Journey to Life

I would stand naked in front of the mirror,

rosy twin peaks staring back, and I would wonder

what to do with them...

                              tape them down or

                              push them together and

                              wear a low cut top

so the boys could ogle me and use my image

for their bathroom fantasies.

Neither idea held much appeal.

I didn't want to be ogled, or ignored.

Decisions don't come easy for a girl of thirteen.

When I was twenty, I would stand naked

in front of the mirror,

seeing those same rosy peaks,

the flatness of my tummy,

the swell of my hips and

the stirring of my womanhood.

I wanted to neither

                     hide or flaunt who I was.

I never saw the beauty there, and

every step I took was in looking for validation.

The years have been both harsh and kind.

Being a woman is not always so easy.

I have given at times until I was completely empty;

I have opened myself up to both pleasure and pain,

been caressed, loved,

bound, bruised and broken...

and through it all, I have learned more of who I am.

I have given life and sustained life.

As tenderness suckled me hungrily,

I have felt my purpose.

Now that years have passed,

I stand naked in front of the mirror,

staring at a body somewhat ravaged by time,

not nearly as firm and supple as before.

But there is a different kind of beauty

shining back at me,

filled with experience, love and loss;

I have been cleansed by tears

that have washed over me like a gentle rain.

My heart still quickens,

desire still runs through my veins

stronger and surer than before.

I am alive,

and for the first time in my life,

I feel like a woman,

satisfied, lovely and complete.