by Busy Buzzy Bee 'Gather Proud Mamarazzi'
Member since:
April 25, 2007

Beautiful to Ugly...100 Word Stories-Week17/Challenge

May 31, 2008 04:11 PM UTC (Updated: May 31, 2008 04:31 PM UTC)
views: 0 | comments: 45
   

 Living in the same apartment, an unsuccessful writer was madly in love with a struggling theatre artist.

Tried to kiss, Terry rubbed his unshaved cheek against the soft downy skin of Carol; then allowed his mouth to fall as if by gravity towards her lips.

"No, Terry."

"What?"

"Why can't 'we' be just friends?" 

"But for how long? I can't just be friends?"

Carol gripped Terry's shoulders and leaned away from him.

Without hearing, he ignored her protests; a horrible face overshadowed and raped her.

An unexplained pain, cramped in silence; Carol left a note before leaving.

"I have AIDS"

 

 

 

                                                                   ***

(written for the group drabble.gather.com, prompt:Sex and the city)

Comments: 45

Kathryn Flynn May 31, 2008, 4:52pm UTC
What an exciting prompt, Buzzy. And how appropriate the prompt: Sex and the City.

Your article is Featured in the Triple Name Club.
t b. May 31, 2008, 5:15pm UTC
How interesting this story Bhawana.

Last year I met a man on a singles site, we talked over the phone and came upon the subject of forced intercourse.

His advice to me was to have sex with a man insisting or forcing and then tell him I had AIDS. I promptly cut off my connection, however brief with this man.
Alison Pearce May 31, 2008, 5:16pm UTC
Another very powerful drabble with an unexpected twist Bhawana!
William Dotani May 31, 2008, 5:58pm UTC
My goodness. Horrible violence is justly paid with a deadly disease. This is quite dark.
Danielle P. May 31, 2008, 8:10pm UTC
Excellently done. Force and revenge in a few quick moments. Very powerful.
Alison H. May 31, 2008, 8:27pm UTC
Why is one "unsuccessful" and the other "struggling?" And who is whom?

Very dramatic....
Marge H. May 31, 2008, 9:29pm UTC
Unexpected ending! Guess he should have listened when she told him no.
Larry H. May 31, 2008, 10:29pm UTC
thanks for sharing
Connie C. May 31, 2008, 11:59pm UTC
I agree with Marge, It was an unexpected ending.
Kasey Klein Jun 1, 2008, 1:32am UTC
an interesting story.
Touche! I liked this. Got what he deserved.
Kushal Poddar Jun 1, 2008, 6:46am UTC
i love this
Donald M. Jun 1, 2008, 11:05am UTC
very good drabble. So interesting with that great twist at the end.
necee t. Jun 1, 2008, 6:21pm UTC
wow, this was unexpected... very good for a bad one... scary stuff...
donna h. Jun 1, 2008, 9:44pm UTC
good story
Phyllis R. Jun 1, 2008, 9:52pm UTC
You did a great job in writing this one, - this is sad but unfortunately happens more than we are aware!!
Kay M Jun 2, 2008, 10:27am UTC
A surprising ending. Dark and powerful. Good job.
Marie J. R. Jun 2, 2008, 2:36pm UTC
Sadness, powerful ,,, amazing what can be said in very few words, uh!!! Bless you my dear,,, well done,,,
Donald M. Jun 2, 2008, 3:37pm UTC
Your writing is always a very good read. Good drabbles too. You are just to talented in so mny things. We all love you and the things you do.
Toni V. Jun 2, 2008, 6:55pm UTC
Very well done, Bhawana.
Elsie Duggan Jun 2, 2008, 8:04pm UTC
Very good drabble, Bhawana, and the ending for this story was perfect, he should have listened to the "no"
My goodness, that's what I call an ending with a bang!
elizabeth evans Jun 2, 2008, 8:24pm UTC
An ending with a BANG magi, it's an ending with a Death Toll. Good take on the prompt!
Jerri H. Jun 2, 2008, 9:35pm UTC
Wow....profound~


Thank you for posting to I was REALLY bored ;)
penni d. Jun 3, 2008, 7:52am UTC
ohhhh...he paid the price for rape....yea!
Great ending. My mind keeps playing with all the fun ways of letting him know. In fact, wouldn't it have been fun if you had asked each commenter to finish the story in their own two sentences :)
Parul S. Jun 4, 2008, 4:57pm UTC
how cruel of him............very just too if he forgot to use protection
Barbara B. Jun 4, 2008, 10:13pm UTC
Ummmm, I am sorry for her.
Anita R. Jun 4, 2008, 11:24pm UTC
Wow B- this went in a different direction than I thought it would! Good drable, true to the prompt.
Well that was terrible! Not the story, but the outcome.
Sheila Deeth Jun 5, 2008, 2:05pm UTC
Very dark. Powerful message.
Susan B. Jun 5, 2008, 4:36pm UTC
Sex comes with a lot of responsibility. Wonderfully written!
Jan S. Jun 5, 2008, 10:55pm UTC
Very dark deeds in this city. A very sobering story.
Tanya P. Jun 6, 2008, 12:21am UTC
I'm guessing this end note happens more than we'd think. Seems like the ultimate revenge. Interesting take on this drabble, Bhwanna.
Ruthe M. Jun 6, 2008, 12:37am UTC
Wow! What a powerful write, Bhawana! A dark tale; but unfortunately, it has rang true for many!
Donna Hammett-Tooker Jun 6, 2008, 10:12am UTC
Love can be just as deadly as it can be recouperative and as violent as it can be passive and protective.
David V. Jun 6, 2008, 11:59pm UTC
Very powerful drabble!!
Wanda H. Jun 7, 2008, 12:02am UTC
Oh my gosh, if only he would have listened to her NO!

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