THE LEMON BASKET: THE BEST & WORST OF THE WEB
#479 JULY 11, 2008
Copyright 2008 FRANCIS DIMENNO
http://www.dimenno.gather.com/
francisdimenno@yahoo.com
PARANOID POLITICS
In the 1980s, in Cambridge, on the occasion of being congratulated for
winning his reelection by a margin of 90 to 10, Tip O'Neill grumbled,
"But my only opponent was a damn Communist!"
On the suggestion that Nixon might have a role to play in a Reagan
administration, one unnamed source said, "Whoever thinks that must be
smoking crack."
Bob Hope, confronted by protesters at the 1971 Miss World Pageant,
remarked, "Anyone who wants to disrupt something as beautiful as this
must be on some kind of dope. The perpetrators will pay for this.
Upstairs will see to that."--Gerard J. DeGroot, "The Sixties
Unplugged," p. 288.
Confronting a protestor at a 1968 rally, Nixon said, "Once we're
elected, we'll take care of guys like you." Turning to his security
detail, Nixon then bellowed, "OK boys--throw him out!"
The latest Obama quote (courtesy Newsweek 20080707): "I don't do cowering."
MORE WORDS THAT DON'T GET USED NEARLY ENOUGH TO SUIT ME
Joy
Ana
Facsimile
Kepi
Snook
Casbah
Billingsgate
Phosphorescent
Manhandle
Kip
Doss
Tuck
Hoagie
Schmear
Comedo
Rosacea
Cumdrum
Anarchosyndicalism
Estuary
Portage
Pottage
Careering
Strength
Fragile
Fungible
Tungsten
Tangible
Frangible
Irrefragible
Unrepentent
Formidable
Imponderable
Indomitable
Forboding
Situationist
Chuckleberry
vindictive
flibbertigibbet
ribald
ornery
sanctimonious
strop
intermittent
gazebo
Zimbabwe
molten
cantankerous
juicy
serpentine
waffle
insidious
copasetic
svelte
squash
noggin
pluck
anguish
noodle
scurvy
griddle
pinochle
lick
zesty
tang
fraught
bulbous
insipid
bacchanalia
swine
fink
borscht
smash
imbecile
robust
disgruntled
cretin
sinister
nefarious
odious
heinous
obsequious
pusillanimous
obsolescence
idiotic
poop
exacerbate
proselytize
ecclesiastical
juxtapose
flagellate
mendacious
scrumptious
crud
scram
Mojito
cooch
floozy
brassiere
nincompoop
pus
asinine
squeegee
pimple
pumpkin
wherewithal
heinous
hirsute
luscious
fizzy
pickle
rotten
scabrous
wool
twinkle
splatter
vegetable
luminescent
spackle
fortuitous
galoshes
vacuous
vapid
insipid
insidious
hideous
treacherous
ort
falafel
yippee
bazooka
hello
phlegm
anus
chopsuey
liverwurst
instigate
atrocious
squeeze
quaff
lager
wienerschnitzel
pussy
yummy
gorgeous
elephantine
rhinoceros
blue
black
purple
wasp
crispy
crunchy
lacksadaisical
music
woof
propaganda
meatbucket
photosynthesis
either
Mortadella
favas
scup
tranny
poptart
Cuba
blimey
humidor
palsy
fandango
infidel
porpoise
flugelhorn
roar
bellow
chipmunk
chimpanzee
diddle
doodle
flatulence
queef
excrement
cheese
love
stupor
mongoloid
yes
of
help
oui
luthier
lutanist
pianist
pianism
spongiform
puerile
excrescence
undies
tenderloin
circumlocution
ennui
http://www.thenoiseboard.com/index.php?showtopic=188161&st=100&gopid=3344206&#entry3344206
1*SALUTATION
IMPROVE YOUR VOCABULARY AND DONATE RICE TO THE STARVING
http://www.freerice.com/
2*REFERENCE
NILSSON
ALL I THINK ABOUT IS YOU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyWZqDuR3Ns&feature=related
I GUESS THE LORD MUST BE IN NEW YORK CITY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLWelfLHqdI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dswVK5si45M
COVER VERSIONS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4HqkY0kTQw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYxAz6rwwlo&feature=related
LIFE LINE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htHG7Lv9TbI
CUDDLY TOY DEMO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jECpIqRxt6w&feature=related
MANY RIVERS TO CROSS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgzWqfZo8fY&feature=related
3*HUMOR
HEY CRACKHEAD
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/27499971.html
4*NOVELTY
SPACY DAVID BOWIE
Space Oddity
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D67kmFzSh_o&feature=related
The Man Who Sold the World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSnXjE66tvQ&NR=1
Life on Mars?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueUOTImKp0k
5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST
IT'S A HAPPENING THING
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEIsfCgj0GM&feature=related
6* DAILY UTILITY
SWEEDEEDEE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXV-OiOaOSk&feature=related
7*CARTOON
PEANUTS REUNION
http://www.hulu.com/watch/25097/family-guy-peanuts-reunion
SOURCE:
HULU.COM
"Watch your favorites. Any time. For Free."
