by Doyle ( IS SOOO 7 for 7 soon... ) C.
Member since:
January 8, 2007

100 Words Stories: Week 13 Challenge. "Dertien"

May 05, 2008 11:41 AM EDT (Updated: May 11, 2008 11:21 AM EDT)
views: 117 | comments: 57
 

The week 13 Challenge for the group - 100 words, not one more and not one less.

Topic Given: 13

 ______________________________________________________________________

 

Thirteen cigarette butts littered the damp pavement next to his nondescript, unmarked car.  The wisps of exhaust from the dripping tail pipe had long since vanished.  Not that anyone was counting the stakeout trash from the sedan's drizzled windows.  A baker's dozen of stale donuts and some cold coffee topped the menu. 

The elusive (and odd) Fibonacci was inside Apt. M13 and not exactly alone.  He was suspected of foul play in 13 previous disappearances of immoral women.  Women like Markov Prime, or Catherine Hardwicke, of less than perfect character. 

 Luckily he'd introduced his ex-wife, Dreizehn, to him hours earlier.

______________________________________________________________________ 

© Doyle D. Chastain I, 2oo8

 I've hidden 13 references, both veiled and overt, to the theme 'Thirteen' in the story.  How many can YOU find!
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Comments: 57

Stephanie B. May 5, 2008, 12:02pm EDT
The things you do to stand out, Doyle. Now I'll have to come back and figure it all out.
Doyle ( IS SOOO 7 for 7 soon... ) C. May 5, 2008, 12:34pm EDT
Ok . . . but Which six??

Regards,
Doyle I <~~~~~
Penny G. May 5, 2008, 2:47pm EDT
Thirteen is my favorite number, they you've woven it into the story is genius.
Let's see....there's : 1. Thirteen cigarette butts 2. A baker's dozen 3. Fibonacci
4. Apt M13 5. 13 disappearances 6. Prime 7. Dreizehn 8. Dertien 9. odd

That's all i can find, though I have a feeling that Markov and Hardwicke are also somehow references
Penny G. May 5, 2008, 2:49pm EDT
I suppose "less than perfect character" could also be a reference, as 13 is not a perfect number.
Kay M. May 5, 2008, 3:04pm EDT
Love your clever drabble noir.
Have only come up with eight
1. number of cigarettes, 2. baker's dozen,3 odd 4. Fibonacci, 5. thirteen disappearances, 6.prime, 7.Hardwicke who was in the movie Thirteen, 8. driezehn is German, I believe, for 13
Doyle ( IS SOOO 7 for 7 soon... ) C. May 5, 2008, 3:29pm EDT
VERY COOL!

1. 13 Butts
2. Baker's Dozen
3. Fibonacci Sequence
4. Apt. M (13th letter) - 13
5. Catherine Hardwick (Directed Thirteen)
6. Dreizhen - German for 13
7. Prime (number)
8. Odd
9. 13 Previous disappearances.
10. Dertien - Dutch for 13.
11. Markov (it is a Markov number, appearing in solutions to the "Markov Diophantine equation": (1, 5, 13), (1, 13, 34), (5, 13, 194), ...

Regards,
Doyle I <~~~~~
I read this earlier but am not smart enough to day to have come up with more than a handful. I knew if I waited long enough, you suckers would do all the work for me! =)
Doyle ( IS SOOO 7 for 7 soon... ) C. May 5, 2008, 3:33pm EDT
For the 12th, as yet undiscovered gem . . . Every sentence down to the last line is a total of 13 words in length. Due to the 100 word limit, I had to have the last line to make the total exactly 100.

And the 13th!!!! Just pause your mouse on the image and read the mouseover!

This was fun!

Regards,
Doyle I <~~~~~
Doyle ( IS SOOO 7 for 7 soon... ) C. May 5, 2008, 3:34pm EDT
:)

Always a pleasure Joy...:)

Regards,
Doyle I <~~~~~
KC Klein May 5, 2008, 4:30pm EDT
Thanks for posting this to Short Story and More!
Doyle ( IS SOOO 7 for 7 soon... ) C. May 5, 2008, 5:24pm EDT
You're welcome.

