Furs Chapter: You Decide: Am I a Good Kitty or a Bad Kitty? An Article by Reno

By Nancy's Nephew, Reno, a Proud and Brave Texas Cat          

(fake rabbit superimposed on to picture to show reinactment ~ Don't get all upset!)

July 7, 2008

I had a GREAT adventure today, and I'm very proud of my accomplishment and newly acquired hunting skills! I also heretowith state that I, Reno, heartily disagree with and contest what my Mommy and Auntie Nancy have to say about it!! This is an official complaint, duly registered in the Collin County Cathouse, I mean, Courthouse, in Texas.  Please read my story and decide for yourselves, fellow cats, sympathizers, and Gather buddies! I need some emotional and legal support here!

  

Me discussing my case with my attorney on the steps outside the Collin County Courthouse

Today I caught, by MYSELF, my very first wild rabbit as he ran like lightning through the field past our house! Oh, the **thrill** of the chase! The ecstacy of victory!! I was so elated while running at top speed through our fields, as this *extremely* fast rabbit was trying to outrun me!  NOT!!!  After quite some time and amazing cunning and skill on my part, I finally caught up with that bunny, and I totally *nabbed* him, just like a wild lion would do in the great plains of Africa! Oh, I felt so much pride welling up inside, as I thought about how proud both Mommy and Auntie Nancy would be of me, that I got all teary-eyed just thinking about it!

    

So, with all that in mind, I brought my coveted prize (i.e., the now duly deceased aforementioned rabbit) right to Mommy's door and dropped it ever so humbly at her feet. Well, to my utter shock and dismay, instead of scratching me around my ears and saying, "What a wonderful, magnificent hunter and protector you are, Reno!", she shreaked at the top of her lungs, and told me I was a BAD cat! She actually SHREAKED, mind you, and called me "A BAD CAT"!!! Can you believe that!!??? I mean, WHAT in the world is wrong with her? Can't she see how well I can now both take care of myself AND protect her yard from unfriendly, dangerous rabbits???  I was so deflated! I was so mad and upset - I was ready to bite her big toe off!! (I didn't, but it sure gave me "paws" for thought! Hisssss....Hissss...)

 

(This is not me.  I would NEVER do this...but I was really thinking some nasty thoughts there for awhile!!)

OK, so like THAT wasn't BAD enough! Next thing I know, my step-brother, a Blue Heeler named "Dusty" (i.e., a very big DOG), who is FIFTY times BIGGER than I am, suddenly comes swooping in out of nowhere (I think he is also a magician!), and before I even know what's happening, he sinks his big old nasty teeth into MY RABBIT, and then RUNS off with him clutched in his big mouth to some hidden place in the back yard where I can't find him! What a rotten, rotten thing to do to me! ...and what a PIG!!! I am SO MAD at him! I will never speak to him again as long as I meow or purr!! (I am not really purring at Mommy for some time, either. Currently implementing indefinite cold shoulder treatment! Hummph! Hisssss...)

   

So, next thing, Mommy emails Auntie about all of this, and Auntie has the NERVE to actually agree with Mommy and like, *totally* understands her feelings on the matter.  Hello???? Those two are most definitely on my kitty poo-poo list right now, right after Dusty the Traitor! See if I pose for any more of Auntie's stupid pictures again. Just try and make me! How about a nice picture of my butt, huh???? Humph!

   

...and SO, I am spending the afternoon on the porch in the sun, doing absolutely NOTHING, save for periodically licking my fine, luxurious coat! I'll show them all! I won't do squat, except lie around the house and eat my cat food when it darn well suits me!  They can protect their house from nasty wild rabbits all by themselves from now on! Take that! Ha!

...and so ends what could have been a purrfect day. Humph.

~ Reno