http://www.hulu.com/
8*PRESCRIPTION
9/8 Turkish rhythms
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kc34Uj8wlmE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgg8OIuL2LM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9aSEh-0kDA
9*RUMOR PATROL
WALKING IN THE RAIN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVkOXdfpvas
THERE''S GOING TO BE A STORM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDWg82zXsEk
ALSO SEE:
SHE MAY CALL YOU UP TONIGHT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwdJkCOFlBo&feature=related
1O*LAGNIAPPE
THUNDERCLAP NEWMAN
"SOMETHING IN THE AIR"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pGht71KFkY
Brilliantly effective as the soundtrack to the grand finale of "The
Magic Christian," in which businessmen scramble for money tossed into
a vat of manure.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ybQpfr2-1M
The Magic Christian: Original Trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szpXshpuAso
"In 1969, Pete Townshend, The Who's guitarist, created the band to
play songs written by the former Who roadie, drummer / singer John
'Speedy' Keen (miscredited as "Keene" on the single's label). Keen
wrote the opening track on The Who Sell Out album, "Armenia City In
The Sky". Townshend produced the single, arranged its strings, played
its bass guitar under the pseudonym Bijou Drains, and hired for it
eccentric GPO engineer and jazz pianist Andy 'Thunderclap' Newman
(born Andrew Newman, in 1943) and the fifteen year old Glaswegian
Jimmy McCulloch.
Originally titled "Revolution", but later renamed because the Beatles
released a single of that name, "Something in the Air" captured
post-flower power rebellion, marrying McCulloch's sweeping acoustic
and glowing electric guitars, Keen's powerful drumming and yearning
falsetto, and Newman's felicitous piano solo.
The single was Number One for three weeks, holding off Elvis Presley
in the process. The scale of the song's success surprised everyone,
and there were no plans to promote Thunderclap Newman with live
performances.
Eventually a line-up, augmented by Jim Pitman-Avory (bassist) and
McCulloch's elder brother Jack (drums), played a handful of gigs.
Personal records say the band played live only five times, although
Keen referred to a two-month tour, playing "everywhere".
The members of the band had little in common. Newman once commented,
in a 1972 interview with New Musical Express, that he got on with
Keen's music but not with him personally, it was a similar case with
McCulloch. Two more singles followed before the band split."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Something_in_the_Air_(song)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thunderclap_Newman
11*DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF
OTHER MEDIA
I WOULD BE PERFECTLY HAPPY IF I NEVER AGAIN SAW ANOTHER MOVIE WITH A...
Man causing a disruption in the lobby of a corporate skyscraper, and
the victim yelling, "Security! Security!" (Also seen in a hospital
setting.)
Man causing a disruption in the main room of a castle, and the lackey
yelling, "Guards! Guards!" (Also seen in Arabian souk setting.)
Venal small-town sheriff with a sloppy pot-belly and a hick accent
thick enough to cut with a bandsaw.
Obviously postcoital couple lolling nakedly in bed.
Group of five friends, one of whom dies.
Protagonist pausing after extended butchery to make witty remark, then
rushing away because he's in a hurry.
Singing chain gang.
Guy working at the morgue and eating a sandwich.
Guy who gets the girl in the end
Guy who gets the guy in the end
Hooker with a heart of gold.
Group of people learning life lessons.
Magical black person.
Bitchy mother in-law.
Ugly smart girl who is actually hot.
Sassy black woman.
Cop drinking cold coffee from a takeout cup.
Wise old asian guy.
Vicious midget.
Gay best friend.
Countdown timer.
Crew of zombified children.
Computer password found on the first or second try.
Fist fights that take place on top of trains
Pregnant woman in stalled elevator.
Destruction of the statue of liberty.
Person of color who can't get a bank loan.
Stuffy businessmen infinitely willing to degrade themselves for money.
Loaf of french bread sticking out of a bag of groceries.
Man going into a bar and saying "gimme a beer" and the bartender hands
him one, apparently feeling no need to ask him what kind.
Old white person rapping/breakdancing/talking jive.
Really drunk character suddenly becoming sober.
Pages falling or being torn off a calendar to denote the passage of time.
Running to the airport to get the girl at the gate before she leaves
the country forever.
Protagonist is attacked by one or more people wielding machine guns.
He never gets hit but manages to pick off his foes one by one with
well aimed pistol shots.
