Working with teens who have emotional and behavior problems is challenging and rewarding. It is very important that all people who come in contact with each of them is on the aware of what their treatment plan is, stick with it, communicate with one another and understand who they are. Make sure when talking to them that you say what you want to say in a manner they understand.
Most of them act older than their actual age, so it is easy to forget this. One must remember that they are young teens and preceive things that one might say to them. Some people see it as lying or manipulating, but I try to see how they have came to think this. I'm not saying they don't lie or manipulate because most of the time they do. I have seen in several incidences that they truly believed what they thought was said. I could see it on their faces when confronted with it. I have taken the person to the side and told them this. Sometimes the person will see where they teen is coming from and correct it by going to explain to them what was actually said and the meaning.
I think most teens are like this, they see things differently, I believe this is why parents of teens have so many misunderstanding. You shouldn't ever immediately accuse them of lying. That only brings them to their defensive mode which will in turn you will have a arguement on your hands. I suggest you ask them to repeat what was actually said then if they don't repeat it correctly then say it how it was actually said, explain whatyou were trying to say.
I have older teens in my own household who will hear me or my husband make a comment only to find later on the teen who heard it repeat it in the version of what they thought it meant.
Here is a quote:
Most of our failures in understanding one another have less to do with what is said and what is heard than with what is intended and what is inferred.
- GEORGE A. MILLER, PSYCHOLOGIST