For all intents and purposes, the following is a suicide note.
Okay, I'm not really killing myself (you can stop emailing the suicide hotline number), at least not my physical self. I am however killing off a virtual version of myself, so while it does deal with the ceasing of life it's in the virtual and not literal sense. I guess you could call it a WoWicide.
Yes, I've finally decided to give up on the World of Warcraft. I just can't take the pressure anymore as my virtual life isn't exactly the escape from reality, safe haven I thought it would be.
Sure, my life began promising enough as a young dwarven hunter roaming the mountains of Ironforge. I ventured the countryside slaying countless beasts as I completed each quest offered to me by my dwarven elders. As I leveled up, I traveled outward into the world (of Warcraft). In my teens (lvls 13 - 19), I gallivanted across the plains of Westfall, slaughtering even more beasts and evildoers as the townsfolk sang my praises. I was on top of the World (of Warcraft). The World (of Warcraft) was my oyster. How quickly things changed.
My troubles began in my mid to late (level) twenties as I was settling into my career as an adventurer. The quests started becoming increasingly harder, many of which required the assistance of other players in the game to complete. Even though I was eager and felt that I was up to the task, I found myself faltering. And were my fellow players any help? Heavens no! They pushed me aside, chastising me as a noob (or newb, n00b, or every other variation of the term). I grew to hate the word noob and all of it's variations, but no matter how hard I tried to deny it, I finally accepted the fact that I was indeed a noob.
It's no fun being a noob. For one thing, noobz get pwn'd a lot (or pwnd, p0wn'd, etc). If you've never been pwn'd, consider yourself lucky. It truly is a humiliating experience, especially when you realize the person responsible for your pwning is probably a 12 yr old kid. It didn't matter that I made more money than him (and possibly his father), didn't matter that I was a college graduate, and it didn't even matter that in a real world confrontation I could've beaten the little punk senseless. We weren't in the real world; we were in the World of Warcraft, and his twinked-out female night elf warrior pwn'd my noob dwarven hunter, and then proceeded to remind me in no uncertain terms that I was a noob who had just been pwn'd.
It was then that I realized that I wasn't long for the World (of Warcraft). I continued playing for another month (it was already paid for, no need to waste money), but I was mostly just going through the motions. So when my time expired I made no effort to re-up my subscription, as I was content to let that part of me die a quiet virtual death.
It's been three weeks since my last pwnage, and although I occasionally pine for the lush virtual landscapes and architecture, I can't say I regret ending my virtual life. I've picked up some less stressful hobbies to fill my time and I would even say that I'm happier now in my real life as a result of my WoWicide. In spite of all that, I can't bring myself to delete the game for good from my computer. Although I resist for now, I can't say for certain that I'll never venture back into the World of Warcraft.
I guess what they say is true. Us noobz are just gluttons for punishment.
|
|
|
More by Chris Carlisle |
rate
email
print
link to this page
Comments: 53
Yes. Most people refer to it as "Golf".
(in my defense, WoW is much cheaper than golf, although a little more time consuming)
He was literally in that game from early morning, and he's wake up, sitting at his computer table with his face in his partially eaten plate of food.
He and my daughter-in-law were about to divorce. He gave it up. And he has been happier now, for years, without WOW. He's actually got a life, now.
My daughter, and my son-in-law are now going through the same thing. My son-in-law is in the game all hours of the night, and all day long, and night on his days off. They don't talk anymore. He spends -0- time with the kids.
Their son, my grandson, has given up his own games. All of them. He didn't play them at all for weeks.
My daughter asked him why he was no longer interested in his games, and he said, "I don't want to grow up to be addicted, like Dad".
I'm hoping my son-in-law will work his way back to the real world, soon. Everyone misses him.
Oh, I still have my character sheets in a folder- just in case ;)
Came a little late for me so I included it in the Son Of Update posting.
Thanks for submitting to humor Monday.
I've picked up some less stressful hobbies to fill my time
I thought you were going to name Gather as your new addiction and hobby. Heheh
Funny as usual, Chris!
what is it, do you suppose, what is it that has caused such a need, the need to escape? The way you talk about these games, it sounds like something much more than mere T.V., yes?
But I never lose the sensation of sitting here, in familiar environs, being myself. Me is always me, and that's who I am.
All the men are beefcake, all the women cheese; I am forced to wonder. What has been done to compel the need, virtual feeding will give you?
Who you are, seems to blend into who you aren't; yes I am forced to wonder.
He probably needs a healer and/or a tank.
(WoW lingo, your husband can probably translate)
I'm on a Normal server, it suits my style. I still get an occasional lost pup following me around offering me 7 silver for god-knows-what because they never say, just keep trying to open trade, or whining they're bored while spamming me with duel requests. I tell the bored ones I must have missed the part in the EULA that says I'm there to entertain them, to which I usually receive a witty "Huh?"
Oblivion did a number on me. I really had to pace myself. You know you're in trouble when you start answering to your game name in real life. Arg. :)
Say, Chris, have you tried rock band? The drum kit is exceptionally fun. And singing badly is also pretty addictive. :-)
Greg, that's flipping brilliant. I lol'd.
Some people get addicted, some people can't stand to play it, others are in between. Just so you know though, you may call it a 'Wowicide', but they keep your account for a very long time before wiping it from the records. So you hunter still lingers in cyberspace stasis somewhere. lol
Come on over to Steemwheedle. I've got 5 70 level toons that can protect you from the 12 year old brats. ;-)
Before anyone gets too concerned, I've been playing WOW for years so those 5 70s were leveled over a long time period. But yes, there is a reason why they call it "World of Warcrack." I know people who take the game way to seriously. They spend every waking moment trying to gear up for Kara, and then spend all their time running the end game dungeons to get the end game gear for no real reason. Because you only need the end game gear if you are running the end game dungeons. And when the next expansion comes out the 71 level green drops will be almost as good as the uber epics from the previous end game dungeon anyway.
On occassion, I get some punk that inspects my gear and makes some stupid comment. But the best thing to do is to reply (in general chat, not whisper): "Come back and talk to me when you move out of your grandma's basement and can hold down a job somewhere other than McDonald's." This generally gets them to publicly explode into a curse-ladden tirade, which is followed by two dozen people reporting him for violating the TOS while calling HIM a noob.
Revenge, my friend, it's all about revenge...
Michael, that's true about the stasis. I "quit" once before for about four months, so in the back of my mind I realize my characters are still out there on the servers waiting for me to log back in. Along w/ being time consuming and frustrating, funds are a bit tight at the moment (come on stimulus check!) so I don't imagine I'll be signing back in until I land that syndication deal (okay, I've just crossed over into another fantasy realm!).
- Christine Zibas
Men are socialized to think that strength & power are the ultimate masculine virtues. Games like WoW allow ordinarily weak men to feel wildly empowered. This can give them a feeling of worth in the virtual world that they probably lack in their real lives. The virtual world becomes a desirable alternative to the real world, like a drug addiction.
This is something of a generalization, but it's been repeated by psychologists and textbooks. Also, I can personally attest to the feeling of masculine inadequacy.
Donna and I have grown kids that play. They've let me wander around WoW with one of their characters (a human mage).
I was an original WarCraft player, and a Starcraft player, and I still find some entertainment value in playing Diablo II: Lord of Destruction on-line.
Some day I hope to be playing WoW, but that won't happen until I get a computer that was made after the Mesozoic period.
Good and Funny, Chris.
Welcome back to reality. 10