Always Watching ~ 100 Word Stories~ Non-...

I saw you the other night, and it ripped my heart apart. I saw you with her. Why do you insist on hurting me like this? It's time for you to pay...

"Classic."

"A woman?"

"Yes. Quite clever."

"The wife."

"No. Someone very close, though. Bold."

"Damn. Another stalker!"

"You have to see things through her--"

"--Detective. This came for you."

"Excuse me, Doctor..."

You disappoint me, Detective. You see what I see. You don't care. You've been a very naughty boy! I see you with her. This is about me and you. Not her! Wait for me...You're next...

Comments: 18

Marge H. May 28, 2008, 4:48pm EDT

Chilling! Excellent job.

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Alison Pearce May 28, 2008, 6:31pm EDT

Clever take on the challenge Rue!

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Sheila Deeth May 28, 2008, 8:50pm EDT

Scary. Good job Ruthe.

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Rose H. May 28, 2008, 10:12pm EDT

Oh my - scary.

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penni d. May 29, 2008, 12:49am EDT

ohh...my kind of story!! Yea!!

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lynn a. May 29, 2008, 9:39am EDT

And now I want to know more. Good story.

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Donna Hammett-Tooker May 29, 2008, 1:28pm EDT

We all wonder what we'd do if we were the center of someone else's universe - in a bad way.

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Mary Beth Magee May 29, 2008, 2:08pm EDT

Wow, Ruthe! You spin a dark mystery better than nearly anyone I know. I love you dearly, but there are times I really worry about you...(LOL!)

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Jan S. May 30, 2008, 12:06am EDT

Whoa! I've got goose bumps! Good stuff, Ruthe!

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Ruthe M. May 30, 2008, 12:11am EDT

Thank you, everyone! I really had fun with this!

Mary Beth! ROFL!!!! No need to worry...as long as I can get it out on paper....;-) LOL!

Thanks Reena! But, just as Mary Beth, you provide great prompts to stir up the imagination! So, thank YOU!!

Thanks Jan!

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Susan B. May 31, 2008, 12:28am EDT

Very chilling Ruthe!

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Gregg Rowe May 31, 2008, 1:02am EDT

I have to be honest, I am totally lost with this drabble. Ernest Hemingway used dialogue in The Hills of White Elephants to give us a story similar to this and he had more than 100 words to use, but this one leaves me mistified. I beleive, and excuse me if I am wrong, that this drabble needs more to explain what is happening in the background of the story. I also beleive that since it is conversational, the tightening of the dialogue must happen to fully reach the conclusion that has been presented.

Gregg

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Ruthe M. May 31, 2008, 1:47am EDT

Thank you Gregg.

This is a murder investigation as seen through the eyes of the stalker. The first part, is the note left for the victim, by the stalker.
Following is the dialogue between the lead detective and psychoanalyst. Unbeknownst to them, the "stalker/killer" is watching. According to the doctor, she is bold. So, she has no problems letting the detective know, that she was/is there, watching him. And, that it has always been about him and her.

Thanks for the critique. I hope this has cleared things up for you. Although I enjoy Hemingway~ I have not indulged in The Hills of White Elephants. Now, I am quite intrigued.

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