That Sweet Good Night

It grows just like that, doesn't it. Tension felt, filling the room like something alive. This is a beautiful poem Mike. Showing a man and a woman, equal and seeking to please.

See, you could write sensitive scenes. Ours are merely a bit longer, but the eroticism, the emotions are the same.

Nah, couldn't do a whole scene. Same as when I would like to be able to say something to someone and can't, but give me time to write a poem and I have no trouble. Though not always.

It's like writing a poem. That kernel of emotion and sensation. You've described it, and built the sexual tension through the actions of the man and woman. the fleeting sensations and flashes of things around them.

To write the scene, we have to expand it. Maybe describe how the moonlight comes into the room and casts a glow over the lovers or the play of candlelight on the bed or body. The look on their face, set the conversation--which can also be erotic or can build sexual tension. Sounds--the whispers lovers make or like the sound a woman's quick intake of breath as his hand moves along the curve of her thigh, or fingers trailing softly down the curve of her chin to her throat, slowly towards her breast. The feel of the sheets against the body, or friction of the hair on his leg or chest against hers... See very similar.

You use some strong phrases to build tension and help us see and feel what happening....

Her hunger awakened
She rises over him
A huntress on the prowl
Pulling his knowing hands hard to her..."
I can see the scene. I would also use that only add where...

"Head thrown high in silent cry"; Arched back, leaning forward into melding hands..."

Same thing we do, yours is merely encapsulates the action in intense flashes, which I can and do use as well, depending on what's happening with my two lovers. Just like you, we want to bring the reader right there, let their experiences add to it and amplify it. The whole point is to engage the largest and strongest sexual organ of a man or a woman--the mind. Sometimes subtly sometimes not. You have to admit, while a naked woman is in itself a thing of beauty, it becomes erotic when she has a sheet semi wrapped around her and you catch a glimpse of a breast or upper thigh or the feeling when she teases by letting it slowly slip off. It's all in the words we use.

Wow. Very hot Mike, and quite lovely!

Snuck this one in when I wasn't looking. The ladies are right. Excellent pacing like Sia mentioned and sizzling like they both said ;)

Btw: you should be posting these delicious poems to The Romantics

Excellent!

Whew. Is it hot in here?

Sia is right, there is no reason you couldn't write scenes. You just did. The best prose is often poetic, with short, incomplete sentences. The imagery is all-important.

wow, this is very good...