Guys, as most of you are already aware, Mother's Day is this Sunday. I realize that many of you have probably thought ahead this year and have already purchased your Mother's Day gifts (pause for laughter to subside……. that should do it). For those of you who haven't, let's go over the do's and don'ts of giving gifts on Mother's Day:
Do: Buy a card.
Cards are mandatory on Mother's Day, more so than they are on Valentine's Day. Once you've selected your card, be sure to skim through the rest of the Mother's Day cards to see if there are any others that you like. If so, return to the store the day after Mother's Day and stockpile a few years worth of cards at half price. Even if she doesn't know, Mom would appreciate your ability to hunt down a bargain.
Don't: Buy a humorous card.
The Mother's Day card should be void of monkeys, cartoons, and humorous puns or quips. The Mother's Day card should have a floral design on the front and a sappy poem on the inside (just skim it, you don't have to read the whole thing), and it should all be written in a huge looping script font. Oh, and don't forget to sign it.
Don't: Give an appliance as a gift.
Giving an appliance on Mother's Day is almost as bad as giving your wife a case of Slim Fast for Valentine's Day. Mother's Day is about honoring mothers, so the gift should not be a reminder of Mom's role in domestic upkeep. If Mom bucks conventional wisdom and requests an appliance for her Mother's Day gift, you should probably get it in writing just so you're covered.
Do: Give flowers.
Or chocolate. Or some other consumable gift. If flowers or chocolate are out of the question, simply light a fifty dollar bill on fire in her presence, as all of these gifts are just a way of saying that you love her enough to waste money on her.
Do: Apologize for implying that Mother's Day is a waste of money.
I didn't mean that. What I meant to say was you shouldn't put a price tag on showing your appreciation to Mom lest she remind you of all the pregnancy and labor related woes she put up with just to bring your shriveled little pink body into this world.
Do: Involve the children (if you have any) in the gift process.
Receiving a hand made macaroni art picture from your 33 year old son? Insulting! Receiving a hand made macaroni art picture from your 33 year old son's children? The most precious thing you've ever seen and new centerpiece on the refrigerator door! (Don't forget to sign your name along with the kids on the back. It counts!)
Don't: Forget to call or visit on Mother's Day.
Sure you may have bought and signed the frilly card with the saccharin laced poem and mailed it with the non-appliance gift so that it would arrive before Mother's Day, but that doesn't mean you're off the hook. Call your mother and wish her a happy Mother's Day. It's best to call her in the morning or early afternoon if possible. A 10pm call is just as bad as forgetting, if not worse.
These simple reminders should keep you out of hot water and in your mother's good graces. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to supervise the manufacture of some macaroni art. Only for you, Mom.
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Comments: 25
I'm smiling and smiling...and I'm not even a mother. Another 10.
Thank you for posting to Make me Laugh
You will be pleased to know that if you walk the walk you talk, you have an 89% chance of making it through Mother's Day unscathed. This puts you in the top 2 percentile.
Congratulations.
I am all for the spray painted pasta necklace, although you may want to spring for rigatoni since it might be hard to work the thread through elbow macaroni. Although if kids are performing the work, they might have an easier time since their fingers are smaller.
(Oh, cripes!!)
Thank goodness I still have three more days to figure something out.
Thanks for the reminder and the tips, Chris. 10
I still have art work and hand made cards from many years ago. We moms are pretty sentimental.
I wish my sons were on gather so they could see this lol.
Homemade stuff is always best! (It combines the sentimental with the bargain, how can you do better than that!)
Curious on where you stand on the subject of giving your wife a present on mother's day - I personally stand well out of throwing range, myself.
Ok, I know I'm supposed to be above wanting gifts for myself as an adult, but that was a really ugly time in my life and a day at a spa would have gone a long way.