It was a perfect Disney day: clear sky, soft breeze, butterflies flickering over the roadside blooms, mockingbirds mocking each other from the gently swaying overhead branches. With happy music plugged into her ears and sturdy walking shoes upon her feet, Jess strode athletically down Redneck Lane on her daily power walk.
Stopping to pick a wild daisy, she glanced around the grassy verge and delightedly noticed a fluffy gray rabbit quietly grazing on the green. She stood smiling at it, watching it munch its lunch of clover and wishing she could stroke its soft bunny ears, when the air was suddenly rent by a high-pitched screech.
As she watched, dumbstruck and paralyzed with awe, our not-so-friendly neighborhood bald eagle swooped from the sky, nearly grazing her nose in its descent, and unerringly snatched up the helpless little hare in its fearsome talons, leaving furry little feet dangling and kicking helplessly in the air.
As, with a ferocious flap of massive wings, America's symbol carried his prey back to the treetop aerie across the canal, Jess heard a little voice cry, "Call Flopsy and Mopsy. Tell them I loooove theeemmmm!"
But wait! There's more! Just after she came bursting through the door to tell me of her adventure, I glanced into the kitchen and saw Something making its way across the floor. In a quavering whisper, I said "Psst...Jess. Where's the Raid? There's something weird crawling over there." Bravely, she made her way into the kitchen for a closer look at The Thing and said, "When did we move to Nat Geo? That's a fucking CRAB!!"
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Comments: 31
I hope the eagle enjoyed his lunch. Or her lunch, you didn't specify the bird's gender.
Ignorance is truly bliss in some instances.
You really had a crab walking across your floor?
I'm sure the bunny was sick and weak anyway and the eagle performed an act of mercy (and will ask the spirit of the rabbit for forgiveness)--because that's how Nature works, right?
I think I'll get a job scrubbing toilets tomorrow.
We also have a family of Cooper's Hawks. The Cooper is a small hawk, very pretty markings...dark gray back, breast is white with orange speckles. Yellow legs. The female's colors are a little more muted. The male has been visiting since he was a juvenile, calling for a mate. He finally found one, and they set up their home in a nearby tree. Cooper's hawks love, absolutely LOOOOVE mourning doves. That is their favorite lunch, and I attract the doves on purpose because...hey, hawks have to eat too.
We have seen too unsuccessful attacks, but I have never seen a kill. I have watched the big guy, sitting on the cross-arm of our bird-feeder pole, enjoy his filet of dove, though. It's a strange accompaniment to our afternoon cocktail hour...watching him pull entrails out of the carcass and down them with obvious relish.
Wonderful story! I enjoyed it greatly.
Did you go after the crab with a hammer? I would have.
Only for you would I read past that line. I'm glad I did. Wonderfully written even if I am a little upset about ending up with a crab. Guess it beats crap apples.
This entertaining story reminds me that my grandson, A8 have just recently fallen in love with crabs and now have 5 of them in an aquarium. He has names for them all, of course. Ick! Creepy things.
"The world belongs to the meat eaters."
I would have probably tried to escort the crab out the door before my cats attempted to stage their own Nat. Geo. moment... one Crab is not enough to make much of a meal out of for a human so my steamer pot would not have been an option although the thought did flit across my mind when I read this.