Discussion: Cyber Lives

interesting article

I think it can be like any other addiction, and take too much time away from your real relationships if you let it. But that is true of anything, from reading to playing games, sports, eating. . it's all about balance.

Yes, there is such as thing as Internet addiction, and it can compromise your real life, requiring rehabilitation like any other addiction.

remember the movie "lawn mower man?"


scary stuff....

intresting

There is something to what you say. The truth is that the Internet is still a relatively new phenomenon. We haven't had a generation of Internet users yet through which we can study the effects of Internet use the way we have with television and radio, phenomena that are now in our past but could also be regarded as media-related addictions. Time will tell us more.

very interesting

I think it can be very bad for certain people to get involved with virtual realities, when they use them to deny and escape from their lives and not deal with their real issues. For a healthy, well-adjusted and balanced person, whether teen or adult, it's not really an issue. Unfortunately, there's no way to sift out the ones who aren't healthy and able to deal with the difference between reality and fantasy lives.. anyone can get online and do whatever they like, whether they should or not.

. not to mention those who are married or involved IRL, and go online and "hookup" with some virtual partner.. having essentially a second wife or husband in their virtual worlds that their real life partners probably don't know about. It's cheating..but many wouldn't consider it cheating since it's just "make believe". Making believe you're married of having an affair is the same as really doing it when you engage in a relationship with the other person outside of your marriage. Lots of gray areas.. and it could be very dangerous and hurtful

It is just like everything else....Too much is not good for you!

Anything if done to a limited time is OK. If one involves more time.....it is going to affect the guys activity level !!

It's ok but it's not for me

There is a woman in Missouri going on trail right now for being an imposter, and causing a young teenager to commit suicide. Dangerous? Yes!!

Not my kind of thing.

I'm just me online. Well unless some weirdo is hitting on me then I usually tell him I weight 300 pounds to get rid of him LOL

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LIke anything else it can become addictive--so it does have inherent dangers.

It can be dangerous just like any other addicting thing ...

In all honesty I don't see a problem. Why is is not okay for a teen to log on and escape reality but it's fine for an adult (Presuming they go for the same reasons)

Also, books are a reality escape too... should we advise against those?

Really, it's a site, so long as people realize it's just for fun I see no harm done.

Of course this sort of thing isn't my cup of tea, but in moderation and knowing the limits I see no harm in it.

Too much of a "good thing" is not necessarily a good thing

I am who I am...no pretending, no lying....lol..who would want to lie and say they are an overweight, in pain 47 year old paranormal enthusiast!..who sees a therapist weekly!

To be honest, I have social aniexty..the internet has been a blessing!

It will never replace what I have here. ;D

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This is who we are, human beings going along inventing new things, trying them out. Television, telephones, internet and who knows what comes next. You can find people naysaying each new thing from movies to the internet.

It will even out, things will assume normal proportions.

Too much of a good thing is still too much.

Yes, an online life can be bad...after an operation on my back I was confined to bed for six weeks not able to do all that much so I spent most of that time online in chat rooms talking and got so involved with that online community that real life took a back seat...it was my way of escaping the pain in an unhealthy way...I became obcessed with that world so much that I forgot there was a real world...the stupid things that were said in the room and the clicks etc. became my life...until I realized what I was doing and stopped...haven't been back in chat rooms since on a regular basis other than to say hi to a few friends not long after I left and then it wasn't the same feeling I found to have so didn't return to them after that...

It is a temptation to lose yourself within a world where you can be anything you want to be and not have to face reality...you don't feel any sense of responsibility for what you do since it isn't real but the consequences can be all too real...you can destroy another's life without ever knowing that person or it can happen to you...as with the girl who committed suicide because someone told her she wasn't worth being alive, come to find out it was the mother of someone who had been her friend at one time...

Even when we live in the fantasy world it has effects on others lives whether or not we realize it. Even on our own lives and can ruin relatiionships with family members because you spend your time living a fantasy not the real life you have...but then through out history there have been those who lived that way by having hidden lives which their friends and families never knew about...

:O\

This is a very similar argument as is made against so-called "violent" music and movies... That kids see somebody flying in a movie and then crawl up on the roof and jump off -- thinking they can fly... Or that they see violence done to people or people killed in movies and then see these same actors in other movies and then don't understand how violence really affects the people that it's done to and that death, somehow, isn't "permanent"... they fail to grasp the severity of these things...

I would hope that parents are teaching kids the difference between "fantasy" and "real life" and that it's okay to indulge in fantasies IF you are well aware that that's what they are: Fantasies and that things don't happen like that in real life...

This all goes back to the fact that kids need supervision... That you can't just leave them to their own devices for long periods of time because they don't yet have the maturity to be able to discern how much of something is getting to be too much to be healthy -- physically, mentally or emotionally...

