Doubt

Hi Glome,
You've taken your doubts to the right place. God is good.
-Mark

I think we have all felt this way before. It is through our doubts that we come to have greater faith.

We all search for answers to the sacred mysteries of life. I appreciate the raw honesty of this poetry.

To thine own self/Self be true ... (+=-)>(+/-)

My friend, everyone in this world of tribulation and woe seeks answers and comfort.

Seek and you will find ... but let God write the script. You remain the commander of your life in this world but let the Father be your Navigator. You seek for this truth: You are your heart and, because in your heart the Heart of God is laid, you are innocent still.

Let God hold your hand and guide you to experiencing this truth and you will indeed find your way home.

Light and blessings to you, Glome.

Magi

I forgot to say that when you experience God holding your hand, you will doubt no more. And for this, your understanding is not necessary.

We come to God
Not for answers
but because we
are apart of him
as he is of us.

Wow. How beautifully written.

Thanks Mark. It's a good thing some besides you and me is in charge around here :)

Thank you Cheryl. I agree, though painful to go through. But ... it was an important part of my life and I wouldn't change a thing :)
I acidently hit your icon and saw (i guess) you highlighted articles. I hadn't read and opened on another tab so I could come read them when I'm through here.

Hi Jerry. I've seen you little icon around ... read some of your posts. I'd be willing to bet you and I mean totally different things when I say I agree with you :):) I was surprised to see you and am anxious to visit your site. Thanks for coming back.

Thanks for your thoughts elizabeth. Your picture interests me every time I see it. I've read your article regarding her but would love to see it from different directions. Maybe I'll come back and see if you have some in your picture section. Since I haven't started submitting pics I forget to check that when I go to someones site. I'll give it a try.
Thanks for coming by.

Thanks Kellie ... and thanks for befriending me. I'm anxious to see what other pics you have on your site. & see if there is an article about your birds. They are beautiful.

I can't say I have never had any doubt about Christ being my Lord. I have had doubts if I was praying the right way. So he will hear my prayers.

That's a lot of security Sandy.
Since I accepted Christ, it hasn't been a full blown doubt ... just that nagging picking, picking at your brain. when you get down to pray or encourage someone ... a doubt not even put into words. Just floating around your head. It could be the rationalization of my old nature or an attack by an unholy spirit. It wasn't strong enough to make to change directions of my life but sapped my energy. That's why I decided to just get all these shadows written down as boldly as I could. Seeing them clearly and holding them out for God to view also seemed to defuse them. Thanks for coming by and commenting.

Miracles mend all doubt!

Hi Robin ... I haven't been to your site for a few days. I've been tied up. Just got home from watching a grandchild graduate.
Miracles do wonderful things in life; I agree with you. Something we've noted, (in our family talks) miracle come where faith seems already established today. They are a joy and reinforce faith certainly. But Jesus used miracles, sometime, to prove who He was so they would believe. Of course, who knows what He does all around the world. I have heard that He has appeared to Muslims, even in their mosque, to win their love. But to the Church in general maybe ... He doesn't seem to use them to create faith but to reinforce. How do you see it?

There is a great description of exactly what miracles are and how they work HERE Judy...

I had to come back to this again, because it just didn't sit right with me. That word kept bugging me "doubt" and your last three lines. I'm looking at Robins' comment above, so I'll come back to this again.

Glome ~ This is FEATURED in Artistic Therapy

Sharing these passages . . .

2 Chronicles 16:9 - AMPLIFIED BIBLE

9 For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth to show Himself strong in behalf of those whose hearts are blameless toward Him. . . .

2 Chronicles 16:9 - New International Version

9 For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.

2 Chronicles 16:9 - King James Version

9 For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him. . . .

The Christian Faith is not built on "doubt". It is built upon a Rock. It is built on Faith. WE must BELIEVE that He is Who He says He is, and that He can do those things He says He can do. Without doubt, without waivering. Doubt is not Faith.

