Little Girl, Lost and Found

Silent river flows along mossy banks

just as it did many years ago

when I was a little girl; 

The picnic table still stands,

wood rotting away as if from a slow cancer,

the same kind of cancer that took you.

I didn't know when I was small

that one day you would leave me,

as you taught me to skip rocks

on the banks of the New River;

Tall and strong, my protector,

those days on the river bank

were just for us, and eternity was a day

as you told me funny stories,

and we laughed in the sunshine.

Looking at the muddy water flow,

I try and remember it it had ever been clear

and was there a sign, a misplaced hand

that should have warned me

of what was to eventually come...

My mind was young and innocent;

Good touch, bad touch was not taught,

but somewhere deep inside,

surely I would have known

if your touches were bad.

When I was older, I knew.

And with that first rotten touch,

the river bank vanished from my mind.

The little girl vanished too,

as did the daddy I thought I knew.

Fear became my new best friend;

I trusted no one, because of what you did.

I felt no anger, pain, or joy;

It was easier not to feel...

that way I could pretend.

Years have passed and here I stand

staring into muddy water

that used to seem so clear.

I hear a little girl's laughter;

I skip a rock and cast away my fear.