The Awareness of the Absurdness of My Thoughts

Over the course of the last few years I've realized my thoughts into reality. This has happened with those casual non attached thoughts or with determined thoughts. Thoughts with any sense of desperation would just chaotically spin around with no resolve.

One day last week I made the resolution to observe my thoughts and their consequences. On this day I accompanied my husband into work with my husband in order to basically make it a day of exercise. As we approached the city I began thinking of Starbucks and asking my husband to drop me off there, but hesitated because it was several blocks from his office. In a moment or two he said he had to drop something off down town which was near Starbucks. As I made my way back to the university parking lot to pick up the car, my intent was to be mindful and aware of my surroundings as Eckhart Tolle suggests. I noticed things while walking that I would have paid no attention to while driving. There was interesting architecture and landscaped office fronts with dead cicadas lying about. I was approaching a construction site where the temporary fence was laying on the sidewalk. Without missing a step, the man in the backhoe tilted the hoe part down to lift the fence up as I walked past. I got our car and drove up to the city park walking the five mile stretch of the park. I noticed my surroundings but not as intently, as I listened to my Ipod, not music, but pod casts of Oprah's new spiritual offerings.

After completing my walk I drove back to the university to pick my husband up for lunch. While stopping at a light I reached in the glove compartment for an Altoid. While doing so I thought what if everyone were super friendly, and what if I were to roll down my window and offer the person in the car stopped beside me a mint. At that moment I looked over, and the man was completely turned around looking straight at me. I turned quickly, a little frightened by my thought process.

I picked up my husband. We went to Applebees. He ordered one of those small desserts, the dark chocolate mousse with Oreo topping. I thought I might take a bite, but considering it has Oreos on it I can't. I have an Oreo aversion related to a mouse. This is something I wrote about earlier. I thought about asking the waitress to leave off the Oreos, but also thought that I didn't really need any desert anyway. She brought the mousse with two spoons, Oreos omitted. I told my husband what I had just thought. He's not too amazed as this happens quite frequently with me.

On the way back, the soreness from the two morning walks have sit in; and I still intend to go to the gym. As we come to the light I think I wish we could just make a right turn up this one way street to avoid the round about drive to the parking lot and crossing the four lanes of traffic by foot. As we drive across the intersection, my husband says, "That car behind us just turned right." Luckily, he saw he was going the wrong way and he made an abrupt u- turn."  I thought did I cause that?

I went to the gym, turned up Celine Dion on my Ipod, and tried to quit thinking.