My step-kids left yesterday to spend the summer with their mother in Florida. Only, they aren't spending the summer with their mom, she didn't have time for that, instead their Grandmother is taking them. The disappointment that their mom seems to deliver time and time again used to upset me. I would cry tears with them whenever they were sad but now it is just expected, not only by me but by them as well.
The youngest, Evelyn, didn't want to go. Her mom left them when she was 1. I have been with her Dad since she was 3. She tried everything she could think of but she just had to go. She explained to me the reason she didn't think she should have to is because the judge said she had to spend summers with her Mom, he didn't say anything about her Grandmother. While this may be true, we don't have the money to get a lawyer and fight, and that would be required. She started complaining of a headache off and on about a week ago. Monday was her last day of school (they don't get out until Thursday but their mom said that the plane tickets were cheaper if they flew yesterday) and she didn't even make it the whole day. By 10 am she was vomiting. She hadn't been sleeping and was very emotional and clingy. This is torture for me. To see an 8-year-old so stressed out that she is vomiting is so hard. There isn't anything I can do. I can't make their Dad advocate for them. But I am the one who gets the questions and the secret notes. Monday there was a note in my room begging me not to send her and then yesterday at 6AM she met me in the hallway with another that simply said I DO NOT WANT TO GO!
We put them on the plane yesterday afternoon. By 7 PM we hadn't heard anything and I was getting worried. I can't call them as the family won't talk to me and my husband had a wisdom tooth removed yesterday and was a little stoned on Vicodin. But then the phone rang and when I saw the number I was so excited! They made it and I will get to talk to Evelyn! I had my groggy husband answer the phone and within a few seconds he said "awesome" and the said "she hung up on me". The kids packed their own things (the reason behind that is another long rant and I will probably write that later today) and they didn't pack any underpants. The oldest is 12 so I didn't think I would have to remind him about that and I specifically asked the youngest if she packed underwear and she said yes. So, the Grandmother waited for him to answer the phone said they had no underpants and that was going to cost her $60 right off the bat and then hung up on him. No status report, no talk of their flight or even any speaking to them. Mind you, their mother does NOT pay child support or give us money for any extras like school supplies, clothes, shoes, yearbooks, baseball, nothing. So, for her to yell at us about the cost of underpants is really irritating, why didn't she just call her daughter and tell her to buy them? The kids are her responsibility for 2 months out of the year! And the Grandmother offered to take them so you are going to have expenses when it comes to kids, period.
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Comments: 39
Marianne, in most states, the age where a child can choose NOT to visit the non-custodial parent is 14.
One thing to think about though (after reading your comment) is if you did want to fight it in court, the Mother's inability to be responsible and consistant could be considered to be emotionally harmful and damaging... obviously we don't know all the issues, but a Judge might be willing to listen to the children and consider what is happening to be harmful to them.
And the underpants... I say WAH! She doesn't want to pay for it, go tell the Mother to fork over the cash.
And you know, I have said the same thing. Let her take us to court! She doesn't have ANY money and probably won't even fight. The lawyer we used before told us it would cost upwards of $30,000 for a full out custody war. Who has that kind of money? My husband refuses to even try. He says it isn't worth it and that the kids will see her for what she is.
My 15 year old is dreading his biological fathers' visit the end of this week. It's only a weekend (and again in December) but he hates it non the less. He doesn't 'divorce' him as the father sends him money every month as allowance and the teen always manages to dig deep into dear old dad's pockets.
How long do they have to stay? Do any of them have a cell phone that you can be in contact with them via? Otherwise...I would just call & try to move past the G-ma to get on the phone with the kids.
So sad.
my other son 'sees' his father for what he is, but continues to ignore it because he is so needy for a 'dad'....so sad for all these kids having a crap parent.......
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