Teacher keeping a hot student late after school
Tenant who can't pay his or her rent.
Doctor who says he needs to give an attractive patient a "physical."
Massage parlor.
Single tear running down a cheek.
Guy catching an attractive female burglar.
Girl waiting for a ride and a limo pulling up.
Car driving through a fruit stand really fast.
Man turning his back to another man, and then turning around and decking him.
Hero with a gun that never runs out of bullets.
Person always finding parking space right in front of where they're going.
Post-apocalyptic scenario where only several people survive, set in
some unspecified desert.
Wise child, hobo, Negro, or wise child accompanied by a wise Negro hobo.
A super-hot white, or black, or Asian or Hispanic babe, who is not
only a law enforcement official with an expertise in forensic science,
but she also has a sassy "don't take no shit" attitude.
Go-go-go success-obsessed businessman/woman who by chance meets
and eventually falls for the laid back daydreamer type, thus learning
that there's
more to life than making money.
Naked whore dies.
A non-fatal gunshot wound to the shoulder.
A maverick cop teamed with a by-the-rules partner.
Significant message left on an answering machine.
Woman crouched in the shower crying and trying to scrub away the memory.
Man who ducks down into the NYC subway, boarding the train just as
doors are closing, at that same moment the pursuer spots him, but is
too late to stop him.
AND CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A MORITORIUM ON THE FOLLOWING SCENES:
Scene in which a spreading fireball fills a tunnel, a boy whistling
his dog to him, and the animal then leaping into a convenient doorway
with nanoseconds to spare.
Scene in which money is flung into another character's face.
Scene in which the protagonist miraculously manages to knock out the
seemingly invulnerable psycho axe murderer out, Then, invariably, he
walks up to him to make sure that he's knocked out, oinly he isn't.
Scene in which a person's leg is injured when being able to walk is of
the essence.
A hero's death scene accompanied by eerie music.
A courtyard or public square filled with flying doves or pigeons.
AND CAN WE ALSO PLEASE RETIRE THE FOLLOWING DIALOGUE:
"There's no time for that now! We've got to get you out of here!"
"Never mind that...."
"I might as well tell you everything, since you've got me dead to rights...."
"I might as well tell you everything, since there's no way you'll be
able to stop me...."
AND WHY IS IT THAT:
If there's only one person who smokes, ninety-nine times out of 100,
they're the villain. Eaters of red meat are also suspect.
When a disturbing dream forces a protagonist to gasp, he always sits
bolt upright in bed, and is instantly 100% awake.
Some creepy old local guy always issues a cryptic warning to the
doomed teenagers.
The busy dad never eats breakfast.
The kids always go right off to bed.
The shots of 'the big city' always include a rap or rock music soundtrack.
Everybody always says hello to the hero as he arrives at work.
Nobody says hello or goodbye during a phone call.
Previously operational automobiles fail to start at the worst possible moment.
SOURCE:
http://www.thenoiseboard.com/index.php?showtopic=188498
MORE MOVIE CLICHES:
http://www.moviecliches.com/
384. CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE
PAST TIMES
NAMES OF COMMERCIAL ESTABLISHMENTS
Libby's Bakery
Frash's Bakery
Albro's Fish Market
Modern Ice Cream Company
Colonial Food Store
Choice Macaroni Co.
The Old Canteen
The Swinghaven Canteen (1960)
The Hepcat Canteen (1950)
Union Hand Made Cigars
Stone's Monumental Décor
Slocum's Apothecary
Bagley's Variety Store
Hoyle's Market
McGuigan's Department Store
Whipple & Fuller, Undertakers & Embalmers
Dolan's Drug Store
Louttit's Home Hand Laundry
Swastika Canoe House
Bowen's Ice House
Hillside Dairy Farm
Industrial Trust bank
Jack's Smoke Shop
Vanity Fair Amusement Park
The Corner Store
The Ranch House
Fruit & Produce Warehouse
Ice Cream Parlor and News Stand
Modern Shoe Store
Feed and Grain Store
The Spanish Casino
Berber's Bake House
New Hygeia Bath House and Spa
Blacksmithing and machine repairing
The Stage Office
Reading Room
Sunset Bakery
Sunrise Bakery
Tailor Shop
White's Tonsorial Parlor
Clover Farm Store
Casino Recreation Hall
China's Gasoline Station
The Spa
The Bakehouse
The Public Market
The Bait Shop
Gray's Store
Potter's Waiting Room
Our Place Tuxedos
Rexall Store
Community Pharmacy
B&M Laundry
Pioneer Market
Sax Liquors
Kinnane's Drug Store
Sundae's Ice Cream Stand
The Clothes Pin
Evergreen Tree and Landscaping Services
Marvel General Store
Red & White Market
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