There are many Christians who have yet to experience God's POWER. Many who have not had a true talk with God. Many who have not walked with Him. Do not KNOW Him. Yet, they call themselves Christians. Babes in Christ.

I'm looking at Cassandra's words here, and I understand what she means. That pulpit scare tactic (referring to the Scripture that is used in your Article) does not instruct the pew people that He Who is in us is stronger than he who is in the world. Nor does it do anything to remind us that God trumps ALL.

Why should we fear the devil? If God be for us, who can be against us? It is one thing to say it -- It is another to BELIEVE it, and WALK in it.

It is by prayer and meditation that we come to the place of revelation. Where we no longer see through the glass darkly. There is POWER in God's Word, yet we must be in His PRESENCE to receive of His POWER.

Christians have the ability to heal, banish, rebuke, turn back, through Prayer and the words of their mouth, all things are possible.

The trouble with this is that our words have power. It is in watching what we speak, and our thoughts that we begin to come in line with a Christ-like mind. For a Christian must have the mind of Christ.

God is REAL. He is a Spirit. And those who worship Him must worship Him in Spirit and in Truth. He is wherever we are. And it is through Him that we live and breathe and move and have our BEING.

When we allow the Holy Spirit to fully work a perfect work within us, we then partake of Heaven on Earth.

God asks each of us, "If TODAY, you will HEAR My VOICE."

Glome ~ Your Article is excellent. It is earnest. It is real.

God Bless You for sharing this.

Blessings ~
Rene

Cassandra and rene. Thanks for these new thoughts. The verses are excellent rene. I'll wait for Cassandra's new thoughts and reconsider the verses at the end of the poem. Actually, they have been changed a number of times.
The primary thought i want to get across is to get any nagging doubts out and acknowledge them to God. He knows our hearts and is very willing to remove those doubts filling us with peace instead. Therefore, the ending verses are important.
Thanks for boldness to share your thoughts and ideas. That's the kind of critiquing that is a great benefit for all.

Bless your heart. I think once I figured out that David had doubts...and took them to the Lord, I realized it was okay for me to do that as well.

That's true Marilyn. One psalm he will be declaring his unfailing faith in God and 2 psalms later he is scared to death because the enemy is on it's way :):) Like you say, it really is a relief to see how human he is and how much God loved him.

Rene and Cassandra; I've been thinking a lot about this doubt. Cassandra, you mentioned the last three lines. You're right, there is something very wrong. But ... those were the real thoughts that often flicked around my head when I was praying. (& btw, I did change the intro to more accurately describe how the doubts were nagging me.)
I didn't openly deny His existance etc ... but those thoughts kept pinging me.
Whether those pings were from my old nature or an unholy spirit I don't know. But wherever they were from ... He was the answer. I believe running to Him is an act of faith. Even if a person has doubts, they can choose to exercise faith in Him anyway by asking His deliverance from that doubt.
At least I did ... and He did :)
I'm still not happy with the verses at the end. Please still offer suggestions for the final verses.
Thanks for featuring this rene ... in spite of its problems :)

God is good & you have found the art of getting rid of doubts, great job

Samantha, after going to your site and getting to know you, your comment means a lot to me.

Glome, throughout my life I have had a lot of faith and there have been times when I have prayed, and thought I had not been answered, I was being tested, and I was praying for the life to continue for a loved one, my mother who was only 43, and then
she passed away, and I wondered was my prayer ignored or was I just not given the answer I wanted, since that time, I still retained my faith, and I have prayed more, and lost more, but I have never doubted again, I just accept that there is a reason why God has called my loved ones home. It is a difficult thing to do, but since I consider myself on a first name basis at this stage of my life, I have turned to him and put all my problems in his hands, and he is taking care of me, so my doubt has ended. I will probably be tested again and again, but I know there are reasons why prayers are
sometimes not answered in the way you want them to be. I am content and at peace. A wonderful place to be.