Regards,
Doyle I <~~~~~
Alison Pearce May 5, 2008, 5:39pm EDT
Cool Doyle! Very clever drabble!
Doyle ( IS SOOO 7 for 7 soon... ) C. May 5, 2008, 5:46pm EDT
Thanks Alison! :)

Regards,
Doyle I <~~~~~
Alison H. May 5, 2008, 8:09pm EDT
Great job on this drabble!
Pat M. May 5, 2008, 10:57pm EDT
Too bad I'm rubbish with numbers. Well put together Doyle.
Parul S. May 6, 2008, 12:06pm EDT
very smart doyle....both the drabble and the game....i found 4 already mentioned above...but the rest are amazingly hidden well....will come back and read the answers again.
Doyle ( IS SOOO 7 for 7 soon... ) C. May 6, 2008, 12:16pm EDT
Thanks Pat & Parul!

Regards,
Doyle I <~~~~~
penni d. May 6, 2008, 1:45pm EDT
heck, i could only find 5, until I read the thread! there are some smart folk out there,lol... :)
Stephanie B. May 6, 2008, 6:22pm EDT
Came back to check it out and see if I could find them - and the beans were already spilled. Oh, well. Clever, Doyle.
Marge H. May 6, 2008, 7:58pm EDT
I had only found 6. Excellent job and fun.
Anita R. May 7, 2008, 10:17am EDT
I LOVE WORD GAMES. Thank you Doyle. This was so much FUN!!!
Miz Lynn aka/BooBoo May 8, 2008, 10:47am EDT
Clever drabble!!!
Susan B. May 8, 2008, 1:07pm EDT
Absolutely brilliant Doyle :) Love all the 13 references!
Lune Wolfsong May 8, 2008, 1:11pm EDT
Very cleverly done, and a good read as well. Excellent drabble, Doyle.
Doyle ( IS SOOO 7 for 7 soon... ) C. May 8, 2008, 4:04pm EDT
"hey doyle you missed a word, C**ksucker"

No, this is a drabble, not a fantasy for your personal use. Now . . . it's time out for you, you potty-mouthed 2,000 year old vampire . . . until you learn your manners!

Regards,
Doyle I <~~~~~
Doyle ( IS SOOO 7 for 7 soon... ) C. May 8, 2008, 4:10pm EDT
Thanks everyone else. :)

Regards,
Doyle I <~~~~~
Tracey W. May 8, 2008, 9:53pm EDT
Doyle that was great! I loved the ending. Wonderful drabble.
Ruthe M. May 8, 2008, 10:03pm EDT
Oh, so clever are you, Doyle!!! Excellent! Excellent! Or shall I say:

Das war sehr clever ist, mein Freund!
Sheila Deeth May 9, 2008, 2:03pm EDT
Wow! Brilliant!
Jan S. May 9, 2008, 3:46pm EDT
Very clever! Excellent surprise ending. This is was extra fun to read.
ten judges
elizabeth e. May 9, 2008, 6:52pm EDT
OMG...you are dark!
Tracey W. May 10, 2008, 9:43am EDT
Congratulations on your first place win Doyle. You were the natural choice. Well done!
Stephanie B. May 10, 2008, 10:26am EDT
Excellent job, bud. Congratulations.
Sujata (funnily 'Suji' ) S. May 10, 2008, 12:10pm EDT
Congratulations clever one !!!
Jan S. May 10, 2008, 12:25pm EDT
Well done, Doyle!
Photobucket
Lune Wolfsong May 10, 2008, 1:10pm EDT
Congrats!
Marge H. May 10, 2008, 2:10pm EDT
Congratulations, Doyle!
Alison Pearce May 10, 2008, 5:59pm EDT
Congrats Doyle!
Elsie Duggan May 10, 2008, 7:28pm EDT
Congratulations Doyle, well deserved win
Pat M. May 10, 2008, 8:05pm EDT
Well done!
Susan B. May 11, 2008, 11:27am EDT
Congrats on your win Doyle :)
Becky Powell May 11, 2008, 4:04pm EDT
You're the math king! Great story. Definitely a first place winner! Congrats.
Sheila Deeth May 12, 2008, 1:07pm EDT
Congratulations! Excellent drabble. Great win. I love this one.
Lynn Doiron May 12, 2008, 2:34pm EDT
The best! Humor, detail, suspense. Great stuff.
Doyle ( IS SOOO 7 for 7 soon... ) C. May 12, 2008, 10:06pm EDT
Thanks to everyone commenting, voting and enjoying this. I'm humbled (perhaps my Only-est fault)!

Regards,
Doyle I <~~~~~
Ruthe M. May 14, 2008, 11:34am EDT
Congratulations! This was by far the most clever and fun drabble!
Doyle ( IS SOOO 7 for 7 soon... ) C. May 16, 2008, 9:27am EDT
Well, Thank you very much Ruthe!

Regards,
Doyle I <~~~~~

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