Description. It's necessary to make a story work. Too much leaves the story on hold while you marvel at the sunset or the hero's strong chin. Too little leaves you with a "whiteboard" problem--a story that moves from scene to scene like a diagram on a white board. You end up without knowing the characters or where they are. No matter how clever or logical the plot, the reader finds it difficult to get involved in the story. Well we're the writing wombats. How do we write so as put in just the right amount of description?
There are several related issues here. First, how do you create the details of a character or place in your own mind so that you have a mental picture of what you want to convey to your readers? How do you make the setting solid in your mind so you can describe it to your readers? Do you use places where you've actually been in your settings? Do you use people you know or see in real life as the basis of your character descriptions? If you saw the person or place you were describing would you recognize it or them? What techniques do you use to make your mental pictures as solid as possible?
Once you've create the character and setting in your own mind, how do you convey that information to your readers? What do you leave in? What do you leave out? How do you work description in without slowing down the story too much?
Have you ever read a book where the descriptions were so vivid that you could recognize people or places if you ever saw them? Among published authors, who does description particularly well? Do particular genres usually do an above average or below average job of description?
If you write science fiction, fantasy, or the finds of romance that deal with imaginary places, how do create settings that seem real? How do you create characters that feel at home in those settings?
Finally, do you think you get the balance right? Do you think you know your characters and settings? Do you think you succeed in getting those mental pictures across to your readers?
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Comments: 108
I really suck at descriptions, which is the main reason I have not written much fiction. Maybe I can learn something here. BTW, could you add the number CL#7 to the title? For future reference.
I can also still see the houses in many of the Victoria Holt books I read. She did description well, if I can remember those so many years later. Can also picture the hotel from Hugh Pentecost's Pierre Chambrum books.
I think imaginary places are easier for me to create setting and description because I know I have to paint the picture, since no one has ever been there. That doesn't mean that I actually manage to do it, but I think about it consciously.
Dale, good topic, though taxing for my brain late in the evening on a Friday. I try first to visualize the scene in what Samuel R. Delany called the inner theater. If I can see a scene, often words will start attaching themselves to it. When it is going well, the words flow and push the story along. In my more recent writing, I try to worry less about how I'll edit it at some point in the future, since I know that is coming anyway. However, I have gotten to final form in my recent short stories pretty quickly. We had a discussion the other night on using all of the senses. With it came the realization that I have room to do more of that in my stories.
Creative brain just fell onto the floor. Only 1200 words today. Tisk. Tisk.
A proposal - It is getting late, and Wombats will be dropping off to sleep. So I would suggest a slight delay in the party, perhaps a holding thread after this one. And then tomorrow, on to Wendy and Pat or Lady Elena. Any thoughts?
I've got to get out of this room for a while. Said dog did something on the carpet that he's not supposed to do in the house, and while the product I used to clean it worked, something in the spray has been attacking my throat. I guess it's brownie time!
I like description. A lot. Daphne DuMaurier is a huge influence on me. I've described my stuff (with more hope than accuracy) as Victoria Holt with hot sex.
I've long said that if Jamie and I collaborated we'd do well. She can write dialog like nobody's business. I paint pictures and decorate with words.
Someone, Wendy maybe, in an early review of Ashes, said that she could see the Beast from Beauty and the Beast living there. Such a grand compliment.
Pondering Dale's questions.
I'll leave with a short description from my WIP.
"Overhead, fireworks exploded atop the dark blue of the Vancouver night. Suddenly, there was a further burst and a hologram of a striking woman's face ripped a hole in the sky. Ripples of the image replicated before their eyes."
Which is great for creating miscommunications, but bad for creating dialogue and action.
Groovophonic!
"Comfortable looking chairs and small side tables were arrayed around the sofa, an invitation to relax and take her ease. Her jangled nerves would not allow her to accept the silent invitation. Before choosing a place to sit, she would take this brief opportunity to explore the wolf's lair. Tea could wait until the appearance of the beast himself.
Two of the walls were covered with bookshelves, from Aubusson carpeted floor to the ceiling somewhere high in the darkness above her. Rolling ladders, used to retrieve volumes from the upper shelves, leaned against the shelves and gave her some sense of the room's height. The third wall, cut through with the door that led to the foyer, was a gallery of sorts. Without taking the lamp from the table and lifting it closer to the paintings, Jessa was unable to judge the quality, or even the subjects of the myriad paintings that hung there. Scattered about the room, on small tables or pedestals, were bits of statuary and sculptures, mostly in the classical Greek form, as far as Jessa could tell.
The fourth wall, Jessa knew, contained French doors, that presumably led to a garden or courtyard of some sort. The heavy silk draperies, topped by a much tasseled and fringed cornice board, now cut off whatever the view might be. In front of those windows, positioned with its back to them, was a massive desk of some wood that gleamed reddish in the firelight. Behind it sat an overlarge leather covered chair."
