Anti-Materialistic Bridal Shower

As everyone on Gather knows, I am not a shopper.  I detest going to malls and grocery stores.  I can't remember the last time I went shopping.  Fran picks up new clothes for me at consignment shoppes and Papa does the food shopping.  Since Christmas, the only real shopping I have done has been at Border's and of course, I had gift certificates there. 

So, normally when I receive an invitation in the mail for a bridal shower, I cringe.  The whole idea of gift registries make me want to scream.  Never in my wildest dreams would I think of creating a Registry if I was to be married or have a baby.  It goes against every grain in my body.  Maybe it's just my protest against materialism.  Far better to give me "a gift from the heart"....something that let's me know you know who I am and what I value.  That is what I call a true gift.  If you are a true friend, you should know me and choose that which you know would bring a smile to my face.

But this invitation was different.  First of all, it was homemade. It was crafted with homemade paper, a purple and blue ribbon and a metal latch that was created by the bride's best friend's father just for this purpose.



Inside the invitation read:

"She is taking the leap!"

Please join us in honoring
JENNIFER LOOK
At a bridal shower luncheon
      June 14th at Noon
Vinny T's of Boston Dedham

Jennifer, the bride to be, was a classmate of Will's.  Through their friendship, we met Jenn's parents, Laurie and Randy Look.  Through the years, we have become family.  We have celebrated good times and not so good times.  Eleven years ago, they stood tall behind us propping our family up after the death of Aaron.  It was to their summer retreat, a rustic camp, fifty miles on a dirt road on Sabeo Lake, Maine that we retreated when I couldn't face the offers of condolences offered to us. Aaron's ten month fight to survive aplastic anemia was very public with all the blood drives and bone marrow screenings in our little town and so after the funeral I found it difficult being out in public.  I needed to be with close friends that knew Aaron intimately and the Looks' offered that refuge.  We went to Sabeo with three other families...the Looks, Maureen and Ed Fuller and their three boys and Jeanine, the Look's other daughter, her husband Sean and their two babies, Chandler and Lauri-lee.  We swam, kayaked, and went on long hikes.  At night we sat on the beach around a camp fire telling "Aaron stories".  One summer Aaron, along with Papa, had built the bunk house at Sabeo... there were many delicious stories from that time. 

But back to Jennifer...for this is what this article is really about.  Jenn is and always has been a very independent woman...she is at home in hiking boots more then high heels.  At camp, she is as handy with a hammer as she is with a stirring spoon.  She is her father's daughter.  I think yesterday was the first time I ever saw Jenn in a dress, though I imagine she has worn them in the past.  Jenn now resides in Sonoma, Arizona and is a nurse.  This trip she will only be here for four days but in August we will enjoy her company at Sabeo Lake, for it is there, among the tall firs and the glistening lake waters, she will be wed.  Of course the Evans Family is invited to share in the celebration. 

So I was quite surprised yesterday to arrive at Vinny T's restaurant with my best friend Maureen Fuller and find Jenn in a dress... a beautiful orange frock that actually showed her curves.  She even consented, for a few moments, to wear "a silly little bridal headgear" that her sister had made. 


I was pleased that the shower was an intimate little gathering of extended family and friends.  After a hearty delicious meal, lots of great conversations, and silly little games, it was time for Jenn to open her presents.  At first you could tell that she was really uncomfortable being the "center of attention" but as she read each card and opened a very personal gift, she became more relaxed.  Her gifts were not glitzy place settings nor silverware or sheets...instead the gifts held memories of times long past. 










This is a watercolor of Jennifer, taken from a photograph, of her fishing at Sabeo Lake, painted by her aunt.








Life is about celebrating our lives together....and we certainly celebrated yesterday!