Help Me Understand

I have been trying to figure something out for about a month now, maybe the vast intelligence that is possessed by my fellow gatherites can help me comprehend. Here's my situation (and I do not share this lightly):

     We are a family of seven. My DH finally qualified for disability in 2004, after our house and 99% of our possessions burned in a fire. My DH contracted emphyzema while running into our burning home to retrieve his oxygen canisters for his COPD. He didn't want the canisters to explode and damage our neighbors' homes. He collapsed in the street, where our neighbor from across the street dragged him to safety. 

     When we were finally granted disability they gave him and the rest of his dependents what I can only call, less than substantial. At this point in time we recieve less than $16,000 per year. I cannot work, as I am his caregiver. Plus if any additional money comes into the house that amount immediately drops our SS to what it is now. For example, if I go to work and I make $400 per month (gross), our benefits decrease $400 per month. In addition, we risk losing health coverage on our children, regardless of whether health insurance is offered through that job. Our younger kids want to give us their pennies to help pay for groceries. Our older children would love to go to work, and contribute to the house (they are really great kids), but again we could lose the health coverage on the kids. 

     Back in March, my ex stopped paying child support (not a big surprise, he's worthless). That lowered our monthly income by $870 per month. When I reported the change to the Public Assistance Office (he was fired from his job), I was told that I couldn't report the income change until eight weeks had passed. I explained that the child support was taken directly from his check and that he wasn't going to report to his new employer (if he went back to work), that child support was to be taken out of his check. I explained that he may take a job that pays him under the table. I explained that our food stamps took the child support into account in determining our monthly income and food stamp allotment. I explained that we used the child support mostly for food.

     So, I have to figure out how to feed my family, now, for the next two months on our allotment of $447 per month. Yes, that's right. A family of seven on $447 a month. That's less than $65 per person per month. Could you do it? I still don't know how we are doing it, except for the grace of God and the blessings of loving family and friends. Why should our family and friends have to feel like they need to help us? I hate being in this situation. 

     My husband is the most wonderful man on this planet. He is my hero, truly. He saved me when I felt like I didn't deserve to be saved. He gave me the strength to leave a lieing, cheating, emotionally, and physically abusive man. He showed me I am worth more than I thought I was. He makes me a better person, just being in my life. He was working as a nursing supervisor, when he had his first major MI (myocardial infarction, I think), and refused to go to the hospital, until a replacement could make it in to relieve him. He has just recently tested to become a professional pesticide applicator (to start his own business), after having to drop out of Mortuary Science School (his lifelong dream job), because we could no longer afford it. He is a vetran. He does everything imaginable to support this family. He would go out and get a job (or two), but he either can't pass the physical required to get licensed or when they ask him why he on SS, he tells the truth and they find another reasin not hire him. I have seen him work until he has fallen over from exhaustion, sleep for two hours and go right back to work. He is the furthest thng from lazy that I have ever seen. I tell you all of this, so you understand the caliber of man he is.

     This is where I need your help. I just received a letter stating that, as of June 1st, we would be getting an increase in our monthly food benefit allotment of about $225 a month. Remember, I said this happened back in March. If we get an increase in our income of $50 in a month, our food stamp benefits decrease $25 with the next distribution of benefits . Our income has dropped more than $800 a month and we have to wait more than two months, now, before they raise us our benefits $225. This does not seem fair. On top of all this, everyone in the house including my DH receives no cost healthcare through the state. I get nothing. They say I can get low cost healthcare through the state if I am willing to pay $65 a month in premiums. I cannot afford to feed my family, but I am supposed to be able to afford $65 a month for insurance. I can't get help from the local food bank because we get food stamps. The church pantry that is about 12 miles away said they cannot help us right now, because they need to help their local needy families. How are people supposed to survive? 

     The internet is our only expense that they don't consider an expense at the Public Assistance Office. However, we home school our children, because they charge you, where we live, for the public education that they don't get (No Child Left Behind, my behind- Wow, that's a great title for another article). We use the internet to get free material to educate them with, and to earn money through focus groups, surveys, and of course Gather. They allow $18 a month for your phone, and the actual use for the previous month to determine your utility costs for the next six months.

     I also know that there are people out there who think that people on food stamps and medicaid are lazy lumps who should just get a job and stop sponging off the system. Believe me, when I say, I wish we could. We are in the process of trying to start another business to try and get off assistance. I don't like depending on others, at all. My husband and I go hungry a lot of nights trying to make sure that our children have enought to eat. Sometimes our teenagers say they are not hungry, but I think they just say that so there is more to go around.

      I know I sound a bit whiny, but I am really at a loss. Somebody help me understand this. If you read this and know, tell me. If you read this and know somebody who knows the answer, ask them, and tell me. I am really not looking for sympathy or pity, I don't need or want it. What I am looking for are answers.