Bue Boo Bull Shark!

Some comments on one of my pictures "shark bait" prompted me to share a story that happened not too long ago and seems to have some new version each and every time we take out the yachts to the reef on a charter.  First of all, the ocean and the reefs are where reside the big fish and big yard to the sharks; just think of them as a German Shepard with fins.  You act scared they will most certainly snag you.  Rule one always when we take someone out to the reef is no silver, the baracuda will most certainly take it off of you, no sparkles or diamonds and tip number two, ladies if it is that "time of the month" smile sweetly and sunbathe on the deck.  I had a bull shark go under me wagging his head back and forth after I had swabbed and stuffed up my femine parts, he still swam under me trying to locate a scent.

Even the best planned trips will always have a funny story.  Recently, Captain Albert tells the tail of a charter wanting to go out too close to "feeding time" and a hammerhead shark of formidable size went under the boat, jumped and chomped a very large fish right in front of the folks on the charter.  Anyone for a swim, he asked quizzingly?  Gulping down their bugged eye surprise, the charter swimmers said, that "we have had even swimming, let's go ahead and sail some more".  And on it goes.  The sharks don't usually need to eat us, as we are easily seen in these crystalline emerald and blue hue waters, since the reefs break down most of the waves, you should not fear them too much.  But when you see the reef fish are hiding under a rock or reef, just get out of that back yard of that German Shepard with fins.  He's hunting, and if you startle him or seem like competition, he could be a problem if you are in his way.  Normally, you just stay out of the water at feeding times, sunset/ sunrise.  Don't fish in the water three feet deep with your catch of fish in a mesh bag dripping into the water a delicious drop of blood.  They will gladly take your catch from you.

But, I digress.  In the photo that says "shark bait" you have me in the tan suit with long black fins (I am strong enough to grab you and haul your butt out if you panic and can swim very fast, so no worries.)  Bonnie,  the young daughter of my friend Judith is in the red suit I think, and Robbie is taking the lead.  It's Catrell Key one of the most varied of our Gulf of Mexico sites about 7 miles out.  Judith had stopped smoking (yet again) and was noticing that the Captain and Robbie my son, had sited what appeared to be an estimated 7 foot shark breaking the water and it was near sunset.  We had a wonderful day sailing looking at baby hammer head sharks, sting rays, and beautiful huge sand dollars in the clear water on the way to the docking which is a buoy in the ocean ahead of the reef we were to tie off on one of the some seven choices.  One is a deep raven, beautiful reefs, some are shallow and one has a boat wreck at the bottom.  There is a big bull shark that is the mayor of this reef.  Never known to have been a biter, we know that bull sharks have the most testosterine of any animal in the world.

Robbie was trying to lead us and turned then kicked someone in the head.  He turned to apologize only to find himslef literally, face to face and blue eye to red eye and nose to snout with a bull shark.  Many of you readers probably recall the antics of the road runner and Wile E Coyote.  Robbie with spinning arms shouts under paniced, very forced and forced breath, "bu shar...bu sharrrrk go gooo goooo out out out bu-shark boo boo boo shark...." he sounded like someone took the air out of his lungs.  I stayed behind saying crap he's panicked so I have to act slow and confidents and stay behind a little to knock out the panic in the water and crap, he's acting like a cartoon in a panic.....

I was sure the shark was wondering "hey what did I ever do to you to deserve that sock on the nose?" and most I am told, will usually back off if their snout is poked or punched or in this case, kicked, but to know that he turned around thinking it was Bonnie, Judith's pretty college girl to apologize to only to be eye to eye with a sneering shark had to be a fright of a lifetime.

Lobster Rob did not get in the water another six months.  But one day, off our houseboat, he did take his friends spear fishing.  The commotion of six size 12 and size 13 feet clammbering over each other to get back on the boat was deafening and another hilarious moment, one of so many.  It's as if humorous moments especially with Robbie and Animals of any kind, just fall down out of the sky like rain.

But you have not heard about the blond racoon story yet.  We have to share that soon.  Racoons here in the Keys are extremely unique;

So in the meantime, let me know any blond racoon jokes you cook up and I will send over the story soon.  Have a good week. 

PS; I had a "day off too" on this last Sunday.  It was like a Bill Cosby meets Erma Bombeck at the townhouse this past weekend.  Never say you have a day off the universe will fix that quiet neatly for you so that you don't have to be bored.