I am who I am, online or off-line.

A 47 year old, married for 25 years, Italian curmudgeon who loves life, speaks his mind and doesn't take himself, or anyone else too seriously.

Very interesting and thought provoing. I have cut back on my computer time. It was wearing me out.

It is hard to regulate everything a teen does- it could be a problem for them. My cousins are always texting their friends. They never put the phone down- even for dinner. That is too much for me.

I feel I do spend too much time online (mostly gather or facebook); however, if I wasn't online chatting it up, I would be on the couch watching TV. I usually only get online after the chores are done, dinner is done, and after I excercise, so I don't feel bad about spending SO much time on the computer. I have set myself up "virtually" though, that way I can express my REAL self, without anyone ever knowing who I am. I like it that way. Great article by the way!

Moderation is the key to everything.

There has been a lot of conversation in the distance education community about using Second Life to create online classrooms. Last year they even had us log in at work and spend time checking it out. The only person I "met" there was an instructor at a college in another state. LOL

Looking at the avatars people create, we figured there would have to be a "dress code" for an online classroom.

Absolutely, teens who are still in the process of becoming who they will be as adults can be at risk by spending too much time on line. Especially 'fantasy' type sites where they can live out a fantasy life and do so to escape reality.
Many adults are also addicted to the net. Lots of adults live out their fantasy selfs on the web.
Adults however at least should by now, have developed a sense of self, including self esteem, self confidence, etc.

Most people with any type of 'real life' do not have enough time to get hooked on a fantasy life on the web.

10. when i was 14 i used to pretend to be someone else. but i am who iam outside the real world. but the internet can be addicting.

my real life is to hectic to pretend to be someone made up.

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To me the whole online persona thing is like writing. I write to escape and be someone else for a while. If I become someone else on line while chatting it is just an on the spot story. Of course most of the time I am just me, but I like the idea of being able to reinvent myself when I am in that frame of mind.

I spent the day outside so I don't know about living online all the time or using it to escape real life. I do use it to escape bills sometimes for only for a while :) I alway pay them on time.

Although I understand you were directing this to teens, I know a woman in her 70's that has completely fallen off her rocker about her cyber life--has "affairs", lives much of her life online.
It can be a problem for teens, but that's why I tried to limit my kid's use of online time.

I spend a lot of time online and I actually start to crave the "real" life outside after a while. But, I am older and grew up without computers or the internet. The latest generation has grown up with all this technology that I didn't have when I was their age. So, their ways of thinking is different and it might be easier for them to get sucked into the virtual life.

I think the virtual life is fun and a great escape, especially when real life has you down, but it sure isn't any substitute for actual human contact.

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I agree with your article, Sarah.

I have enough trouble remembering one of me.

I think a little online play is fine. But know where reality is. I visited a virtual world once out of curiosity. It was ok nothing spectacular. I would not sit there hours on end but some people have such bad lives that maybe this is an escape....

I am sure online addiction can be very bad.

I am with Rhetta on this one.

Creating another self online can be fun and interesting but when you give it all your free time it crosses from being "hobby"to becoming an addiction and can be harmful.

great article i personally would never do that because i find that i do not have the expertise to run the computer right I also do not have a computer at home in which to download this material

great article

It's good to escape for a while. But, as you said if you try to escape reality too much and don't deal with your problems, it can catch up with you. Too much of a good thing, is sometimes too much.
They could find an alternative. Like actually go outside and meet people in the flesh.

Is Gather sucking up too much of your time? It did mine for a while...then since mid April, it has become very limited...now I just have 400 plus comments in my email that I WOULD LIKE to return....

I'm just me, online or off. I do spend too much time online, especially on Gather and especially during triple points week! I was away for two days and had more than 200 messages.
I need to put a meter on this computer.

i completely agree with you. i think people can become so sucked into these cyber lives, they forget they have a real life. and i think that for teens it can cripple their social skills and prevent them for gaining real life experiences. everything should be done in moderation i guess.

On line time can become an addiction just as much as alcohol. If it gets in the way or becomes a way of "escaping" the pressures and disappointments of life, I think it is becoming an addiction

Food for thought! I take the view that we should all be true to ourselves, and to each other, whether we are online or off-line. Thank you for an interesting question, Sarah. :)

Sarah,

I saw the same segment on the Today Show. My husband and I were talking about what a good choice we had made by locating our computer in the living room, sort of. The monitor can be seen from anywhere in the room. The reason we think this is a good idea is right along the lines you're thinking. I have no problem with people participating in any kind of interaction online, but I think one reason people seem to be growing up a little more rude lately is that they aren't really socialized. You need actual interaction with real humans for that.