it has to be terrifying for the child who cannot keep up.
Personally, I think they should have classes just to teach them how to survive, i.e. personal relationships, anger management, dealing with stress, the list goes on.
It is equally important to make sure these children can read and understand what they are reading. The teachers are overwhelmed and underpaid.
I have a friend who has a child who is seven years old, his reading comprehension is incredible. She has taken the time to read to him from the very beginning. Reading has to be made a number one priority. You read, you understand, you understand you read the next book, and so on.
My son worked with a young man who was a high school drop out. It was pitiful to say the least. This young man could not fill out the job application. My son did it for him.
Unfortunately, there is a high percentage of low-income families that struggle with this. Many of these situations are more of a dominoe effect, grandma cannot read, therefore, daughter and son could not read, therefore, the children cannot read. When does it stop? I applaud any parent who will admit he or she need help themselves. There are many programs available, but unfortunately the willingness to step forward and admit you cannot read or write is very humiliating, along with the embarrassment.
Iliteracy breeds iliteracy as does bigotry and racism.
peace,
It's difficult to understand children who have trouble in school when I loved school. The difference for me was that my home life was horrible. I escaped into books. I'd rather have been at school than at home ANY day -- people didn't slap you around for no reason at school.
There is something wrong in either the classrooms or the way children are being taught. Half the class is bored and the other half is lost. After a few years of constant boredom, kids give up. After a few years of being lost, kids decide they're stupid and give up.
My children who did poorly in school, did much better when they needed to learn something for a job. They did even better when THEY were paying for the schooling. They learned quickly when it was something they were interested in. How do you instill that interest? I don't know where I got it--certainly not from my mother! LOL!
When my kids were young, it used to drive me NUTS when the teachers sent home letters and worksheets that contained serious spelling and grammar errors. For god's sake, how can you teach my child if you yourself are nearly illiterate?!?! That seems to be the norm in my public schools. Sigh.
Even if you can't do the math, you can still encourage, help find help, and provide motivation....or warm milk and a cookie when it's all done (instead of negative reinforcement that isn't working anyway).
Great comment thread!!!
Kids fear looking stupid and so they often do not ask for help or they act out instead to take the focus off of the grades and onto the behaviors.
Parents fear looking like a bad parent so they don't push too hard for fear of being called controlling... OR like has been mentiioned they don't understand the work themselves and fear looking stupid.
Teachers fear losing their job for getting too involved or showing favoritism as there is no time for them to spend helping each student - like there Should be.
(There are some from each group mentioned though just do not care as has been said)
Sometimes though everyone can do everything possible, but get poor results due to the child being undiagnosed or misdiagnosed.
Yes, there are many issues hampering education and until society as a whole starts to work together - we will not see solutions.
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You can't just hand a kid a book and simply turn them over to the school system and expect that kid to be drawn to education like fish to water. I don't care how "advanced" we consider ourselves today, kids still need to feel that something matters if you want them to put any real effort into it. Only parents can make a kid appreciate something that's not "cool".
The only way to help your children is to listen to them.
My son is autistic and he has that disadvantage going in. But, it never keeps him from growing and learning.
Every time he says, he can't, I say what my grandmother told me,
"There's no such thing as can't."
And, I will continue to tell him that until he gets it.
You always have to encourage your child, I totally agree. And, get help if need be.
Personally, I think that Sylvan and other businesses (that is simply what is is) capitalizes on the lack of time that parents cannot (or will not) spend providing their children with the help at home that they desperately need. With the state of our school systems, they'll be in business for quite a while...
I've got to agree with the sentiments expressed by George Corneliussen and John B. It's a complex issue with room for plenty to share in the blame. I feel that education in America has gotten complicated and has been detrimental in our ability to properly educate our chiildren.
New math curriculums? Math is an absolute science and the principals have been virtually unchanged for centuries, but now we are being asked to help our children with a more complicated application to solve simple equations. The math that I was taught in the 70's bear no resemblance to what's being offered now and many an argument has been had between myself and school administration about this very subject.
If a child can understand and process a simpler way to solve a problem and can do so in that manner to arrive at the correct solution, then why demand that another method be taught, especially when the parents cannot grasp it enough to assist their child?
Education, especially in the elementary years, consists of basic information that requires mostly rote and repetition to master the skills. As one progresses in the educational system, then you add abstract thinking and higher learning concepts. You throw such legislation such as NCLB to the mix and combine it with frustrated, overworked and disilliusioned parents and there you have it!
You are more right with this than you know Bill!
Confusion is what causes just about every learning disablity we know...
I work with kids like that full time, and patience is only half the answer. The other half is finding out what confuses a particular student and then working to resolve those particular confusions...
I definitely agree with your point of view.
Of course, bad grades often are the product of laziness or procrastination. While there are a lot of people out there who just happen to be slow learners, there are also many students who either don't care, or who have a hard time managing when they should do things. For me, I always end up finishing my projects at the last minute and they are often late. It's not that I don't understand the work, or that I don't care. And there is really nothing that my parents could do to help my get my work done on time. It's a matter of determination and patience. I spend all day at school, and all I want to do when I get home is relax and watch a movie or spend time with my girlfriend, or hang out with my family, or write. Who wants to take their work home with them? That's why work or school is separate from home; it should stay separate.