Another Gather person wanted people to share their stories about how they met their true love and also asked: " Do you believe it was fated that it happened just that way? Please write an article and tell us your thoughts about what happened."
So, here goes:
I believe that I was meant to meet the person who was NOT destined to be the love of my life BEFORE I met my real love. I had all sorts of assumptions and unrealisitic beliefs about true love and (like many) was drawn to the type of guy who seemed "right" but was most likely to break my heart. I don't know why that happens so often but it certainly seems like it does and the divorce rate in this country has done nothing to change my mind.
If you've followed that logic, then perhaps you also believe that you'll understand why I also believe that we need to make mistakes and learn to get past our own romantic illusions and any fairy tales we've bought along the way before we can open our eyes - and hearts - to lasting love.
In my case that meant:
1. The handsome guy who was funny and charming and apparently loving, the one I thought I'd marry was exactly the wrong person for me. I dated him for at least four years. We've kept in touch, by phone, now and then...and I can tell our paths would have diverged. Marriage would not have worked out. He seemed like Mr Right but he was simply a figment of my romantic imagination (not his fault, mine). No one could have lived up to my beliefs and expectations and he certainly did not.
2. The man I eventually married was not someone who I instantly fell in love with but someone I instantly liked. We spent a lot of time together before marrying. We had plenty of ups and downs along the way so I don't believe in love at first sight. I do believe in the power of commitment, faith and sticking it out through thick and thin. I didn't think he was the man of my dreams - and he was not. He was the man I needed to be dreaming about all along. He was a model of integrity, honesty, heart and soul, intelligent, wise and also flawed. A perfect fit for me.
3. Of course, I missed all the obvious clue and was actually thinking of dating again. Then I realized I was in love with the man who was there - all along- and he had all the traits on my list of "must haves". Gee, I'd almost looked past the one perfect tree and wandered off into the forest, romantically speaking. I'd also ignored the way my heart beat a little faster every time he entered the room and lots of other clues that most people would have considered more than a "slight case of something". That slight case of something was love...and there was nothing slight about it.
How do broken hearts mend? By getting past old hurts and refusing to deny the good reality standing before them.
4. How did we meet? At a cultural event, one held in a bar, but not one designed for singles or people looking to hook up or meet anyone. It was pure happenstance. He was recently divorced, with a child. I didn't think there was a chance we'd end up together. We dated for years before marrying. By that time, we were already used to each other's quirks and eccentricities. By that time, our families had gotten to know each other and assumed we'd be married. We were really the last ones to realize that it was inevitable - and then romance and passion hit with a fury, after I was nearly killed by a drunk driver. My huband-to-be showed up at the hospital in tears, distraught at the thought of losing me and told me I loved beautiful, even though I had two black eyes (from hitting the windshield) and a smashed foot (now nicely recovered).
And that is pretty much all I'm going to share about that. I'll let readers fill in the details :)
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Comments: 37
Wonderful!
So heck girl - what took you so long?:) JK
1. Making sure I could love and commit to the son he had from the first marriage. I could and did.
2. Recovering from the pain of my broken heart and not wanting to risk another broken heart. But that near death experience made me realize that a broken heart is nothing compared to a truly broken heart - and death. Suddenly, taking a risk seemed very much worth it.
I liked this piece so very much: The tone you gave to it, the easy deflation of false myths, the great true story burst of love from your beloved when he realized you´d nearly died. What a great rush you just gave me! I hope one day you write this up with lots of details, either as a full memoir piece or a short story, Jo C.
And vice versa.
This is my favorite line, maybe because that is similar to how I felt. I think Vicky had a great idea with this. I'm finding it really fun to read all the stories, and how different they all are. I don't know about you, but it was also nice to re-visit those old feelings as I wrote my article. I really enjoyed reading this!
Lovely story - Thanks.
There is a difference between that and going after a match that you aren't necessarily drawn to - like a moth to a flame - but slowly learn to appreciate, like mature wine, rich in notes, depth and even some bitter tones. My take, anyway.
Glad so many liked that part about "He was the man I should have been dreaming about" because it is absolutely true.
He tried to take photos to show the insurance company and I wouldn't let him till I put on concealer so the black eyes wouldn't look so bad - as IF that would work. Instead, I looked nearly eyeless. Plus, no one told me that the black eyes wouldn't appear instantly so when I woke up the next morning, in the hospital, with stitches...I thought the worst was almost over. Then I saw those black eyes!
And I was just as into shoes as you are....but I had to get over that right away :( because it took forever to find shoes I could wear on that one stupid, broken foot. I comforted myself by reminding myself that being alive was more important than wearing heels. But now I can wear heels again, finally, yay :)
great article!
Whatever the journey, I am sure glad that you met him:) (and that you made it past that wreck!)