That letter was sent at 2AM.
I opened up a copy of a magazine for OR nurses. I opened the AJN (American Journal of Nursing). One spoke of equipment and positioning. The other had patient stories and articles about the art of nursing in addition to the technical information. I don't think at all there isn't anything wrong with OR nursing. I just know where I am needed and where I was intended to go.
I knew she was going to a job fair the next day. And that my perfect job stood the chance of being give to someone else.
I couldn't let it happen. Well.....if it happened.....it would be my fault. But I had to try. Not only for me but for my kids, for nursing, for my ideals, for everything that was true, right and good in the world. It felt that serious to me.
I called her at 7:30AM.....and she was at work.
She told me that she understood me following my dream. I explained to her that it was truly this job that would help me realize my goals. That hers was the team that I wanted to be a part....
And guess what she said......
YES!!! She said YES!!!!!
So despite me. Despite my missteps. Despite the fact that I almost lost my way........
I feel like I win.
Because.....I know why I worked so hard. It has everything to do with my little family, the opportunities gifted to me by the Universe....because I know....only God got me thru. I owe it to Elvis.
And....for the first time in my life. I realize I owe it to me. Ambition is good. But what I have to offer is better. Because I am a person of my word. And my word is good. And I can sleep with myself at night. In the bed of my own making. Which is soft and comfortable.....safe and warm.
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Comments: 17
Yay for you, La B! I'm glad everything worked out and that you made the right decision for you.
I think you're going to be very happy with the smaller hospital.
Congratulations!
The thing is....
I want....I hope.....to share with people....that well. People have said it before me....
Be true to yourself.
But life cannot be summed up as easily as that. Be true to yourself and everything will be perfect.
We will stumble. We will fall. But we can get up too. We can squeeze the happiness out of things.....where we thought there was none. You have to believe in something.
Humanity is not at all perfect. And there will be dark days. But there is a light.....even if you have to crawl to it.
Easy for me to say at this point. But at the low points.....you have to keep in your mind that if you are going thru hell, don't stop and look around at the scenery.....keep running for the other side.
I had to share that and I have to keep that in mind for dark days ahead.
I need a beer or something
Look what happened when you behaved below your expectation. The id will tell you, in subtle or massive ways.
This is the right thing and I'm thrilled for you hun.
I wanted to thank you for your postings-you sharing yourself and experiences. It feels good to know a lot of the time your are not alone in this life.
Only the best for you LaBellota....
Jen