Damn

Jeff was a rooster—that's the only way I can accurately describe him. It wasn't that he was cocky (far from it actually), he just always reminded me of a rooster. A tall lanky guy with a fluffy curly hair in an unspiked mohawk that had grown out. He walked like a rooster. His head always up and looking forward, he'd jut out his face with each step.

He had a lot of little ticks like that. Snapping his fingers, swallowing a lot, twitching his head to the left; poor boy had tourettes syndrome. A lot of people wondered why I dated him. I wondered that too, for a while claimed it to be a cruel joke on him. The truth was, I cared for Jeff a lot. He was my one constant companion for the first three years of high school. That culminated in a three month, very chaste, relationship that never went farther than sitting in a theater laughing at what a horrible movie we were watching (the Forgotten).

I never kissed him. We stopped hanging out after we broke up. I guess because that;s the custom. Nothing had REALLY changed between us. We just, I don't know, thought it was taboo to hang out with your ex who happened to be your best friend. My new friend didn't like him. Made fun of him behind his back. Asked me WHY I dated HIM.

I thought about it though—kissing him I mean. I nearly did after my senior prom. I didn't have the nerve. I stopped talking to him all together after graduation. I didn't even think about him. Then out of the blue I had a dream where I (finally) kissed him.

Two days later I saw him at Barnes and Noble. Then I saw HER. SHE was his new fiancée. SHE didn't even look like a girl. I was devastated. I didn't so much want him back, I suppose. But I did want the chance to have that kiss that never was. I was depressed because SHE stole him even though he wasn't mine.

I didn't know I missed him.

I saw them together today. Same place. SHE saw me. He didn't. SHE ignored me, though I did see her recognize me when our eyes met briefly. I wasn't going to let it bother me. If he wants to marry a woman he met online from Ohio whom looks like a man, let him. At least he's happy.

I saw them kiss.

Damn.