It is Elsie ... a wonderful place to be. After reading much of your site today what you say doesn't surprise me :)
I don't have to fight doubts now. The blessing of being more mature :) Make that older. :)

Has anyone read Mother Teresa's recently published diaries? I am very curious as to what they contain.

I find writing poetry always puts the subject in prospective.

I haven't Ann. Maybe there is a synopsis on some internet. I remember someone before mentioning her ... that they had learned from her; was that you? Is she a favorite with you? I read a small book by her one time. I don't remember much about it except that she was one strong woman. I'd hate to have to go up against her :):)
I also remember thinking that if she had allowed herself to have a family she could never have accomplished what she had. I can see that turning your back on all attachments could set you free to give your life to others. I'm not that unselfish.

Hi Barbary. You're right. As long as doubts are in the dark they seem worse than they are. Getting them out into the light of day makes a huge difference. In every painful subject.

Ann ... I somewhat changed my intro on this poem using this sentence " ... , darting thoughts and fears pecked at my mind. "
Now everytime I see your bird I suspect you're up to no good. :)

Sorry Glome!

Mother Teresa and I had a very interesting relationship (I'm an agnostic Buddhist, by the way). As I told my husband, if there was anyone who made me inclined to believe in God, it was Mother Teresa.

After Mother Teresa died, I believe her private diaries were published, and they indicated that she had strong doubts about the existence of God. (But I didn't read them myself).

When I related this to my husband, he exclaimed "Wow, she was a lot more enlightened than I thought!" (Being more enlightened she would, of course, be closer to seeing the true nature of things).

Glome - I think many of us have doubt, whether believers or not and you really captured the honesty of those feelings.

Thanks for the info Ann. I knew you weren't a run of the mill Christian certainly :) But not exactly where you were. It's fun to know. Maybe we'll stir each other a little.
I heard the same things about her diary. Didn't know whether it was true or not.
I like many churches ... but I left a formal legalistic church when I received Christ. I found Bible churches to attend. Then we've travelled to many other. Some very good. But knowing and trusting Christ is really what it is all about . My life turned upside down that night.

Thank you Jo. It is a relief not to hide anything. To just say it if it is true and liet the pieces lie where they fall. Trusting Him even with our non belief.
Oops ... just drifted off to sleep again. Nite everybody. Smooches ... :)

Just like the Buddha's, the night he sat under that tree!

I think it's fair to say that most American Buddhists believe that Jesus was an Enlightened Master. My favorite Buddhist master, Thich Nhat Hahn, consider Jesus one of his "spiritual ancestors." I think a lot of spirituality has to do with which master speaks your language (metaphorically, of course).

Which is what those stupid unpublished articles are about. I think I will send them to you soon.

Good. (I woke up again) I'm anxious to read them. Interested to see if we can speak the same language :) It shoudl be very educational; Perhaps our differences won't matter at all.

Glome, I have always felt it natural when I have doubts and feel confused to take my concerns to the man upstairs. Sometimes I get sidetracked and it takes me a while to lay them in his hands, but when I do get to that point, he finds ways to make me feel better about them. I really enjoyed reading this.

Ah ha Tess! I suspected as much :) I think I may have seen you a time or two :):)
Seriously ... He is so approachable. He know our weaknesses and doubts and takes us into situation where they are revealed for the very purpose of confession. It is then we are forgiven and filled with reassurance and faith. God said the faith to believe even come from Him. He said "Even that is not of yourselves" in speaking of our faith.

Glome ~ My friend Georgiana posted An Article A conversation with God - The Little Soul and the Sun that I think you will be interested in reading.

I like what Marilyn had to say about David.

Having "Doubts", being "Angry" with God, and questioning God about life circumstances and situations are REAL ISSUES. Honest and true to self they all are.

It is how we get to the place of REVELATION. "Transformation" takes place. "Understanding" sits down to relate to us. From there we climb the ladder to "KNOW".

It is not that we will never again question God. It is that we will "Ask" God from a different perspective, with a different understanding.

