Jokes for today!

There once was a blonde who had two horses but she couldn't tell them apart, so she goes to her friend and says,"I have two horses and I just can't tell them apart."

The friend suggest that she cut off one's mane, so the blonde did, but the mane grew back. She goes to her friend and the friend suggest she cut off one of the horses' tail. The blonde did but the tail grew back too fast. So she finally says to her friend, "I've tried all of your suggestions but it just doesn't work."

The friend suggests one more thing that she measure them. The blonde went home, got a ruler measured them and went to her friend the next morning, and the blonde tells her friend,"Oh, thank you I can tell them apart!" "How?" asked the friend, and the blonde tells her,"The black horse is taller than the white horse."

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It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon-load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise.
"Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up.
"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to.
"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset.
"Don't be foolish !" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?
"Under the wagon!"

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A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something." The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."

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My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.

So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.

I feel better already.