Californicating America (rated G)

Zuni image of man-woman

Hurrah! for the California Supreme Court and Schwarzenegger's decision to respect the ruling...

As a European baby boomer, I grew up within a fundamentalist Christian church and went for 12 years to conservative private schools in various countries.

The male role models of my childhood dictated that homosexuality was perverse and that gay and lesbian people were predators. And yet, suppressed in all this ... (this is for another article)

When in college and having just finished my freshman year, I visited New York City for the first time and had my first "known" encounter with a gay person. I had a meeting with a professor at an office near Riverside Drive in Manhattan. Not being savvy of this American city, I got there in the car quite a bit early, so I parked at a cul-de-sac that overlooked the gray Hudson River and the Henry Hudson (West Side) Parkway through a quaint hillside of trees, and sat on a park bench.  Listening to the songbirds and contemplating a professor's summer offer to join his team investigating DDT pesticides and doing bird banding, a man approached and sat on the same bench. I was of course very worried, but he seemed so warm in his eyes, and when he softly said, "Nice morning, eh?" I immediately wondered -- contrary to what I'd read about NYC's violence in distant newspapers -- if all New Yorkers could be such peacefully good people.

A superficial conversation ensued, until suddenly he moved his little behind closer to me and looking me in the eyes, said, "I would so love it if you'd let me cook you breakfast..."

My heart skipped several beats!  For a moment I was frozen beyond words.

He was a "homo." My story would wind up buried in the New York Times as a couple of paragraphs about a mysterious, partially eaten victim corpse floating on the Hudson.  My mom and girlfriend would wonder forever what had happened.  Having recently had a meniscus operation on my knee from a bicycle racing incident, I could only hobble up from the park bench. But instead of going to my car, since that would leave me vulnerable as I fumbled with the keys, I stumbled towards a big church by that cul-de-sac. I dared not look behind as I heard, "Wait... why are you going? What have I done... Please... talk to me..."

But I just struggled up those stone steps to the church, since in the Europe and Canada I was accustomed to, no churches then were ever locked due to an old sanctuary philosophy. But these oaken doors did not budge.

The man paced undecidedly on the pavement between the park bench and church, so I hopped hurriedly on one leg towards where I could hear traffic. I looked behind half way up this street. Not seeing him but believing him to be lurking, I used both legs to pump me forward. My knee hurt so much. Eventually I came to a busy thoroughfare going both ways (Broadway), and parked myself on the cement island. There I waited, until I saw what I was waiting for, and madly flagged down the approaching blue-and white.

The driver pulled over to the middle, turned on his flashing lights and rolled down the window.

Excitedly, I related to the cops how grave my situation was, and that it would be in the public interest to capture this man.

His partner leaned over and asked where I came from. Perhaps my accent.

When I answered, the driver looked at me and asked, "Would you like to do New York City a big favor?"

"Sure," I said.

"Go back to your car, put the keys in the ignition and go back to where you came from."

"But... bu... bu.... I mean, at least follow me back to my car so I can safely get into my car."

The driver's window was already rolling up as the two broke out into a huge laugh and drove away, leaving me with my mouth wide open.

Well, I did go on to study DDT and birds and all that...

And later, when I was studying all sorts of cultures –- learning among a million other things that homosexuality has been an accepted part of those human societies in the ancient past that peacefully survived longest -- and learning to become a better writer of sagas, my best friend for a couple of decades, another professor who was to have taken over JRR Tolkien's post at Oxford were it not for a leukemia diagnosis, turned out to be gay. He was the kindest, most loving and intelligent man I have ever known... and not once did he ever suggest we become intimate. His empathy, common sense and problem-solving capabilities were only paralleled by the most intelligent person I've ever known, a woman.

As the years have gone by and my work became more directly focused on researching reducing human suffering and violence, it no longer amazes me to learn that there is a very high percentage of gay people actively and very successfully engaged in problem solving the stupidity in the world. Not once in my life have I been interested in a gay experience... but I honestly wish the world were far far more gay.  It is among this "group" of human beings that I  have most consistently found the teachings of Christ to be manifest.  Not in words, but in action... especially in how a lesbian or gay pair raise their children.

Among some native American tribes, there exists a third gender, a gay and transgender one that is termed berdache (eg: winkte, among the Lakota), and due to their nurturing nature, were often relegated the role as the teachers of children. Berdache, by the way, is an ancient Persian term, which like the accepted term for the Di´neh people, "Navajo," is tongue-in-cheek derogatory.  But it scientifically denotes an uncomplicated and simple acceptance within a particular society of a transvestite/homosexual gender.  Homophobia is an unknown among these very successful societies.  There are biocultural and neuroscientific reasons for all this, but that would be another discussion.

And so, when I read the other day, that the California Supreme Court had ruled that gay and lesbian marriage unions were as legal as the hetero type, I thought to myself, There's hope for America yet.