It is through illumination that the Scriptures open up ~ layer after layer peels off. The "Transformation" takes place. Speaking from the experiences of my spirit and soul, knowing that we each have a different walk and none of them is wrong.

I am grateful that you have blessed us with your deepest thoughts here Glome. We are each made the better for it.

Blessings ~
Rene

Thanks Rene, I'm on my way to see it now.
I like "It is through illumination that the Scriptures open up ~ layer after layer peels off.
That is exactly the miracle of the Bible! I have been devouring its pages for 46 years and still can't wait to open them up knowing the living words will open new truth to my soul. How can that be? Only because they are a living spirit moving through us pressing the truth and His presence into us.
The verse I found this morning; "The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him and rescues them." That means from everything; seen and unseen; enemy or circumstane; even ourselves. Since 'ourselves' is my most common enemy :):)
Anyway ... enough of that :) ... back to Georgiana. Thank you for posting.

It is good that you have such a wonderful spiritual orientation.

Hi Glome ~ Revisiting this again. You've mentioned my comment about . . .

"It is through illumination that the Scriptures open up ~ layer after layer peels off.

Your words are so true . . . "How can that be? Only because they are a living spirit moving through us pressing the truth and His presence into us." ~ Glome

I'd say it this way ~ "Only because they are living spirit moving within us and through us revealing the Truth and His Presence within us".

His Word has been engrafted upon our hearts. We need that no man teach us. We must each learn to "stir up the gift."

I may have mentioned this to you Glome, but bear with me if I am repeating myself. . . . I have been in church all of my life ~ went through every denomination ~ studied various religions ~ and, of course, I still don't know anywhere near as much as I seek to know. I never wanted to be a religious fanatic, I so despise that. Which is the reason why I usually don't speak on it too much.

But, in relation to the Scriptures opening up, or any sacred book for that matter, from my own personal experience, although it is hard to explain -- I wish I could put it in a movie form for you. For me, I believe it happened because I was in a place of wanting to KNOW. I had been in Deep PRAYER, and involuntary fasting. And, I do mean "involuntary", because I have never believed in "fasting". I had begun to have VISIONS (awake). Just picture consistent prayer and sleeping with the Bible under your pillow every night. . . . And, one day, with the Bible sitting before me, the Scriptures began to move. Move, as in you check your eyes to see if you are seeing straight. [I'm leaving one other detail out here on purpose]. Then as I began to read (within me), the Scriptures went deeper and said something not on the page; and nothing that I remember reading before. But it was more that just me reading the Scriptures, if you can walk with me on this. There was an inner Teacher speaking. That is the best way I can describe it. The more I read, the more they opened. I was reading the book of DANIEL.

There was a time when I could complete a Scripture if you said the first two or three words. In fact, I would do this without trying, and I found it very educational to be able to sit and hear a minister speak and I would be able to complete the sentence. It was, of course, the Holy Spirit teaching me. I'm not sure I can still do that. And, I know I cannot do that without being empowered. I was just thinking about it the other day -- how I used to be able to tell you what book of the Bible the Scripture was in -- I can't do that any more. Maybe, I'm just not putting my mind and spirit to it.

Thanks for bringing this back up Glome. When you have done as you have said, . . .
" . . .open them up knowing the living words will open new truth to my soul."

Your KEY word being "knowing". Do share more with us of your thoughts, discoveries, and revelations.

Blessings ~
Rene

P.S. ~ Glome ~ I KNOW the Scriptures will OPEN for YOU.

Blessings ~
Rene

I understand your feelings personally. I was a student at Baptist Bible College in Springfield, MO when I started having many doubts about what they were teaching. When theology and the Bible's teachings don't mesh, then you can either blindly accept and obey, or you can seek truth. Too much of what is being taught in our churches is for political social reasons. In my studies I have found many of the translations of especially the Pauline letters are totally inaccurate in spots. I ended up quitting the church, but my faith in Christ is still fervently strong. Truth, not politics matter. The church should follow the first two commandments in keeping with Christ's teaching. Many churches worship the blasphemous god of politics. Yes, a luke-warm church that claims a love of God, but their heart is far away.

