Of "High Teas" and Angels (Being Entertained Unawares...)

I'll be gone all day today as I will be conducting tours of Luther Burbank's Gold Ridge Farm for the attendees of the Western Sonoma County Historical Society's Annual "High Tea". (I wrote about this event a year ago here on Gather. You can access that article at: "High Tea, 2007".)

I'll probably be pretty tired tonight when I get back so I won't get a chance to read or post here on Gather until tomorrow... In the meantime, I thought I'd leave you all something to read It's one of my rare forays into fiction. It's about angels and entitled "Entertained, Thereby, Unawares...". See you tomorrow!

luv,

jean

ENTERTAINED, THEREBY, UNAWARES...

"Beware of strangers for they might be angels in disguise and many have been entertained, thereby, unawares..."

Ariadne looked down to see what shape the Chief had her assume for this assignment. Hmmm. From the looks of it, she was a female, still...

She sighed heavily when she noticed the dirty, white tee-shirt and the large, frayed hole in the knee of the worn denim jeans she was wearing -- along with the 50 or so pounds of extra girth. Judging from the backs of her hands, she was probably supposed to be about 50 years old.

The Chief was overly fond of this hackneyed, overdone bit of melodrama, Ariadne thought as she rolled her eyes heavenward, would he ever get some new material, and, if so, when?

She pulled into the parking space in front of a dilapidated liquor store and surveyed the putrid green paint, the burned-out beer sign and the litter that peppered the asphalt. Then, using the dome light, she tried to decipher the writing on a ragged scrap of paper she'd had clutched in her hand. It read:

   12-pack Budweiser -- cans
     6-pack Pepsi
     2 hard packs Marlboro -- reds
     1 Mars bar

Instinctively, she started patting all of the pockets of the black leather jacket she was wearing and pulled a 50-dollar bill out  of the outside breast pocket. She closed her eyes briefly, drew in a deep breath and whispered, "A fifty-dollar bill? Really, Chief, who uses fifty-dollar bills anymore? I thought the object was for them not to suspect something was up..."

A blast of frigid air hit her as she shoved open the door of the dusty Plymouth. Whooo! She wondered, how big of a miracle it was going to take for her to be privileged enough, just once, to land a summertime assignment?

Fighting the cold wind, she found the entrance to the liquor store blocked by a large, diesel pick-up truck with the motor running.

I wonder who taught YOU how to park? she thought peevishly as she walked around the front-end of the huge truck and pushed open the door to the liquor store.

Inside, Ariadne, quickly located the cooler with the Bud and then grabbed the 6-pack of Pepsi out of the adjoining cooler with her other hand. On her way up to the cashier, she used her thumb and the side of one of the Pepsi cans to snatch a Mars bar from the candy-aisle display.

Standing in front of her was a young man, probably in his late 20s, who had set one can of beer and a bag of BeerNuts on the counter -- taking up all the space on it -- while he followed the clerk over to the deli counter and recited his sandwich preferences: "...Make that a soft roll -- and hold the cheese. Can you put some peperoncinis on there, too?"

"Sure," nodded the blonde-haired male clerk as he set about slicing the roll in two.

Ariadne shifted the weight of the 12-pack to balance on her thigh and stared at the one can of beer and the BeerNuts that were taking up any available space where she might have set down some of the items she was carrying. Then she turned her gaze to the customer's back and stared it down.

 "Hel-LO!" she voiced mentally to the young man's back, "Heavy stuff here! Holding up heavy items here!"

The male customer shifted his weight from one foot to the other, uncomfortably.

Okay. He's feeling the vibes, Ariadne thought smugly, And he's going to turn around right -- now!

With that, the young customer turned and gazed in Ariadne's direction. She tried hard to catch his eyes with hers but, after glancing beyond her out the door, he turned right back around.

Oh, FINE! You ARE a lout, aren't you? she thought uncharitably.

The items were beginning to weigh her down considerably as she contemplated putting the 12-pack on the floor while the clerk finished making the sandwich. Now the customer and the clerk were discussing football scores.

