Happy Birthday, Carolyn
Yep, Carolyn Madden is almost 21 today. If it'd been a day later, she would have been born on the 21st of June. Alas, such are the misfortunes of life ... she's doomed to be perpetually young. But while speaking of life, let's have a quick sticky beak at her earlier years.
As a child bride, Carolyn could so very easily have married Wallet but he didn't alter his ways. Of course, any gossip worth his garlic salt and toasted Vegemite sandwich could say much about that union. But why live in the misery of the past - let's just quickly glide over Gene and down Dale to observe that on this very day Carolyn is teaching her two boys how to throw the boomerang. Her skill at this is amply attested to by all the broken windows of her now foul-mouthed neighbours.
Let's also gloss over her career as a scullery maid in the convent of those bad-tempered and judgmental nuns. Father Paddy O'Leprechaun's unsympathetic utterances in the confessional aren't worth mentioning, either - Leprechauns in dog collars and wearing skimpy frocks are just like that. Nor is Carolyn's career in the Department of Immigration and Foreign Affairs really worth going into to ... after all, what consenting illegal immigrants do in the privacy of dention camps when having affairs with foreigners is really their business. However, it could perhaps be mentioned that during Carolyn's servicing of the public - during those heady days down under with the Department - the Iraq War broke out. As an aside, the weapons of mass delight were never found. But was that really her fault?
However, Carolyn could be certified for being single headedly responsible for the defeat of the Howard Neo-conservative (we love you, George Dubya) Government in the landslide election of the current Rudd Government. She licked countless electioneering envelops. Yet we won't acclaim her for that ... my pathetic and insane jokes screamed from the barricades of the lunatic asylum also helped bring down the previous demented government.
Yet Carolyn simply must be credited with the Queen of Queensland dancing gaily with Pavlova in the Lamington Two-step - a new form of ballroom dancing that stomps on cane toads while simultaneously bending bananas. And because of Carolyn's enthusiastic encouragement, the Queen also introduced fire ants as a new source of renewable energy while he was camping on the very cheeks of the Deliverance River in Bare Bear County.
Currently, Carolyn is completing a cookery book for those plump personages desperate to embark on a crash diet. Uninformed sources speculate that the soon-to-be-published, heart-wrenching Madden diet is dedicated to the Invisible Man. It will be very simply entitled: We Who Are About to Die Salute You.
What is left to say other than:
Happy Birthday, Carolyn!
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Comments: 75
you were born on the first day of Summer. I know it is Winter where you are, but Summer sounds better to my ears.
Magi, your articls is Featured In the Triple Name Club.
Now, about the cake.
Happy Birthday Carolyn...wake up, wake up and put on your Birthday frock. What do you mean, you don't have one? You want to greet everyone in your birthday suit? I don't know what Magi will think about that?
But you'd better sort out the little ones - the selfish buggers are drinking all of the grog and smoking the birthday cigars.
Hey, Cookie, get the hell out of here! Whatever will Carolyn think?
this is what happens.
Oh, dear, don't tell Carolyn!
But it's not a good idea to kiss fish, either.
I forgot about Wallet .... we'll send the bill to Mr Beelzebub.
Carolyn's weapon of mass delight is still breaking the neighbours' windows ... but at least they're bring the boomerang back. You'll have to chuck your own ... and let Faith have a turn as well.
You'll have to hold the fort for a while, Bob.
You're in charge, Bob. Okay, Doctor let's head for the pits to toast some marshmallows.
I wonder why Bob thinks she's going to end up with Mr B.? Ah, such is the way of perdition you reckon, Doctor. Hmmm. Now where's my toasting fork?
Yes, our friend looks utterly beautiful doesn't she. We should learn something from her...good long treks on the beaches of Oz does do wonder for the spirit as well as the body.
Did you hear? Magi sent her a boomerang, too!
And I am headed off to the Land of Work. Later!
Magi has certainly splurged on the Photobucket supplies!!
Happy Birthday, Carolyn. Hope it's a great day!
I'm certain that Magi has a Vegemite birthday cake ready to go!
You know magi...he's rolling in dough...he'll stop at nothing to throw a photobucket party! He's some kind of guy!
Thank you all so much for my lovely birthday article (despite the actionable content in the text!) and I just may investigate the taste sensation of that candle-studded beer as the weekend continues.
Oh Carolyn, so good to see you at this wonderful party magi held in your honour...a candle-studded beer is all we are offering at this spirit-free party! Lol! Have some lemonade... or water from Poland Springs, New Hampshire.
I hope Carolyn and the boys haven't broken any more windows with the boomerang I sent her.
Once more: Happy Birthday, my dear friend.
Happy - belated - birthday Carolyn and thanks to you Magi for the celebration.
thank you Magi for such a nice tribute to our friend!
10 ++++++