And with that, my dears and my darlings, I bid you happy anniversary, and good night. Such a grand anniversary deserves a multi-day celebration! Until tomorrow!
Heading to bed myself. A good book waits for me. I've got a work thing in the morning tomorrow, so I'll see y'all sometime later in the day. Happy birthday, Wombats. Lisa? Thanks for your creation. And for letting it grow as it wanted to.
Vana! Hi. I love Vana's comments on NoWhine. Ok, this pill is making slap happy. or something
Not. Fair.
Description...uh, I think I'm pretty good at it, actually.
I have a feeling I'm gonna be talking to myself here...
I've sort of procrastinated, I went to the gym, surfed around, read these threads...haven't done a damn thing that's really productive. Well, I guess the gym is, actually.
I'm going to try and write a paragraph tonight, at least.
And many congratulations, Paul! Is there a link to the cover art yet?
Let us know when you get the image up!
Nice article Dale. I don't do bad on descriptions. I set my scenes. Word choices. Shading--tho that is done more after the initial writing.
At least, I'm feeling better. Won't be around much today. Have to down to see my family and Let jake spend the day with his cousin. I have some running around to do there so I'll be back later this afternoon.
Hey all - sorry for cutting out early but hubs got back from a week's vacation. Didn't seem right to fling innuendo when I could be, um...well, you get the idea. Thanks for making my morning treadmill so easy with all this reading!
To catch up:
yep, Rachael - allergic to aloe. That's the same way I found out. Not fun. And all the manufacturers don't think a thing of throwing aloe into everything!
Ken - salute to Mary!
Jill - multicameal = two camels! OMG.
Hi Sherrie! and Linda!
Pat - beautiful description of the room. You do paint pictures with your words.
So now what? Are we continuing today? I've got one last pass through IOHH to get through today, but will check in on breaks!
June, I'm glad you checked in with the Poison control center. What an image--on your back legs twitching...like a bug. Hope you're feeling better today.
Seems everyone was reacting to a long workweek. Wombats are fun, but they need their down time and normal life activities too.
Ok, breakfast, last minute stuff to get done and then off and running.
So, did you ground the kid Judi, or put the fear of god into him and let him slide with a warning?
Good morning early risers. Dog decided 7 was too much sleeping in. I begged to differ, but she's a persistant little bugger.
Sheila I skip description too. I think young people have shorter attention spans. It really is electronic age. If the book doesn't move quickly I put it down. Most of my favorite authors are actually screenwriters.
Off to multi-task. ....wishing I'd finished mowing the backyard last night now....
Pat, I enjoyed your description.
I'll stop in from time to time today between errands and the like.
I decided to take a couple of days off after all the travel. This is the first of 4 days away from work --- Woo hoo! I'm also going to take a run down to see my parents tomorrow.
It's already been a fine occasion to see so many of our old friends here.
Well, the workout's done. Time to shower and get to revisions. Happy Day #367! (it was a leap year, you know.)
Jake is finishing his breakfast. I'm trying to enjoy a cup of coffee. Feel like piece of taffy today, being pulled in all sorts of directions.
Judi, you'll be slaving away on revision 'stuff' too, won't you. Pretty cool, that whole thing.
Hope your headache is all gone Jamie.
Picking up conversation from the last thread, the only Wombat who read my FC1 entry was Ty. When I first started visiting you all during FCR, you'd all talk about Ty (mainly asking where he was) Of course, I didn't know until he finally popped in one day and I saw the... red turtle neck, I think(?) that he was one of my commenters. Can't remember if what he said was favorable or not. I was one of those dummies who never thought to grab my comments off the chapter before Gather took it down. But I do remember women liked my chapter more than men. Men had a problem with my female MC having a one-night stand. Noble Collins (remember him?) said something like "It's a shame. This had some good writing and dialogue and then the author threw in a sex scene just to titillate readers." Not! The rest of the book's plot depends on that one-night-stand. And then he went on and on about my character's morals, and how he refused to read the remainder of the chapter once I "threw in the sex scene" *sigh* Comments about my character's character wasn't something I was expecting. Not saying my MC wasn't trashy and misguided at the novel's start. She is, but, again, that's the book, and she would regret that one-night-stand for the remainder of the novel. As for calling the one-night stand a sex scene; it was two short, blunt paragraphs (in keeping with the one-night-stand fashion) Sheesh.
Okay, didn't even realize my bitterness lingered until now LOL Had I been able to rant with the rest of you afterwards I would have healed by now *sniffle* Let the healing begin! HA
Description. I'm also an action and dialogue type writer, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate reading well-written descriptions penned by others. In fact, I envy writers who write it so well. An author who I think writes wonderful descriptions is Sue Monk Kidd (or is it Kidd Monk?) especially in her "Secret Life of Bees." Such vivid writing.
