Auntie's Antiquities (POW:TIE)

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"In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticsm. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again. We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring."

Enid Bagnold

Auntie's Antiquities (500 words)

Professor Blair Carstairs peered at his wife Angie behind him in the mirror as he tied his necktie in a Windsor knot. "Of all the absudities! My abilities do not seem to include dressing myself this evening!" and he ripped the tie from around his neck in disgust.

"Thankfully," Angie cooed placating her husband, "one of the amenities of taking a wife is getting someone who will tie your ties for you. Now see." And she turned him back to the mirror. "You probably have some anxieties about Auntie Carolyn's little soiree. (They met at one of her parties.)

"Indeed not! That is one of the few certainties in my life. I am never anxious for anything." Blair spluttered and then seeing the amused look on his new bride's face kissed her soundly before his sensibilities kicked in. "Well be late." He muttered.

"Relax darling, she's just having some of her cattier friends over (from her favorite charities) to show you off. It will be right up your alley. She's invited them to each bring one of their antiquities for you to discuss authenticities and hints on the complexities of finding a reputable dealer.

Blair sighed, "Actually, I'm more worried about my priorities after all of the festivities are over and the guests evacuate the place. I know it is just one of life's cruelties that my love has caused you to be one Dr. Abercrombie's patients, but will your dear maiden auntie still have patience with me after we tell her our news?"

"Oh don't fret my little cutie!" Angie swatted at him. "I'm sure Great Aunt Carolyn knows that it was within the realm of possibilities that we'd secure another generation of heirs for her. Don't mistake her not being tied down to a man at present as her having prudish proclivities. She's never been one of high society's dottier old maids with partialities and eccentricities-more immersed in the histories of China's various dynasties than on building one of her own. She just never met a hottie like you when she was in her twenties or thirties (forties, fifties or sixties either for that matter). Once she got set in her abilities, buying and selling antiquties at a great profit, she just felt being married wasn't one of her duties nor was it necessary to her happiness. Now that she's in her seventies, it's just accepted that she's single."

"I guess I just wish your parents were still alive. It might be easier to tell a father this man to man."

"Well it is one of life's inevitibilities. Once she gets a look at my once slim figure, there won't be any possibilities whatsoever to convince her I just ate a lot of chappaties with my curries when we were in India."

"You really think I'm a hottie?" Blair whispered warmly in Angie's ear as he helped her into her coat.

Angie smiled up at Blair coyly, "Let's keep that one of your secret identities, Antiquities Man."

© Sue Barton 2008

This was written for the Play on Words Challenge. The word to be included this week (Week 23 - 2008) is "TIE" See playonwords.gather.com/ for further information. Join the group to join in the fun.

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