Hi William. I love your response. Calvary Bible College is in Kansas City Missouri so we were not that far apart.
It takes a lot of living to separate the Lord Jesus from all the 'stuff' we tend to add to our walk with Him. Doctrine is necessary. It gives us a body of truth to begin with. But slowly, as we study and whittle away ... we find He Himself ... His daily presence, His guidance and control is so overwhelming in pleasure and assurance... I guess you're right ... the first two commandments become a delight as their truth really permeates our thick little heads.
I guess we can say "HE" is my religion. :):) Thanks for coming by. I will read a little at your site and get to know you.

I have to agree with William and add ~ "The Spirit and Truth" matter first and foremost.

I waited a while to respond to renes comment because there is nothing to say to such a revelation. Only the pleasure of reading and rereading. That took courage to share in such a public way rene. I have also had spiritual intervention but almost never mention it because it is a reality more than life. And those listening to the revelation too often minimize it in their mind. Or excuse it away. Or think it is being exagerated. Or think it an overactive imagination. So it is safer to treasure it in silence. I can't bear to think of something so real and precious to be minimized by the listener. So thanks for stepping out & sharing.
Of course many here have had the Spirit communicate with them ... others haven't yet but if they know the Lord will, sooner or later, be blessed to experience him in their spirit in a special way also if they follow after Him. (at least that's what I think ... but who am I to state it as fact?! :) HE is your God.
You have indeed shared under this subject of Doubt at great deal or the joy and urgency of seeking the truth of God as revealed by the Spirt. This is the greatest encouragment we can give each other.
I too want to encourage people, if you aren't sure what the God of the universe has for you, to simply approach Him and ask Him to reveal His truth to you. Then open the Bible and begin to read the Gospel of John. The book of Galatians & the book of Romans.
Please feel free to ask me for any help in understanding either here where others may also benefit ... or by private email. Like rene said, there is so much more in the Bible than the words on the page. The truths of the Eternal Uncreated God were written because He desires that you know Him.

Thanks Pepsi, I know I've been to your site but can't remember much about you. I'm on my way to visit you again and reprogram my brain :)

I too am faced with doubt from time to time. It isn't something that I like to talk about as it would only serve to point out to others that I am only flesh and blood and as such am prone to making mistakes.

I may be faced with doubt at times but the faith that is deep within me will never permit for me to ever doubt for long.

As I look back on my past Esther, I doubted the most when I was religious. I belonged to a religion...I couldn't live up to the requirements. I always felt like I was a fake. And then one day someone showed me the simple gospel and I was shocked. I could not believe you could actually be born into the family of God and that He himself would give me new life and work His change in me. That's the day my life changed. As you say, some doubts flicker around but He fills us with faith. Thanks for coming to this site.

Great article. I have and still doubt God way more than I should. After losing my son I even doubted his existence....after all, where was he??? I know deep down he was there, but I have had so much pain, I guess I needed someone to blame. But I am slowly getting back to him. Thanks for the articles.

Carol, I'm leaving in a minute so can just say thank you for coming. When I come back I want to talk to you more. I have never endured such pain as yours. As soon as I can today, I will be back to your site to see if I can find your story. I will talk to you more than. I cannot imagine what you've been through. Love in Christ, judy

Thank you for your support. I have an article I can send you if you want, it's called My Precious Dustin.

I would love to read the article. I came from your site a few minutes ago. I guess I didn't go back far enough in your articles to find that. I will give it a try. If it isn't on your site, yes please send it to me.

Really lovely. You make the case of our doubts so eloquently, and it's true. When seen written down they no longer have the same power as before.

Thank you. Have a great day.