It's a sunny day here. The muse is amused. With any luck it will be a writing day. Just trying to get myself in the right frame of mind to hit that black moment.
Of course, hubs will likely want help in getting the winter pool cover off (which means summer is just around the corner!!) I love the day the pool cover comes off. Harking back to Dr. B's article, that's another fantasy come true. I always wanted a house with my own pool. Got it. Now if I could only transport this whole thing to someplace where it's always warm and I never have to be cold again...
In the meantime, laundry calls.
Dale, doesn't sound like a fun way to spend the day, but you're a wonderful nephew to help your aunt that way.
Sia, glad you're doing better. Get some rest. That dental stuff can be a PITA.
And Judi, of course, has already accomplished more than I will all day!
By contrast, the comments were generally soft-pedaled in FCR, though I must say I personally got the full spectrum from the 100 or so who waded in to my chapter.
The writer needs a thick skin to deal with feedback and pick out the useful from the useless. My net experience in those 2 contests was to learn a lot about what worked for readers and what did not. I also had the huge benefit of wombat support in FCR, though some of it took the form of tough love in critiques.
Well, change in plans, slightly. Still heading for brief visits with the family, but Jake isn't going to spend the day with the cousins. Instead, much to his delight, they will swing by here on their way back home late this afternoon and pick him up. He's going to the car races and a derby. So He's spending the night with his cousin and husband and my very cute grandniece. He'll have a ball, and I'll have a quiet house, more or less. He needs to get out though.
contests and rants. Like peanuts and elephants.
funny thing about thick skin. There are days it's tough as Rhino skin and other days, thin as paper. I have been having a rough time this last couple of weeks. Not doing as much writing as I should. couldn't get motivated. talked to a good friend for a couple hours last night. She's also a writer. She is very straight forward and to the point. Not hurtful. But she got me back on track. You need people like that in your life.
I teasingly told her, "Lo, I walk in the valley of deep shadow, and wade through the waters of dejection, Tracy is there to B**ch slap me to my senses. I thank you for these things, Lord." I cracked her up. But so very true.
Have fun everyone.
Later...
Chandra gave me a ten but said I should come up with something more creative than an Underworld knockoff. Just for the record, The Wolf Huntress is NOTHING like Underworld. The opening chapter has the same foreboding atmosphere, but the parallels stop there. I got really tired of trying to point out that Nash and his people aren't bloody werewolves. ...sigh....
Link above. Need to wake up.
"You have a nice smile," he said. "Very pretty."
"Thanks, but don't have much to smile about."
"Because of your son or something more?"
She shrugged. "Just tough."
"Tough or bitter? There's a difference."
"Don't feel like talking about it," she said. "In fact, don't feel like talking at all."
Rose knew she was being forward, but need propelled her across the couch. She needed to feel a man's strong arms around her today. And from what she could see his arms looked plenty strong.
She slid next to him. "I might be bitter, but I taste real sweet. Want a taste?"
She could tell by his expression he was shocked at her boldness, but he laced a finger through one of the belt loops on her shorts, tugged her forward and kissed her.
"That's real sweet," he said.
"Have another." She lifted her face to his and when their lips met she pressed herself closer to him and stroked his leg.
He broke their kiss and smiled. "I notice you're not wearing a bra. Could be enticing, you know?" [A joke, referencing something that happened earlier]
This time when he kissed her, he slid his hands under her t-shirt and Rose knew she'd found what she was looking for.
She nipped his earlobe with her teeth and whispered in his ear. "How about showing me the bedroom?"
He kissed her with a rough abandon that quickened her pulse before he led her into the bedroom.
They had raw, feverish sex the first time and slow, good-for-the-complexion sex the second.
She lay with him afterwards in awkward silence...
Now, how was that disgusting or offensive?!!
OK, taking a break from my own writing. It's going slowly today, but I've put up about 800 words. It's just that these next couple of scenes are the toughest in the book, and I'm having a hard time getting there today. But I did manage to make myself cry while writing part of this scene. If you can't make yourself cry, you'll never make the reader cry.
Jamie, I wish I could move along at your whip-crack pace! I just want to get through this. Next scene drops the tension back slightly, before ratcheting it up yet another notch. I may need a nap first. I'm not used to being up so early on a Saturday.
OK, moving on to Wendy's, then Lady E this evening!
Dale, excellent article, and way to get the creative juices flowing!
Back to the old double standard. Why was the female loose and crude, but the guy wasn't? He could have told her 'no'. The moral is: Consensual sex is always appropriate. Even in the first chapter. And if it were my first chapter, there would have been ten pages each on the feverish sex and then the slow sex. And then the feverish sex again in a flashback. :-)