"Great!" Ariadne mumbled under her breath, "Just GREAT..."

After what seemed like a small eternity, the clerk stepped back over to the cash register and the customer jammed himself in-between Ariadne and the counter. There's just NO END to your rudeness, is there? she mused in her head.

The customer paid for his items and then stood, blocking the counter, for another few seconds to land a verbal jab on the clerk regarding his favorite football team.

Oh sure... Just take a few MORE minutes while my arms drop off, why don't you? she thought angrily.

The customer hit the door and was climbing into his truck as Ariadne was finally able to set down the 12-pack, the 6-pack and the Mars bar on the counter, "I need two packs of Marlboro reds in the hard pack, too," she told the clerk.

The clerk claimed the cigarette packs from a shelf above the cash register, totaled the items and Ariadne handed him the fifty-dollar bill.

"Wow, a fifty," observed the clerk, "You don't see many of these, anymore..."

"Naw," Ariadne answered, "I guess you don't..."

The clerk made swift work of putting the 6-pack of Pepsi, cigarettes and candy bar into a brown sack and then shoved it toward Ariadne. "Have a good night," he told her.

"Thanks," she toned as she hefted the 12-pack in one hand and the sack in the other, "You, too."

She shoved the front door of the store open with her shoulder and, as she did so, a blinding, white light, that seemed to come from everywhere at once, poured over her. As it evaporated, trails sparkled in the crisp, winter air.

Oh no... here it comes, thought Ariadne as she looked down to see her shape transformed -- in an instant -- back to its original state of angelic beauty.

"Thanks, Chief," she said quietly, looking up.

The young male customer, who had been looking down at something on the floor of the cab of his truck, looked up just in time to see Ariadne emerge from the liquor store -- now changed into a vision from heaven -- and a stare froze upon his face.

Regaining some composure, he swiftly opened his driver's side door and leapt -- in one move -- to the ground. "Here, let me help you with that," the young man said solicitously, "It looks really heavy."

"Thanks," Ariadne offered coldly as she handed him the 12-pack.

"You know, it's strange, but I didn't see you inside the store -- and I was just in there," the young man puzzled as he opened the door of the Plymouth, tossed the 12 pack into the back seat, and then held the door for Ariadne, "Because, you, I would have noticed."

"Oh, really?" Ariadne said with distain -- lifting one eyebrow, "Because I was there."

"That's weird," countered the young man, "The only other person I saw in there at all was some old, overweight, grubby-looking chick."

"Must've been a trick of the light," Ariadne said with a slight smile.

"Are you doing anything?" the young man asked haltingly "I mean, right now? I mean, I'd really like to get to know you..."

"I'm so sorry..." Ariadne said, as she sat down in the driver's seat -- batting her eyelashes at him, "But I never date outside of my religion. You see, you're a complete jerk and I'm an angel... I'm afraid it would just never work out between us..."

Ariadne reached over and pulled the car door shut with a slam -- barely missing the young man's elbow in the process. She turned the key in the ignition, shoved the shifter into reverse and jammed on the accelerator.

As the car lurched backwards out of the parking space, the young man managed to jump out of the way... just in time. She pulled out of the driveway and gunned it as she made a hard right turn.

The cold wind swirled about the young man as he stood in the barren parking lot watching her depart with a dumbfounded look on his face. The sight in the rearview mirror gave Ariadne a case of the giggles. He looked so forlorn and helpless (not to mention, extremely disappointed).

"Awwww... Poor baby..." she cooed with mock sentiment, "Next time, you might try being a little more observant and a whole lot kinder when somebody's got more than they can carry."

As she sped down the road, a light snow began to fall. "I'd forgotten how fun these assignments can be, " Ariadne said out loud, "Even if the premise is a trifle clichéd. . . But, Chief, one thing: Aren't there ever any mortals that need to be a taught lesson in, say, August -- who might live in Orlando, maybe?"

 -- END --