It is simply unfair to ask politicians to debate a bill titled The human Fertility and embryo bill publicly, under the gaze of merciless comedy bloggers like myself, especially when that bill contains clauses dealing with making IVF treatment available to lesbian couples. Politicians take themselves far too seriously to even see the pitfalls let alone avoid them.
Leading the debates on a clause of the Bill that would require IVF clinics to make treatment available to lesbian couples, former conservative leader and front runner in the race to be the baldest politician in Britain, Ian Duncan Smith who is perhaps even better known because his initials are almost the same as an embarrassing medical problem has put himself back in the news. He thinks children need fathers and so has tabled an amendment to the Human Embryo and Fertilisation Bill requiring that fertility clinics be prevented from offering IVF treatment to lesbian couples who want to have a baby.
"Girls brought up by a traditional heterosexual couple are less likely to become pregnant in their teens because they learn from their fathers it is possible to have a loving relationship with a man without sex being involved," IDS said while speaking in support of his amendment. Poor chap, he has never really been in touch with what is going on in the world and has obviously not heard about the bloke with the cellar in Austria.
Enough of poking fun at the ineptitude of former Tory leaders though. You want to hear about pub closures.
Another Conservative, John Bercow, who does not belong to the party's Not In My Back Yard tendency probably because he spends most of his time at his second home in the country and so does not care what is going on in his backyard, had this to say:
"I know of a lesbian couple who went to a clinic to ask about IVF and were told to go to a pub and find a man."
This demonstrates how important it is to grant lesbian couples access to IVF treatment at once in order to save the livelihoods of many pub landlords. What man in his right mind would want to drink in a pub if he was in constant fear of being molested by rampant lesbians intent on extracting a sperm sample.
rate
email
print
link to this page
Comments: 45
Ian Thorpe
May 22, 2008 01:00 PM EDT
You've got a point there Ian!
You know, I'm not sure that last bit makes sense. After all, men I know would love to have nothing more demanded of them than a sperm sample from a flaming lesbian. In fact, that's about the pinnacle of their fantasies.
Maybe it's an American thing.
If one is buying a round, does that imply a gang bang. Certainly addresses the "identify the donor" issue. "Sue, you father was the crowd at Gillie's on Friday night."
People further down the thread who think a British lesbian would have no trouble finding a willing man have not seen the type of lesbians who get married over here. None of your lipstick lesbians, oh no, they're much too smart to spoil their fgures with kids. No, the ones that want families have cropped hair, wear combat fatigues and have LOVE and HAT tattooed on their knuckles on account of having bitten off their own right pinkie in a contest with a logger to prove who was hardest.
Believe me, paying and buying your own drinks would be the smart option.
Actually most female couples in this predicament manage to find a gay male friend. Life's a bitch.
No us British boys have that fantasy, two women are usually involved.
But the reality can be different. How many men fantasise about being held in a stranglehold by one muscular, tattooed femal while another, slightly less muscled and tattooed lady holds a recepticle for him to jerk off into.
It has happened, allegedly.
You don't undertand the British male, particularly those in the north.
Here's a joke to help:
Two guys in a pub when the landlord calls time.
Buggeration, says one, I was just getting warmed up.
Don't worry, his friend says, I'll take you somewhere we can get three pints each, a meat pie supper and a shag all for less than ten pounds.
Sounds too good to be true, says his friend, how big are the pies?
Substitute pizza or burger and you have recycled the joke for an American market.
I don't even understand the American male, but my husband backed me on my comment (even just the one - men around here get turned on at the thought of being with a girl who even might ever be with another girl. Weird.)
I've read Ben Elton's book Inconceivable about a couple (Ben and his wife) who were having trouble. From what I read there, IVF is a lot less dignified that a quick bunk up with Mr. Beer -belly
Like someone said, Turkey Baster. These little devices are always popping up in the plot of soaps and TV dramas - but you never see them in cooking shows !
See description of British sperm-seeking lesbian above The British drinking classes are not uniformly MENSA material but they're not fools either.
As mentioned above, the combat fatigues tend to set off an alarm.
We invented lunatic politicians. It stems from the days when Members of Parliament were not paid a salary. Only the younger sons of the nobility could afford to go into politics.
I walked round the Houses of Parliament art gallery once, looking at portraits of eighteenth century politicians painted by Sir Peter Lely. I left thinking Lely was a lousy artist as he made all his subjects look the same.
Some time later it struck me that I had been unfair to Lely, these people were nobility and thus they were all their own uncles or something.
Thanks for feeding me the turkey baster joke.
After recent tax increases on drink, IVF would be cheaper than buying a round :-)
I know what you mean, its all this talk of turkey basters and meat pie suppers...
I've read Ben Elton's book Inconceivable about a couple (Ben and his wife) who were having trouble. From what I read there, IVF is a lot less dignified that a quick bunk up with Mr. Beer -belly "
Figures BEN wrote the book. If his wife had, there may have been a difference of opinion on the dignity factor.
Regards,
Doyle I <~~~~~
Like Sandy, I'm glad to know that the US doesn't have every loony politician.
From memory, its quite a long time since I red the book, it was Ben's wife who found the indignities unpalatable, so much so at one stage she was prepared to resort to shamanistic remedies rather than undergo it again.
Compared to lying on one's back, feet suspended in stirrups, while a crew of doctors and nurses look on, having to perform the old five fingered suffle in a locked cubicle seems easy peasy to me.
Yeah, but there is no alcohol in American beer. Jack Daniels is good but depresses the libido (I speak from experience)
Englishmen have a strong sense of the priorities in life. The pub is for drinking, not copping off - and Thursdays are Quiz night, Fridays Karaoke night; Saturday and Sunday are football. That leaves Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, one of which will be gym night and one bath night. Everybody needs a veg.out night too. We are far too busy to be impregnating women.
There are elements in the UK Conservative Party who would like to see single parenthood made into a capital offence.
I knew what you meant, but on a post like this I twist everything to extract humourous possibilities. And turkey basters are always worth a smile.
Listening to your explanation of how men plan their nights, I'm beginning to understand why the population growth rate is so low in Europe.
But there you go--a list of the noble institutions developing countries need to develop if they are to curb their population growth.
Ireland: 1.99
France: 1.90
Norway: 1.81
Sweden 1.75
UK: 1.74
Netherlands: 1.73
Germany: 1.37
Italy: 1.33
Spain: 1.32
Greece: 1.29
BBC article.
(Hungary in around 1.3 too.)
Very detailed PDF file for lots of countries.