Thanks Vivian ... very encouraging. Hmmm ... I almost think I can see your two little eyes peeping out of your icons mouth. :):) I will come and visit. I don't believe I've been to your site. But of course if you've been wearing a colored train ... who knows. Those engines made it hard for me to remember who was who.
Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Hi Glome ~ Thank you for responding. I like what you said.

"Of course many here have had the Spirit communicate with them ... others haven't yet but if they know the Lord will, sooner or later, be blessed to experience him in their spirit in a special way also if they follow after Him. (at least that's what I think ... but who am I to state it as fact?! :) HE is your God." ~ Glome

I don't know if people minimize other's revelations or spiritual experiences, no one has done it to my face ~ lol. I have seen people misunderstand the moving of the Holy Spirit in the church. This happens primarily because they do not understand. Sometimes they find it hard to believe. Surely they (at the time) do not have the "gift of discernment" in operation, nor "eyes to see".

It is also, for me, difficult to hide what is TRUTH, and it is also helpful when the Holy Spirit reveals when to speak, what to speak, and what not to speak.

It is important that people know that those with spiritual vision, discernment, insight ~ do not have any difficulty SEEING into another individual the spiritual things that God reveals. There is really nothing hidden.

I do believe, Glome, that there are people following this discussion that want to know more about what I spoke about. There are also those following this thread that already KNOW, and do not in any way find anything minimal about it.

I am enjoying the comments you are receiving to your writing.

HUGE HUGS and Blessings,
Rene

Nicely written. We all have doubts at some time or another. With all the pain and suffering that is going on in the world....and just around us, it's easy to doubt. With all the hypocrisy of many Christians, it's easy to distance yourself from them (for me anyways) and just not go to church as often.
But you know what? At times, the best and most spiritual church is being alone with nature and seeing all the beautiful and perfect things God has given us. It's just you, nature and God. No distractions to take you away from prayer or reflecting on the things that you need to improve on. I feel closer with God while sitting my back porch than I do when I'm at church.

LeeAnn, I don't think I've met you. At least I dont recognize your icon. Almost every time I've said that to someone it turns out I have met them. You'd think I'd learn. I'll come to your site.

I'm glad you brought up the hypocrasy of many Christians. I think that is such a comlicated issue it would help us all to discuss it. I wonder if we should start a new thread or continue on this one. Hmmmm.

Give me a day or so to think about this. Maybe I can somehow link the two together so it doesn't get too long. I will get back to you shortly. Thanks for posting.

He sure didn't seem to be. He felt sorry for himself at times (& so would I) and he did doubt God's fairness ... but in an acceptable way kind of. Just acknowledging he didn't understand Him. God was a little rough on him but ended up blessing him so greatly.
Job had been honest about pouring out his thoughts.
Trusting God with your doubts is still trusting God. God greatly responds to his children saying 'Daddy, I'm afraid.'
You know C, I believe He often lowers us over the clif until we do cry out in doubt. He is always their but we forget to cling to him sometimes. So he helps us out :)

very good, hon.

Thanks Kathryn ... Gather's perpetual bride. You alway put us in a festive mood.
Where's my wedding cake?

I think doubt is a natural part of any Christian's life.

I agree with you Sarah. The doubts were just always floating around my thoughts ... taking the fun out of prayer. I just decided I wanted to write every one of them down as bluntly as I could and present them to Him.
Those irritating little "what if ...?' "what if ...?" on and on. Writing them all down felt really great. I gave Him the gift and then a few days later I all of a sudden realized i had been having fun in prayer; hadn't even thought about doubts. Great relief!

Feed on God's word and starve you doubts to death
Just believe and put your trust in God and He will do the rest
You know old Satan will tempt you every chance he gets
Satan will flee form God's word, when he is at his best
Remember you have dominion over Satan and all the things he says
Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, put your trust in Him, and He will do the rest.

hello Glome... you are a fascinating person...

i do not doubt that God is there... it's just that i do not feel like i belong...

Bless you...

jasper, thank you. You are very strong. This was actually written 1978 when I was in Bible college. But even today when I feel tension I try to think out where my doubt or weakness is and say it to Him. I keep thinking He will see that I learned my lesson and shower me with all kinds of blessings. But I can't seem to fool Him. :)
And btw ... you are my only pink tulip. I have no idea why your name didn't seem right because I do recognize your personality.

Necee, is that true? That's where I was for years before I understood what He wanted of me. I thought He wanted to be 'good' and I knew that even though I could act like I was good. I wasn't the person inside that He would want. And then one night, someone opened the Bible & showed me what He really did for me ... and how I could become his child with a new pure life that He would put in me.
You've come a lot further than you think. Most people think they are just fine. By the time you know enough to know something is wrong ... it means God has been doing a work in your heart.
Please fee free to email me necee, but only if you want to. I'll be praying that God make you strong enough to seek him out. Smooches :)

Glome wanted to thank you for all the wonderful comments you have left on my poems!

This poem really spoke to me as there has been many times I have doubted God hasn't been with me. But, I now have finally figured out that their is a reason or I have to wait on His answers in His time. I loved how you ended the poem with the Bible verses. Puts everything back in perspective.

Thank you Christine. I agree completely. I do believe every thing in our life is part of His plan.
Actually, that poem is dated 1978 ... so it's been 30 years. But I still note that He lets me walk waiting :) I guess that's what faith is ... trusting. It really is also reassuring that it gets easier the longer we're with Him. It shows He really is changing us and growing us up.

Thanks so much for voicing what many have felt. May you always have the Lord to hold your hand. Lovely poem..honest and pure.

Thank you Ashley. That was 30 years ago ... I hadn't really known the Lord that long.
And it was helpful to be honest with him.
Thank you so much for all your visits.

Hi Glome - an excellent piece about the search and the process we go thru. I had written a very, very long comment, but decided this was not the place.
I perceive you to be a wonderful, kind and loving person and I hope you will arrive at the answer that is good and right for you.
May you walk in peace.

Thank you Rose. Actually, that was written 30 years ago ... I appreciate your well wishes ... and I have found answers. Him. :):) He is everything He promises.
I'm sorry I missed your longer post, but I have done the same thing at times and know just what you mean.
Thanks for being so thoughtful.

Okay Glome: my two cents. I did a sermon on this as well that seemed to help a number of people, or at least they came up to me after the sermon and said it did.
I forget what I entitled my sermon, maybe "How to Control Your Thoughts."

Doubts are inevitable, because the enemy is permitted to plant them there; they are called "temptation", and we already know that we are going to be tempted in this world. I won't be verbose again here, so here is the "take home message":

Anytime you have a thought that you don't like, for instance a doubt,
OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND SPEAK IN OPPOSITION TO THE THOUGHT/DOUBT.
And for Heaven's sake, try to make the words "God-filled words", for those words are unbeatable. For the Believer, as soon as Angels hear the Believer speaking God-filled words they are REQUIRED to go to work IMMEDIATELY to begin to fulfill them. This is not true of the sinner, because we know (gospel of John) that Jehovah does not hear them at all.

Take home: doubt is defeated by opening your mouth and -- with faith (the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen) speaking forth the WORD to counter the doubt. It will work every time. Read Mark chapter 11.

Forgot to add: both the Hebrew scriptures and the Greek scriptures confirm it: "the just shall LIVE by faith. It's found 4 times in the Bible, so there has got to be some significance to it.

and it is also said, "without faith it is impossible to please him." (Jehovah).

Ha ha Lady ... that's a hefty 2 cents ... and quite inspired I might add :) Great councel.

Actually, those were written over 30 years ago when I was in college. They were just quiet little thoughts pecking around while I tried to pray. I just felt the need to confess to God every doubt I could dig up. He took them away as soon as I told them.
It really wasn't a poem ... just a letter to Him :)

But you're right and I am much encouraged ... that's why you need strong Chrisitan friends.

very nice.